Thursday, January 07, 2010

Not quite a Tigger, but...

In college, I had a friend who likened me to Eeyore from Pooh. It's not that I was outwardly or obviously gloomy. I have a pretty upbeat personality in person and talk in an animated fashion -- quickly and excitedly, perhaps a little manically, occasionally to an awkward degree -- but not at all morosely or sullenly or slowly.

Eeyore? People who do not know me well would never have understood that characterization. And yet, to that friend, I was Eeyore.* Not the morose sullenness . . . more how he acted 'put upon' by life. Like when, upon losing his tail, Eeyore would say something like why bother looking... it will only get lost again....

And that friend was right, much as I hate to admit it. There was an undefinable quality... I somehow came off as 'put upon' or resentful of something or whatever. Even then, had anyone asked, I would never have admitted to feeling that way. Come to think of it, I don't think I was actually aware of ever feeling that way. But I managed to communicate to loud and clear to those who knew how to listen.

I find now, though, that ten years later, I think I have lost whatever that was. Recently my current supervisor said how much she enjoyed working with me because I have such a nice outlook -- that I am always so enthusiastic about each task. And I've noticed it outside work too, though honestly, I think enjoying my job has had a lot to do with it.

I work in a profession filled with Eeyores.

In fact, I share an office with one.

I'm not sure what I am now. But I am not an Eeyore.

* Or, for the sci fi geeks, Marvin the robot from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
"I've been ordered to take you down to the bridge. Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? 'Cos I don't."

I went with the reference I thought more of you would get.

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