Since judges seem to have unfettered discretion and unlimited powers, I'd like to be a judge. I'd be naked under my robe, snore during boring testimony, and keep hard liquor in a hollow gavel.
Oh, and, then I can use the word "punk" to describe the actions of a prosecutor to draw attention away from the fact that I am, in fact, an idiot.
Oh wait, a judge already did that (the last one... though I have my suspicions about the gavel).
Judge Dismisses Child Rape Case After Attorney Late For Court
'Don't Treat Me Like A Punk,' Judge Says
POSTED: 11:29 am EDT June 20, 2006
File this one under "Truth is Stranger III" -- this may have to become a semi-regular blog feature because there are lots of both morons and geniuses in my chosen profession.