Happy New Year

I don't really have the time or inclination to write a post reflecting on the year or -- gulp -- decade. But I wanted to thank my readers and friends and wish you all a happy and safe 2010.

2010?

The future is here. What the f**k do we do now?

Knee deep in Sherlockia

I read my first Sherlock Holmes story in seventh grade. It was the Blue Carbuncle. We read it as a class right around Christmas. It was a mystery involving a Christmas goose and my hippie English teacher was a Holmes fan.

I remember going to the public library over the break and checking out the Complete Sherlock Holmes, all 56 short stories and four novels. I remember it was snowing and I walked home from the library in sneakers because I didn't have the forethought to wear boots or the cash to ride the bus. Yep, I was gifted in that way.

Over the years, I acquired my own copy of the book and spent hours reading and rereading the stories. And writing a complete alphabet based on the Dancing Men, but having no one with whom I could exchange coded messages. And trying to put together a time line because the stories weren't in chronological order and Watson was a bit of an unreliable biographer with some of his personal details (i.e. Was he shot in the shoulder or the leg in the Afghan campaign? How many wives did he have?) let alone with dates. I also had a complete ranking system for the stories which ranged from the excellent (The Speckled Band) to the 'orrible (The Creeping Man).

Ah, to have been in middle school in the age of the internet. I could have made one of those fan sites and made tens of dollars advertising deerstalker caps. As it was, my geekery was confined to spiral bound notebooks long since lost.

Anyway, I got to thinking about this when the new Robert Downey Jr. movie came out. I'll probably see it on dvd, because it is probably not going to be worth the ticket $ and sitter $$$ to see it in the theater. I've heard mixed reviews (supernatural wtf-ery etc.) but I am cautiously optimistic that it will at least be entertaining. I'd like to see what RDJ does with the character. It's not like he doesn't know how cocaine might affect a guy . . . .

*sigh* I miss Jeremy Brett.

I'll probably put aside the books I am currently reading to settle in with an old friend for a few weeks.


“There is nothing in which deduction is so necessary as in religion,” said he, leaning with his back against the shutters. “It can be built up as an exact science by the reasoner. Our highest assurance of the goodness of Providence seems to me to rest in the flowers. All other things, our powers, our desires, our food, are all really necessary for our existence in the first instance. But this rose is an extra. Its smell and its colour are an embellishment of life, not a condition of it. It is only goodness which gives extras, and so I say again that we have much to hope from the flowers.” – The Adventure of the Naval Treaty

MILP #130

PtLawmom had the Roundup.

ProtoAtty next week, then back here.

Would you rather?

. . . know everything and be a cynic or know nothing and be an optimist?

Or, as my sister re-phrased the question,

. . . be Butterflyfish or [our brother]?

And that was Christmas.

Hope yours was merry as well.

Uninteresting

I got a hair cut. Bangs! Chin length. Layers. I look awesome.

My husband went hunting and shot a grouse and then we ate it. It was ok, but it helped that we wrapped it in bacon.

My 34 year old friend just became a grandmother. (Her husband has a daughter from his last marriage and that daughter just had a kid.)

I read a brief in which the attorney used the words quotidian, effluvia, and detritus in a single page. Frustrated English major?

I had a minor routine test to check out some of my lady parts. I had an anxiety attack before hand -- hadn't had one of those in a while. It was unpleasant. The good news is my plumbing is in working order.

Clownfish is pretty excited about Christmas.

We own three vehicles. All three have over 120,000 miles and the 'newest' one is from 2000. We're on borrowed time.

I read a brief in which the party didn't like the definition of the word 'employer' found in the relevant state statute so he "borrowed" the definition from the Civil Rights act instead. Without citation. Nope. No one is going to notice that.

I kind of dig my bare minerals make up -- it doesn't irritate my acne and provides pretty ok coverage for the red blotchyness that I have developed in my old age.

Speaking of acne, my doctor tells me I have PCOS but about the only symptom I have is acne. Well, and obesity. If my choice is between red blotchy skin or "development of male sex characteristics, such as increased body hair, facial hair, a deepening of the voice, male-pattern baldness" ummm, I'll take the acne, thanks.

So... that's why I haven't been blogging "for realsies" lately. Nothing that isn't uninteresting.

MILP #129: The Gleekquel

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts. Next week is Pt-Lawmom.

This week's theme: See MILP #126 for more Gleeky goodness.

Glee is on hiatus til spring, so I have to get my fix in somehow. Without further adieu, the Songs of Glee II.


“Keep Me Hangin’ On” Magic Cookie says set me free why don't you babe . . .
Episode 7

“I Could Have Danced All Night” Cee finished law school and partied . . . umm, mommy-style.
Episode 8

“Endless Love” Dakota finds that "sometimes, even really good people are not meant to be together forever."
Episode 10

“Crush” LagLiv has one of those headaches, but she'll bounce back.
Episode 10

“Gold Digger” ProtoAttorney says Mediocre Law School gets no more.
Episode 2

“Mercy” Newlawmom finds that Tax spares no one.
Episode 3

“True Colors” And you know what else is practically a saint.
Episode 11

“Jump” Better Together finds the only way to get back into blogging is to jump in.
Episode 12

"And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" GoogieBaba is persistent
Episode 13

"Don't Rain On My Parade" SammieB had one of those 'when it rains it pours' weeks.
Episode 13

"You Can't Always Get What You Want" Rayne of Terror found that sometimes the law dictates the wrong result.
Episode 13


. . . alas, no one gave me fodder for the Thong Song after all. I was hopeful when Tranny Head came back.
_________________________________________________
If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at our sites. Expecting Moms in law school are welcome! Hat tip as always to the “original” Roundup — Beyond the Underground and the co-rounder-upper, Nobody!

"Plaintiff's [sic] was damages [sic] by Plaintiff's [sic] behavior."

This was not filed pro se. It was filed by an attorney. But one example of many, mostly egregious typos (respobnsile?) that even a monkey on meth would have caught.

Or you know, spell check, since I assume monkeys on meth are in short supply in BigLaw.



________________________________________
(If you were wondering, it was supposed to read: Plaintiff was damaged by Defendant's behavior. I think. I should argue that this is an admission of the Plaintiff's culpability in his own injury.)

MILP #128

Atty Work product had the Round Up this week.

Tranny Head is back, biotches.

And I have the round up next week -- Glee II if I can make it work.

Pie versus Cake

What say you?

And where does cheesecake fall on the pie/cake continuum? I make my cheesecake in a chocolate pie crust cuz I don't own a springform pan.

20 years and 80 pounds ago

was the last time I ice skated.

But I skated tonight with Bullshark and Clownfish in a pair of beat up rental skates at a rink swarming with aggressive middle school punks intent on skating as fast as they could and crashing into eachother and anyone else in their path.

I managed to get around the rink with some degree of grace.

And I didn't fall once.

I win.

MILP #127

PtLawmom had the Roundup. Back here in two weeks

Data

Clownfish spread a blue blanket out on the floor of the living room. He sat on the couch.

"Mommy, look its a swimming pool! Jump in!"

I obliged and sat on the blanket.

Clownfish pounced on my back from the couch and pinned me to the floor.

"Boobytrap!! It wasn't a swimming pool! I booby trapped it!!"

Made me think of this guy:



Data from the Goonies.

Stef: Data where are you going?
Data: I'm setting booty traps.
Stef: You mean booby traps?
Data: THATS WHAT I SAID! BOOBY TRAPS! God. These Guys!

Everything I know about contracts: offer (do you want wine?) + acceptance (yes please!) = liquidated damages

Colder than a witch's tit

My mom used to say that particular metaphor (analogy? surely not simile?) when I was a kid. Someone else I know recently dropped it in conversation and I was dumbfounded... I had never thought anyone but my mom used that particular phrase. Now it makes me wonder if it was on television or something in the 70s.

But my friend dropping it in conversation brought to mind a very particular childhood memory.

I remember my mom saying that phrase when I was very young . . . young enough that I asked her what a tit was. She asked what I thought it was -- a terrific parenting stall tactic, by the way, one I have used -- and I answered I thought it was the wart on the end of her nose (cuz all witches were green and warty, right?) She let me go on thinking that. But what I remember from that day was my mom barely containing her laughter at the absurdity of our conversation. And my knowing -- knowing -- from her laughter that my definition of tit was wrong. I knew that as surely as a little kid can know anything. But I did not have any means of getting the right definition, cuz I also figured out that I had stumbled into something naughty. I don't have a particular memory of when I figured it out, only of that day, of being wrong and powerless.

Anyway, its fooking cold, as my dad would say. And that's really the point of all this.

Shameless plug alert

Go vote for Namby -- he's been nominated again for the ABA Blawg 100 in the "lighter fare" category.

Vote here.

You have to register. Yes, that is lame. But do it.

Those of you who read legal blogs probably already read his.But not all of you are on Twitter, so I pulled some of my faves from his Twitter feed:

• I want the judge to do my dirty work. And I'm impatient. I'm like Veruca Salt with a JD. "I want the verdict and I want it NOW!"
• Out running. Because ambulances won't chase themselves. Nor will they slow down when I start to cramp up.
• When a judge farts in the face of justice, settled law and common sense, does it make a sound?
• Important oral argument this morning. 50 pages of briefs have been submitted thus far and my complex argument is "the statute says 'or'"
• It's not a productive workday unless I've printed at least 1000 pages. (I'm attempting to deforest the planet, one brief at a time)
• Being nice to opposing counsel is like petting a stray dog. Could be good for you. Could be a lost hand.
• Every time I watch Joy Behar, a little bit of my brain jumps to its death and becomes a booger.
• Practice pointer: It's "Plaintiff" not "Plain tit"
• My partner just authorized me to file a snark-filled retort to my asshole opposing counsel. My hand is shaking I'm so happy.

So go vote for Namby. Do it for truth, justice and the American way. Or for coffee, bouron and snarking the legal way. Either way

Vote here.

"Mommy doesn't make the laws, she helps explain them... she's like a Yoda of the law."

How Bullshark explained my job to Clownfish.

List of things my son has said lately that have left me a little agape

: "What you said was powerful mommy because I haven't done that since."
(after I asked him not to do something, then a few days later did a little check up)

: "You look better than gorgeous."

: "You."
(after I asked what was the best part of his day)