Saturday, February 28, 2009

MILP #87

Just heard a news alert about a woman who was nursing her baby while talking on the phone while driving. She was charged with child endangerment. Her response: I couldn't let the child go hungry. Ummm, now I'm not the smartest woman on the planet, but I'd opt for PULLING OVER!!!!!

Update: Here's the story. Otherwise, I am in paper hell. Catch you on the other side.

The following post was originally posted at OND. Re-posted here for posterity:

MILP Roundup #87

Welcome to the MILP (Moms in the Legal Practice) Roundup #87. This week is the alphabet soup version of the roundup. As it turns out, we don't quite have 26 MILPs, so I'm missing a few letters. I've left the missing letters in the alphabet, so maybe my readers can nominate some good posts to fill in the blanks. In the meantime, for the next week or so I'll be at my parents' house, where internet is scarce and free time is even scarcer, so you may not hear from me for a while. Have fun while I'm away!

PT-LawMom: A is for Aerobics (water aerobics, but still aerobics)
A Year in the Life: B is for Burnout
Leo: C is for Choices
Lag Liv: D is for Document Review
E
Butterflyfish: F is for Farging Somanumbatch
And You Know What Else: G is for Good Grief
Wonkness: H is for Happy dance
Trannyhead: I is for "It's not you, it's me"
J
K
Legally Certifiable: L is for Lawyers (bad ones in this case)
Cee: M is for Making friends
Magic Cookie: N is for Neural plasticity
O
The Menagerie: P is for Pearl Alerts
Q
Googiebaba: R is for Roots
Dakota: S is for Sunny days
Frequent Citations: T is for Taxes
U
Peanut Butter Burrito: V is for Vocabulary
Knocked up (and in law school): W is for Weekend
X
Y
Z

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Belated WTF Wednesday

Friend who gives private piano lessons: You should check out [local religious-affiated school I had not heard of]. It is amazing -- every kid I've ever taught from there has just been well-behaved, focused, and nice. Even the ones who weren't particularly gifted with the piano enjoyed putting in the time to play a few things quite well.

Professor: You should check out [local religious-affiated school I had only just heard of the day before]. My kids love it. The kindergarten teacher is out of this world. [Lots and lots of specific praise for the teachers and what they do]. Positive environment, great community.

So, I check.

Annual tuiton?

Seventeen
Thousand
Dollars

I understand that private school is going to cost money.

But WTF?!?!?!

This post brought to you courtesy of WTF Wednesday.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Farging somanumbatch

Lent resolution: I am giving up swearing. I don't think I swear excessively, but I do swear.

I will fine myself for swears that slip and give proceeds to local charity. Or maybe that's not a good idea -- I may still swear, but then feel ok about it because it is benefitting someone else. Maybe I should prepare to give it to a charity with whom I am in complete disagreement? Hmm.

Anyway, WTF & suck still permissible online, and suck is permissible in real life. The alternatives to suck are all worse.

Feel free to call me out.

Lousy cork-soakers!

Fat Tuesday

Spent the evening playing Apples to Apples with some law school friends. Sadly, several of these folks will be moving far away after graduation, so I am glad we get to spend time together now.
I haven't socialized a whole lot while in law school, so I treasure the times I get to see people outside of the law school building.

Learned that when your adjective is Hilarious, playing 'homeless shelter' or 'car wreck' will trump 'clowns' or 'Adam Sandler.'

Learned that the following cards are appropriate for any adjective, and will win:

  • carnival workers
  • ninja
  • Hillary Rodham Clinton
  • Adolph Hitler

Giving thanks on Fat Tuesday that my husband didn't give me a hard time about going.

Good time.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

What you're missing

On Twitter I answer burning questions like these:

@GoogieBaba and I have been discussing why my Twitter handle is @butterflyfish1 . Specifically, why the 1? And why does my blog have a 1 in it? The simple answer: squatters. The girl squatting on butterflyfish blogspot made one post in 2005. @GoogieBaba noted that the one blog post is really depressing and suggested maybe she offed herself. I like to think she is still alive, a 16 year old girl (now closer to 20) who after a string of bad boy breakups, is now a nun. Out of curiousity because I hadn't looked at it in a while, I just checked out the 'other' bff's profile. If true, she was 28 when she wrote that one post. Hmm... so not a nun. Other theories welcome.

Recent Twitter updates... not all of them, but enough so you're caught up:

@trannyhead Trannyhead Rawks the Barzam and then gets hilariously drunk -- film at 11. from web

Choice: flat iron the hair, or play checkers with Clownfish? Yep, its gonna be another headband day. from web

Attended an ethics seminar at law school today. Lawyer called us all out for wearing jeans, told us to buy suits. from web

Drop off CF, get to school, discover I left my bag at home, return home to get it, Tweet, head back to school. My brain is not working. from web

Television review of the week: Dollhouse premiere Fri. night. Verdict: Cautiously optimistic. from web.

Brain Quest

It was a rainy day, so Clownfish and I headed to the local museum to check out the dinosaurs and planets. We (of course) stopped by the muesum gift shop and I (of course) bought him something educational. His classmate's mom had been raving about the Brain Quest cards and how the pre-school four year old set was waaaay too easy for her kiddo. Her kiddo was currently blasting his way through the five-to-six year old deck.

So, given the choice, did I buy the pre-school deck or the five-year-old deck?

Yep, the five year old deck. Good choice too -- Clownfish is blowing through it. So far, other than questions about coins and money, he's nailed every one. Yes, I know its because we read to him and talk to him and take him to museums etc. But it is also because he goes to a great pre-school that focuses on playing and exploring and thematic learning. His pre-school is really awesome, and I am sad that he'll be leaving it once I've taken the barzam.

MILP #86

PtLawmom had the Roundup.
New Duck next week, than back here.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Did I ever mention that I love musical theater?

Maybe not. You wouldn't know it from this post.

Friend's status message: I just got bible spam.

Upon inquiry, she explained that she received a handwritten letter in her U.S. mail telling her how reading the bible would save her.

Me: niiice. Godspam.
Her: Is that like a low-rent version of Godspell?
Me: Yeah, and there are cow catapaults, killer bunnies, and knights who say Ni.
Me: Oh, wait, that's Godspamalot.
Me: "Jesus Christ -- shrubbery"*
Me: "I'm not dead yet" works as it is.
Me: (a few more painful puns I can't recall now)
Her: You are going to hell, you know that.


________________________________
* Yes I know I mixed my musicals. Jesus Christ Superstar is not the same as Godspell. Still, wouldn't you go to this musical? I totally would.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

They're not insane delusions, they're marketing strategies

I am thinking of taking a guerrilla approach to my job search. You know, use some really aggressive marketing strategies. Aggressive, as in not bound by the rules of professional ethics, common sense, or good taste.

So far I've got:

  • Resume air drop.
  • Muffin baskets with my picture on them. Muffins wrapped in resume.
  • Get resume printed on toilet paper, break into law firm, change toilet paper.
  • Get Ron Popeil to do late night infomercial about me.
  • Sandwich board like that out-of-work Wharton-educated banker in NYC that I saw on Yahoo front page. Step 3 involves getting on Yahoo front page. NB: May involve nudity.
  • Obtain an auto-dialer. Program it to dial law firms. Call them. A lot.
  • Find hiring partner's house. Try to replicate how Harry Potter got his Hogwarts letter. NB: May involve owls.

Additional suggestions welcome.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

MILP #85: T-I-O-N (shun shun shun shun)

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, A New Duck, and A Little Fish in Law School blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

This week's theme: The gamut of our experiences, ending in -tion.

We've got a 1L in the middle of a 1L funk. We've got other law students and bar preppers worried about the present, thinking about the next steps, and figuring out what its all for. We've got lawyer moms at firms and nonprofits -- doing their jobs, making changes, making plans, and maybe a little worried about their financial futures.



Motivation. No more powerful words than "I'm a LAWYER and this is how its gonna be." Proto Attorney
Unmotivation.
We've been where this 1L has been (unhappy, depressed, unmotivated, and overwhelmed) Newlawmom
Qualification. How to be a grown up. Lag Liv
Exhaustion. A day in Googie's Life. Googie
Adaptation. Andrea's busy making plans Peanut Butter Burrito
Promotion. PtLawmom gets some much needed good news and much deserved recognition PtLawmom
Lactation. Cee is taking back her boobs Cee
Urination. Tranny Head delivers the most penis-y post of the week. Tranny Head Rawks

Limitation. Saying no. Frequent Citations
Ruination? Despair and ruination look elsewhere! Zuska is not hiring. Zuska
Conversation. Syd (one of the lawtots) is getting social Balancing Act
Redemption. Legally Certifiable is not Satan's lawyer Legally Certifiable

* Anyone else remember that School House Rock episode?

"T-I-O-N (shun shun shun shun) T-I-O-N (shun shun shun shun) ... never throw it in the water or you will make pollution."

Let's see ... can Youtube can come through again?

Haha -- It did!!

According to Youtube, it was from the Electric Company and not School House Rock. If you watch it, you'll see that it was an easy mistake to make.


___________________
If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at our sites.Expecting Moms in law school are welcome! Hat tip as always to the “original” Roundup — Evan Schaeffer’s Legal Underground and his co-rounder-upper, Nobody!

(Hey all -- Nobody just made Editor in Chief of her journal... go commiserate, I mean congratulate her!)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Stolen Lines #2

"Ghosts definitely live here," I say.

"What? No way. This building is not old enough to have ghosts," she replies.

"Ghosts definitely live here," I repeat with emphasis.

"What? You think this is a Bruce Willis move? You see dead people? Were gruesome crimes committed here and the ghosts of the victims are reaching out to you for help? What, the room is filled with crushed souls in rent garments crying out in pain?" she retorts sarcastically.

"Most definitely," I reply.

"Butterflyfish, this is the room in the law school in which they conduct OCI interviews," she says in an exasperated tone.

"Exactly."



__________________________________
Check out all the Stolen Lines at Law with Grace. You too can participate.
Per Grace, I stole the first line of this post from You'll Never Eat Lunch in This Town Again, by Julia Phillips. My first foray into Stolen Lines, here.

Monday, February 09, 2009

MILP #84

Originally posted at OND and re-posted here for posterity.

Welcome to the Moms in Legal Practice Roundup #84. This week I took advantage of this weird slogan generator for my MILP inspiration.

Here is the strange, strange stuff I came up with:

  • A Year in the Life: Ho ho ho, green pregnant trial lawyer
  • Dakota: Banner ads bring out the best
  • Leo: Every bubble's passed its reflux
  • Butterflyfish: And all because the lady loves mayhem
  • Frequent Citations: Naughty, but crankpot
  • (Formerly) Knocked Up (And in law school): Solutions for a small BFF
  • Lag Liv: Hobbies prevent that sinking feeling
  • Trannyhead: Because the bird is complicated enough
  • Legally Certifiable: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a princess?
  • Magic Cookie: Don't say brown, say "juggle"
  • Peanut Butter Burrito: Get the door - it's corn
  • PT-LawMom: Have you had your tuna today?
  • Cee: Go on, get your easement out
  • The Menagerie: Have you forgotten how good rose garden funeral of sores tastes?

Friday, February 06, 2009

What you're missing

Recent Twitter updates... not all of them:

  • This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg. (xkcd) from web (This was my 'get well soon' wish to RBG.)
  • My prof just blasted My Sharona to start class. from web
  • I've lost ten pounds. Gotta start somewhere I guess. from web
  • @taxgirl Lie to Me is really quite good. I am generally pleased. In other television related tweets, bring back Pushing Daisies! from web
  • Clownfish after kindergarten interview: "She wanted to know my birthday and wanted to know how to write my name." ... this was said in a tone of surprise, like this adult didn't get how to do something so basic. Also, he had to "follow a duck." from web
  • Depressed for unreasonable reasons from web
  • One thing at a time... Biz Tax first. from web
  • Latest post: law prom recap. What I didn't say: I hate every picture taken of me. from web
  • That was really a great Super Bowl. from web
  • Watching Clownfish attempt to make his own lunch. from web
  • Pancakes, fingerpainting, no we can't go outside & play in the slush, board games, no nap, fruit snacks, sugar high, no we can't go out.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

You know what DOESN'T suck about law school?

Finding out you AmJur'd* two classes last semester. *High fives the blawgosphere*


Ahh, the highs and laws of law school... which don't matter a lick the moment I graduate. And really don't matter to anyone but me right now.

__________________________________
* AmJur, for the unitiated, is getting the high grade in the class. Which at my school doesn't necessarily always equate to an A, so I wasn't exactly on notice that this was a possibility. It was a good semester, though I am still ticked about the rank.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

You know what sucks about law school?

Screwing up a class or two in 2L, which drops your GPA and rank. Working your tail off to get your GPA back. Coming within a few hundredths of getting it back and feeling pretty good about that until you remain at exactly at the same lower class rank.

We're not talking more than a few spot slide, but dammit I thought I had made up some ground. It's not quite true when they say you're pretty much set where you are on the curve after first year. You can lose ground. And once you do, its damn near impossible to gain it back.

And its kind of a ridiculous thing to be unhappy about, so I am trying hard to not be unhappy. But our GPAs are depressed compared to neighboring schools because of a vicious curve, so rank matters more than GPA.

And that's what sucks about law school.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Groundhog Day

In honor of the Groundhog Day movie in which Bill Murray lives the day over and over until he gets it right, I am posting the same thing I did around last year's groundhog day.

Steve Burns from Blues Clues + Flaming Lips' Steve Drozd + Jack's Big Music Show = a pretty good kid rock anthem, Hog the Ground.

Take a listen.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Law prom recap

Good music over all. There was a DJ for most of the night, but then they had a live band for the final two hours.

I heard this song again -- Journey's Don't Stop Believing over Michael Jackson's Thriller. We did the modern wedding/prom/party classic number, Bon Jovi's Livin' on a Prayer, which has apparently replaced Sweet Caroline as the song to which everyone must sing karaoke on the dance floor. Please music snobs, don't even pretend you wouldn't have sang along with every word. Of course you would have. Sober. It's Bon-freaking-Jovi. Whoa-OH!

The band started with Laid by James*, which pretty much set the tone for the awesome set to follow. They also did Puddle of Mudd She F*cking Hates Me. I went to Catholic school for my whole life, even college, so though I know the songs well--and like everyone else, sang along--its not the kind of thing that would ever have been played at any event I've ever been to. Ever. Needless to say, I enjoyed it. It was oddly cathartic, like striking at the hearts of all of the nuns who disapproved of dancing with less than 12 feet of space between you and a member of the opposite sex.

Long lines for rum and coke wine water were annoying and the food was pretty bad, but I rarely left the dance floor and had a good time with my friends as we began the slow march to graduating.


__________
* This bed is on fire with passion and love, the neighbors complaining about the noises above . . . ah you think you're so prettyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Lyrics,
video.

MILP #83

Pt-Lawmom had the round up.

One New Duck next week.