So far I've got:
- Resume air drop.
- Muffin baskets with my picture on them. Muffins wrapped in resume.
- Get resume printed on toilet paper, break into law firm, change toilet paper.
- Get Ron Popeil to do late night infomercial about me.
- Sandwich board like that out-of-work Wharton-educated banker in NYC that I saw on Yahoo front page. Step 3 involves getting on Yahoo front page. NB: May involve nudity.
- Obtain an auto-dialer. Program it to dial law firms. Call them. A lot.
- Find hiring partner's house. Try to replicate how Harry Potter got his Hogwarts letter. NB: May involve owls.
Additional suggestions welcome.