Saturday, May 29, 2010

Update

Not ectopic. Saw a flickery heartbeat. I am very, very tired. Like holy shit do I have mono? tired. Much more tired than I remember being with Clownfish. Then again, that was in 2003-04. That's a long damn time ago.

Also, I smell meat from two rooms away. Even raw meat. It is most unpleasant.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Who goes first?

Clownfish came home Monday and taught me all of the ways he knows to choose who goes first in a game -- or to calculate who is "it." I recognized two from my own childhood, and two were completely new to me.

One potato, two potato, three potato, four, five potato, six potato, seven potato, more!

Skunk in the barnyard. P U! Who's gonna eat him? That's you! (If you know the old 'shave and a hair cut' rhythm, that's what this is.)

Bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish. How many pieces do you wish? (Strategy here -- you can name a number up to 10).

Doggie woggie says to step right out. (Mmm. Efficient.)

Funnily enough, I was familiar with the food-related ones. Do you remember others?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

I'm ok right now

I don't have a uti or any other infection.
I seem to have passed the stone without noticing. At least the kidney pain has subsided.
I'm feeling tired quite a bit, but that's normal.
Husband administers daily shots in my ass.
I'm scheduled for an ultrasound this week.
Thanks for all the good thoughts and good wishes.

MILP #151: Don't Turn Around

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

I have tee-ball and playdate mayhem today, so we're going without a theme (again). The title of this post is from an Ace of Bass song that is stuck in my head thanks to Lady Gaga's Alejandro. Or it could be a comment on how quickly things change . . . don't turn around, don't blink, it all goes by so quickly. Mmmmm, nope, its Gaga's fault.


Also note: Only Three Years has suddenly gone off-line. We're thinking of you and hope you're ok. And PtLawmom's blog is experiencing technical difficulty. And if Grace doesn't post soon, I am gonna find a small yappy dog and sick it on her.

And that's it for this week. Next week, its PtLawmom, followed by Proto Attorney, then back here, at which time I fully intend to work a theme again.

___________________________
If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at our sites. Expecting Moms in law school are welcome! Hat tip as always to the “original” Roundup — Beyond the Underground and the co-rounder-upper, Nobody!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Pac Man turns 30

Google did a wonderful playable Google doodle today in honor of Pac Man.


Productivity everywhere took a massive dive, including at my office. We noted the difficulty navigating around one particular letter... or as my male coworker put it:

I am having difficulty with the G-spot.

We plan to file our class action sexual harassment suits on Monday.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

"You've been a pain in my ass for years. Its payback time!"

Bullshark, upon finding out that our insurance won't cover the hoohah cream so he gets to give me nightly injections in my buttocks.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Hoohah Monologues

Warning: update on my uterus and other lady parts.

Serious TMI alert. TMI = too much information. On a scale of one to "why would anyone ever post that ever?" this ranks a "dear God, don't read this if you have a penis."

Blood pregnancy test showed I am pregnant (woo!) but my progesterone levels are off. I get to apply some cream to my hoohah and re-test my blood again in a few days.

They still have not ruled out ectopic pregnancy, but also won't schedule me for an ultrasound for another week at least. Weird? Who knows? I am going with 'they're not really that worried but like to say sh*t to cover their asses.'

I'm one of those women who has made it this far in life without having either a urinary tract infection or a yeast infection. So the stabbing pain in my vagina at 4:30 this morning was a pleasant wake up. Well, especially after my kidney stone and attendant nausea had kept me awake from 2:30-4:00. I'm going for a UTI screening in the morning.

Of course, I am convinced I am going to have to take antibiotics which will, naturally, result in yeast infection even if I consume epic quantities of yogurt. I believe my hoohah is trying to get a world record in diagnoses in one month.

Kidney pain not too pronounced today. Night time is worse, if yesterday is an indicator. I am hydrating and peeing like its my job, but I don't think I've passed the stone. Can't get a damn urologist to speak to me in person til June.

Monday, May 17, 2010

MILP #150

was at Proto Atty's place. Here next week.

Update

Doc sending me for blood pregnancy test.
I'll get results tomorrow.
They said no more Advil.
Tylenol only.
F**k.
They said hydrate, hydrate. I'm already on that.
They're worried about ectopic pregnancy.
I've had stones before -- I know what this is. I had the nausea, everything.
Who would think that being confident that I have a stone is my best-case scenario?

Pain and Positive

I have not had a positive pregnancy test since three years ago this month. May 2007. A few weeks thereafter, I got my period. I've been told I wasn't "really" pregnant -- my body just temporarily thought it was. Called a chemical pregnancy. Bullshit. I called it a miscarriage.

We have been trying for years, but we didn't plan to start any interventions until later this summer / fall because of my *new one-year job* which starts soon. I mean, I had an extensive track record that said that I wasn't getting pregnant any time soon . . . not on my own anyway. We were never careful. Why would we be? My uterus was its own birth control device.

So I just had a completely unexpected positive pregnancy test. And did a second to be sure. I called my doc Friday, but she didn't get back to me. No worries. I'll call Monday.

So, great right? Hasn't planned on saying anything more, even here, until I confirmed with a doctor this week. All is well.

Until...

At about 1:30 in the morning last night, I had excruciating pain that woke me up. Even though I made all the recommended dietary changes, I had another f***ing kidney stone attack. There needs to be a word that means knife-stabbing-horror-pain. But I didn't go to the emergency room like last time. Why? They'd want to x-ray me. I can't get an x-ray. They'd want to prescribe really strong pain meds. I can't take really strong pain meds. Plus I know what it is this time. So I thought I'd grit my teeth and put up with it til morning.

I didn't sleep. I googled and found out I should consume lemon juice every hour. I consumed lemon juice. I stood in the shower and let the water relax me some. I watched Lady Gaga videos. I walked the halls. The minutes ticked by slowly. At 3:30, I couldn't take it. So I took some Advil. Because I know that the pain would get out of control and if I didn't get ahead of it, I might end up needing those really strong prescription meds after all. And at 4:30, the pain subsiding somewhat, I fell asleep again for an hour.

I know Tylenol is the preferred pain med during pregnancy. Tylenol doesn't work on kidney pain, in my experience. Advil/Motrin does.

Now I am doubly terrified. 1) that I am not really pregnant. 2) that I really am, and I've hurt the baby.

Don't expect me to be logical. I am tired. I'll keep you posted once I've seen a doctor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, and FYI, other than hubby, no one in real life knows about any of this.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Right now

I'm freaked out, excited, scared, surprised, disbelieving, hopeful, & probably destined for crushing disappointment.

Monday, May 10, 2010

MILP #149

PtLawmom had it.

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

What You're Missing

An occasional feature in which I round up of some of my recent Twitter posts.

  1. Before I had a blog, I had a journal. Found said journal while doing spring cleaning. High school & college stuff. OH GOD THE ANGST IT BURNS
  2. @hijinksensue dude, I knew two eps ago that Alt Walter was coming through #fringe
  3. @huma_rashid Jenna from 30 Rock plays the same character as she did on Ally McBeal. Convinced she is not actually acting. :-)
  4. "Mommy! Look, I got Rosary beads! We did 40 Hail Marys yesterday!" Me: *rethinks Catholic school* *questions if this is best use of time*
  5. has Lady Gaga stuck in her head. Only one way to make wonderfully catchy pop music by a talented singer leave my brain... of to watch #idol
  6. Prediction: 24 ends with Jack Bauer shot dead by Secret Service, but he achieves goal of killing Russians & exposing the lie first

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Talky talky

I just found out that I have to give a presentation at work in a few weeks. Peers & big wigs, a room full of people I respect and who think I am reasonably intelligent and articulate. I would like very much not to disabuse them of that image. But I have a history of failing at stuff like this spectacularly. There is one law school public speaking story I didn't even blog because it was so humiliating -- and shoot, I love blogging about being humiliated. Sure, I've done well with it too... but my confidence is shaken.

Here are my promises to myself:

1. No Power Point. Power Point makes presentations interminable. Power Point is the devil.
2. No hands shaking, voice quaking nervousness. This is not a big deal.
3. No crying. I mean it.
4. Keep it in the time limit.

Everything after that is cream cheese.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Kandinsky terrifies me

Knee deep in transcripts and finding humor where I can.

Perhaps my favorite quote is one party's repeated insistence that the children live in "abstract fear." I keep imagining them running away from Jackson Pollack paintings.

I mentioned this, via email, to a coworker. Her reply: I initially read that as "abstract tear" and had an image of little children running through a Picasso, much like the woman at the Met who made a big hole in one.

Dear God NO! It's a Picasso! RUN!!!


(Note: "Children" in question are 16 and 17 years old and by all accounts save one, perfectly well adjusted. I am not actually a monster.)

Sunday, May 02, 2010

MILP #148: Catching Up

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

This week's theme? Meh, I'm just stopping in to catch up . . .

And that's it for this week. Next week, I think its PtLawmom, followed by Proto Attorney, then back here.

___________________________
If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at our sites. Expecting Moms in law school are welcome! Hat tip as always to the “original” Roundup — Beyond the Underground and the co-rounder-upper, Nobody!

Saturday, May 01, 2010

MILP Round Ups

MILP #147 at Proto Attorney

MILP #146 at PtLawmom

MILP #145 at Proto Attorney

MILP #144 at Proto Attorney

Here tomorrow.

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

About time I started doing some work around here . . .

This is why they have logic questions on the LSAT

  • The parking garage has 8 levels.
  • If all goes according to schedule, I arrive at the garage by 8:05 and park on level 3.
  • One day per week, due to oversleeping, inattention, and/or inability to find clean socks, I arrive after 8:10 and before 8:20 and park on either level 3 or 4.
  • Occasionally, everything has gone to hell and I arrive at 8:25 and park on level 4 or 5.
  • On days when everything goes to hell, I stop for coffee. Because f**k it, I'm already late.
  • One day a month I have to go to another office in the morning, so I am lucky to get any f**king spot on any level by the time I arrive at 11. I'm talking to you, a**holes who take up three spots.
  • I can never get the hang of Thursdays.

Today is Thursday.
I stopped for coffee.
My son wore dirty socks.
Its been 8 hours since I parked.
Where the f**k is my car?