Sunday, January 31, 2010

MILP #135: And the Grammy goes to...

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts. Next week is Pt-Lawmom.

This week's theme is in honor of the Grammy Awards. For each post, I looked through the 2010 nominees and found something that, at least on the surface, struck me as appropriate. So, even though I won't be watching the awards and am not hip enough to know what most of this is and will invariably stumble into a hilarious faux pas . . . here we go:


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If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at our sites. Expecting Moms in law school are welcome! Hat tip as always to the “original” Roundup — Beyond the Underground and the co-rounder-upper, Nobody!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Cavaliers, actually.

Clownfish and I were just debating whether male dancers are called ballerinas.

His friend at school told him yes, so his friend is right and mommy is wrong.

The way I understand it, I don't get to be right again until he's about 30.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Adventures in mommyhood

Clownfish wanted very much to tell me a secret today, but he didn't want to break his promise to not tell anyone his secret. But he wanted to tell me. So, he gave me hints until I could guess because then he's not breaking his promise if I guess. The logic of five year olds.

Long story short, 'nice, understanding, patient mommy' went into overdrive and eventually the whole story came out:

Clownfish has a girlfriend. Her name is Georgia, which is a place AND a name! And he hugs her on the playground when no one is looking even though the school has a strict 'no touching' policy. Because he only follows the rules that he wants to and he doesn't want to follow that rule. And he told her he loves her. And -- the big secret revealed -- he wants to marry her. He can't get married til he's big like 20 but he already asked her and she said yes.

At bed time, he told me he wants to dream about Georgia and to pretend that they're married but still only 5. And they can go do something together that will make her happy.


Edited to add: He calls her "Baby."

Oh, have I mentioned that I am NOT ready for this.

MILP #134

Proto Attorney had it. Here next week.

Friday, January 22, 2010

The root of all evil

Recently, we agreed Clownfish could have 50 cents once a week to buy snack at school. The first week, he bought pretzels. He came home and told me how happy he was he chose the healthiest snack available and how fun it was to stand in line with his friends. The second week, he bought ice cream. It didn't take long for him to figure out that he had the freedom to choose whatever he wanted, with no parent standing over his shoulder.

Today I wrote out a check for the two hot lunches that we order for him each month. He wanted me to explain how checks worked. He knew they were like money, but also understood that they weren't money.

So we talked a little and then I quizzed him a little:

Me: So I have $8 in the bank. I wrote this check for $5. And when the principal brings that paper to the bank, the bank, what will they give her?
CF: Five dollars.
Me: Right. And how much will I have left in the bank?
CF: Ummm, three dollars.
Me: Right. And the principal has my $5.
CF: And I get my hot lunch!!
Me: Ok, but what happens if I have only $1 in the bank. And the principal brings the check and asks for $5. Will the bank give her $5?
CF: No?
Me: Right. And the bank will get very mad at mommy for writing a check for $5 when I don't have enough in the bank.
CF: And I won't get my hot lunch!
Me: Right.
CF: How do they know?
Me: What?
CF: How do they know when you write a check that you don't have enough money in there?
Me: Well, they know cuz it is in their computers.
CF: Oh. I guess banks are a little like God.
Me: ????
CF: Just a little like God. They know when you do bad things.

. . . which made me think maybe I could teach him about credit scores next.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Gateway drugs

Remember candy cigarettes? Then parents got all worried that it would make kids think smoking was cool and would get them hooked on nicotine etc.

My coworkers have a theory that Pixie Sticks are the gateway to coke.

Pop Rocks? Crack.

Lick-M-Aid / Fun Dip? Heroin.

Monday, January 18, 2010

MILP #133

PtLawmom has it.

Back here in two weeks.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

So what's normal?

Every kid has his own quirks. And every parent accommodates those quirks to the extent that she is willing or able. And every parent comes to a place of acceptance thinking this is totally normal non-quirky behavior and never gives it another thought . . . until she is in a position where she has to explain it to someone else.

Before Clownfish outgrows his quirky ways, I thought I'd enumerate the ones I am aware of, though there are probably dozens more that I just don't notice.

Food:

He hates peanut butter. Really, a nonallergic five year old who hates peanut butter.

He likes most meat protein -- fish, chicken, pork, red meat -- but likes it prepared as simply as possible, with minimal spices, no sauces, no breading.

These aren't hard-and-fast rules, obviously. For example, he will eat breading on fried chicken fingers. And he loves A1 Steak Sauce, but it has to be separate from the meat so he can dip it.

He eats plain pasta. No sauce. No butter. Plain.

He hates potatoes in every form but potato chip. No fries, no mash, no boil, no bake, no au gratin.

He prefers boiled broccoli to raw and calls it "trees."

He loves green vegetables in general (and corn) but its hard to get him to eat other colors.

He likes food separated -- protein, starch, vegetable. If sauce is involved in the meal (we do try) everything else has to be on a separate plate. Soups and stews and chicken cacciatore and baked dishes like ziti or lasagna and the like do not go over well for this reason.

He takes apart sandwiches and eats the individual components.

Sleep:

After prayers, he began this habit of laying out the rules we had to follow while he was asleep. This list became increasingly long and complicated, followed by extensive yelling of "Goodnight!" "I love you!" "See you in the morning!" through the bedroom door after we'd left and if we didn't yell back he'd cry. Yeah, we had our sleep manipulation behavior fights.

So, I put my foot down and limited it to "Five Things." So I say five things, and he says five things, and then I hug and kiss him and walk out. The yelling stopped, which is good, but it's the five things which I find hilarious.

Mine, usually: Good night good night, God bless you, I love you, Sweet dreams, I'll see you in the morning.
His, usually:
[snoring noises],
(Good night goodnight God bless you I love you) Yes this all counts as one ... he says it fast and I am not a monster.
Sweet dreams,
Follow all the rules,
I'll [random verb -- tackle, tickle, see, smell, hear, raspberry] you in the morning.

________

I'll probably do other categories eventually.

Still thinking. I wrote and posted that spontaneously, but I have made no decisions. Like CM said, its nice to know it's here. We'll see.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Thinking

Approaching the 4th anniversary of the blog. Contemplating closing up shop because I never feel as if I have anything to say anymore.

And yet, I don't feel ready to give it up.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

MILP #132: Play her off, keyboard cat

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts. Next week is Pt-Lawmom.

This week's theme: Ummm.... sooo.... there is no theme this week.

Lag Liv Only billed 90 hours this week. And felt the baby move. Slacker.
Magic Cookie Corporate lawyer by day, keeper of a small, rude, incontinent person by night.
GoogieBaba. Overheard at the tattoo parlor.
(Cee) Starting to Melt. Got melons?
Out Law Mama. Family in transition.
NewLawMom. Health Law, Commercial Law, Administrative Law, and Medical Malpractice.
Jenny8975309. He won't even know what hit him: 12 page affidavit with forty-nine pages of documentation.
Proto Atty. This case will explode in court in a big ball of epic fail.
Legally Certifiable. Baby Lawyer Home Run!
And you know what else? Holiday card drama.
PtLawmom. Crying at work sucks.


... so, a round up of terrific posts, but the non-theme was epic fail. Play her off, keyboard cat.
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If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at our sites. Expecting Moms in law school are welcome! Hat tip as always to the “original” Roundup — Beyond the Underground and the co-rounder-upper, Nobody!
. . . oh? You wanted an explanation for the cat? Ok. This youtube video should clear it up.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Big Green Tractors and Bad Romance

I should never be allowed to write about music. Like most people, I just listen to what I like and don't give much thought to it. I don't read music blogs or magazines. I can't play any instruments. Well, I can play Heart and Soul on a piano, but that hardly counts.

Bullshark loves country music, so I hear a lot of that around the house. I can stand maybe 1/3 of the songs. For every Lady Antebellum (Need You Now) there are three songs amounting to thinly veiled sexual innuendos filled with red neck stereotypes that make me want to burn down Nashville (think Big Green Tractor, Eight Second Ride, and about half of Toby Keith's reportoir).*

Alas, because my son spends more time with Bullshark's music than he does mine, he sings along with country songs. He knows way too many of them, in fact. You haven't lived as a parent til you've heard your five year old son belting out Taylor Swift. I digress.

For my whole life, I have happily consumed whatever manufactured all the same, all the time music that top 40 radio spewed out. But I don't spend a lot of time in my car anymore, and when I am, I often listen to the news.

So, now that I have established that I have zero music credentials, I will proceed to note that I was scanning through radio stations last night when I heard a song today that stopped me cold.

That's right, folks. I am possibly the last person in America to have heard the song Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. Youtube video is here -- until just now, I had no idea what Lady Gaga looked like.

In the refrain (the "I want your love, I want your revenge, You and me could write bad romance..." part), she reminds me of Madonna at her best . . . eminently 'pop diva' singing the kind of tune that makes you want to get up and dance, one that that can get stuck in your head for days. But in the verses and the rest, she sounds like what I imagine Angelina Jolie would sound like if she sang. There is something a little . . . dirtier . . . about her voice. I dig it.

Bullshark is away this weekend. I am pretty sure that by the time he gets home, Clownfish will have the refrain down cold.

Edited to add: Maybe not. Clownfish just asked to listen to this instead.

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* It's not like I hate songs about the south itself. Compare Tim McGraw's "Southern Voice" to those monstrocities. Night and day.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Not quite a Tigger, but...

In college, I had a friend who likened me to Eeyore from Pooh. It's not that I was outwardly or obviously gloomy. I have a pretty upbeat personality in person and talk in an animated fashion -- quickly and excitedly, perhaps a little manically, occasionally to an awkward degree -- but not at all morosely or sullenly or slowly.

Eeyore? People who do not know me well would never have understood that characterization. And yet, to that friend, I was Eeyore.* Not the morose sullenness . . . more how he acted 'put upon' by life. Like when, upon losing his tail, Eeyore would say something like why bother looking... it will only get lost again....

And that friend was right, much as I hate to admit it. There was an undefinable quality... I somehow came off as 'put upon' or resentful of something or whatever. Even then, had anyone asked, I would never have admitted to feeling that way. Come to think of it, I don't think I was actually aware of ever feeling that way. But I managed to communicate to loud and clear to those who knew how to listen.

I find now, though, that ten years later, I think I have lost whatever that was. Recently my current supervisor said how much she enjoyed working with me because I have such a nice outlook -- that I am always so enthusiastic about each task. And I've noticed it outside work too, though honestly, I think enjoying my job has had a lot to do with it.

I work in a profession filled with Eeyores.

In fact, I share an office with one.

I'm not sure what I am now. But I am not an Eeyore.



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* Or, for the sci fi geeks, Marvin the robot from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
"I've been ordered to take you down to the bridge. Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? 'Cos I don't."

I went with the reference I thought more of you would get.

Monday, January 04, 2010

MILP #131

Atty Work Product rang in 2010 with the Round Up

Here next week!!

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

It begins

This will not turn into a weight loss blog, I swear. I won't be posting before or after pics. I won't post calorie intakes or calories burned or workouts or weights or water consumption or bowel movement records or whatever else you hard core weight loss bloggers post. However, I think there is a sense of accountability that comes from putting it out there. Maybe I'll stick to this if I post about it occasionally.

My goal is modest. Lose 30 pounds by July 1.

My husband, brother in law, and friend have some money riding on our respective weight losses by that date. We're all looking to do 30 pounds but the challenge is for total poundage. Each of us could stand to lose more so though we're staring in different places (and I'm the only girl), I think it's fair.

Also, I think I can take them -- that is, I plan to sabotage them by sending trays of brownies. I can resist brownies . . . they (especially Bullshark) cannot. *evil laugh mwah ha ha*

I plan to use my winnings to buy some super cute shoes -- the type I would never ever splurge on unless I was shopping with found money.

Weight today: Zero.

What? You thought you were getting full disclosure? Piss off with you, as my mom would say :-)

Sunday, January 03, 2010

What You're Missing

An occasional feature in which I round up of some of my recent Twitter posts.

Three day weekend draws to close. I feel like I've spent far too much time in my pajamas to be considered a productive member of society.


Overslept, burned my toast, buttered it anyway, dropped it on the floor, butter side down. Today is behaving suspiciously like a Monday


Pissing match over discovery dispute. P's atty objected to medical exam of victim because 9AM appointment was "unconscionable." #lawyers #law #wtf


My son hates violence. He gets very upset at even mildly violent cartoons and shoving on playground. But he loves to watch hunting shows.


I judge my high school acquaintance for naming her child Nevaeh. It's heaven backwards. (And that's how we know I am a terrible person)

Had a nightmare in which I was experiencing auditory hallucinations -- I was hearing beeps no one else could hear. It was my alarm clock #fml

I think I can hear colors and I currently find my fingers fascinating. Damn that was a good pain pill.

Oh my god I am in so much effing pain right now I want to rip my uterus out and post it on a stake in the yard as a warning.


My brother just applied to his second graduate program (masters in teaching) b/c he couldn't get a job w/ his other MS (anthro). H
is FB status said it all. "A lot of people go to college for 7 years... yeah there called Doctors." Is anyone else twitching?

Co-worker wearing sports coat, collared shirt, tie & jeans: "It's like an outfit mullet -- business on the top, party on the bottom."