I am suffering from post-exam regret. I am an issue-spotting demon... after the fact.
I find myself feeling like I totally blew the first question of my property exam -- a policy question that I really only discussed about half-way through, if that. I could totally rock it NOW. I just didn't then. It was not my finest bit of exam writing *by far* and thinking about it now makes me feel a little sick, knowing its my first impression on the overall test. I'd be inclined to grade me down based on that inanity. Shit. Property was the one subject I felt good about going in.
I am wondering about the interpleader question on Civ Pro -- there was some ambiguity about one party. Maybe I was supposed to do a Rule 24 discussion too? Shit, I was just happy I recognized interpleader. And don't talk to me about the Erie question -- I get Erie, I was prepared for Erie, but what the hell was that? Fortunately, everyone reacted that way to the Erie question, so my somewhat-disorganized-desperation-in-the-last-moments-of-the-exam answer will hopefully save me from sliding off the end of the curve. Or not.
I don't find myself thinking much about what I didn't write in Con Law, just maybe wishing I had written some of it better. Which is even scarier, because if you always miss something on an exam, and I don't even know what I missed...
Contracts has me slightly out of my mind whenever I allow myself to think about it. 6 credits, you know? 12 mini-fact patterns. 15 minutes each. I knew I screwed up one question during the exam itself -- I just couldn't remember the third part of the rule of the case the fact pattern was based on. Got the other two parts cold, so maybe not so bad.
I didn't want to talk about Contracts when it ended. I was planning to run, not walk, to the exit. I didn't want to know if I missed anything else.
But after the exams were turned in, and I was packing up the laptop, someone called out "Hey, number 8, was that just a strange way of asking about impracticability?" After the general murmur of assent, my reaction was F*CK! I didn't discuss that at all. I knew it cold, I just didn't recognize it as an issue -- I discussed material breach on #8. F*ckity f*ck f*ck f*ck!
Its a psychotic system -- where a year's work comes down to a three hour series of fact patterns. I knew it when I signed on. But its nuts, you know? Just nucking futs.
Getting drunk is not a good enough solution to this ... this nagging feeling of failure, of being less than I knew I could be ...
I just want my damn grades so I can come to the final stage of grief, acceptance.
I was completely nodding along with your post. At least three times after finals I've bolted upright in bed at about 3am thinking "Oh My God I didn't talk about X". It's a feeling of total panic. I've even gone to my laptop to open my exam file to see if I did in fact forget to talk about X (twice, I actually did remember). JP thinks I've come somewhat unhinged after exams, but there's so much wrapped up in them- weeks and weeks of reading assignments and hard work. It doesn't seem fair.
ReplyDeleteI'm always the first person out of the exam room- we have to email our exams at the end and I have everything packed and actually send the email from the hallway outside the room. I don't want to hear anyone's comments!
I'm sure your exams will come out much better than you're thinking, but I completely commiserate with your feelings now. At least it's summertime and you can start putting 1L behind you!
I know exactly how you feel. It still hasn't hit me that first year is over because grades aren't due until June 5. It will then take them 1 week+ to release the class ranks. How f'ing long does it really take to enter names, anonymous numbers, and GPA's into an Excel spreadsheet and hit sort??
ReplyDeleteI've been doing the same thing over the past few days, but I finally decided to stop thinking about it because constantly pondering OMG I SHOULD HAVE TALKED ABOUT XYZ will drive one mad.
ReplyDeleteLL -- I don't know if its better or worse that you can actually look at what you typed... we can't. Examsoft.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure either- I guess it depends on whether or not you can let it go. Of the 15 exams I've taken so far, I've only gone back and opened 3 of them (for each of those late night panic attacks). Each class is pretty dead to me as soon as the exam is over- and sometimes halfway through...
ReplyDeleteDamnit, you've got me thinking I missed an impracticability question too.
ReplyDelete