8. I once wrote about my fear of having my throat slit. Haunts me less than it used to.
7. Walking up the stairs at my parents' house, my back to the front door, always terrified me. I don't know what I thought was coming through that door, but for as long as I can remember, I ran like my life depended on it up those stairs.
6. I have specific, recurring nightmares about harm befalling my children. Sometimes its my fault -- like a car accident or I accidentally drop a hot pot on them -- which results in disfigurement or worse. Sometimes it is not in my control, but I run through possible scenarios in my head: what would you do if someone tried to carjack you and the kids were in the car?
5. I don't kill or dispose of any bugs/spiders that find their way into the house. I don't shriek and stand on chairs when I see bugs, but I let other people handle them. When Bullshark is away, I am compelled to adopt a live and let live mentality.
4. Not so much a fear, but an anxiety about what's next in my career. What will I be doing with my law degree after July 31? I have no idea. I'm not even sure I know what I want to do if my Plan A doesn't work out. And that's pretty terrifying.
3. I have specific, recurring nightmares about harm befalling my husband. He drives a lot and goes to war zones occasionally. Nuff said.
2. I love scuba diving and I love the ocean. That said, I had a scary incident at about 70 feet when I was separated from the group while swimming through and around in a large coral reef, and when I tried to ascend to look for the group from above, I became momentarily trapped ... wedged by my tank between stone and coral. I still have nightmares about those few moments before I freed myself.
1. Debt. I have a lot of debt, though probably less than many other homeowners with my education. Nonetheless, never getting out from under this debt is terrifying.
The scuba incident just gave me a near panic attack just reading about it. I love watching undersea video, but I would be way too chicken to actually do it.
ReplyDeleteI'm with E.H.! I learned to scuba dive last summer and I made my then boyfriend (a certified diver) hold my hand the ENTIRE time. It was a wonderful experience that I will do again, but isn't everyone's natural inclination to realize that they are TRAPPED BENEATH WATER and to panic? Just saying.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I will graduate with an obnoxious amount of debt as well ($70K/year anyone?), but it's a necessary evil. You are right that there are people with far more debt who manage to buy houses, etc. and make it work. (A friend, who is now a very successful jewelry designer in NY, told me that her startup loans for her business could have bought her six houses...GULP.)