Ten Days of Butterflyfish Challenge: 10 Secrets

I've seen this meme circulating and I figured it would be a good way to shake off the writing cobwebs.  So, ten secrets. 

10.  I was in a talented and gifted program in elementary school (third through fifth grade).  I was bussed to the local public school twice a week for special classes.  I never felt smart enough to be in the program and I dropped out after three years.  It probably didn't help that one of my classroom teachers regularly made snide remarks about it -- if I forgot to make up an assignment or got anything less than 100% on a quiz, she would comment in front of the class things like "I guess being gifted doesn't mean you can count." 
 
9.  I hate confrontation.  I have a very reactive/expressive face that gets red easily when I feel strong emotion. In short, even when I'm just super-annoyed, I appear as if I'm gonna cry.  (This is probably not a 'secret' to anyone who knows me in person.)

8.  I made a huge mistake last week -- a huge mistake that was a total parent fail and terrified Clownfish.  This is not overstatement.  Its bad enough that even though I am posting "secrets" on a psudeo-anonymous blog, I am not posting the details.  I am so haunted by the could have beens -- the horrible things that could have happened because of my momentary lapse -- that whatever sleep I might have been able to secure as the parent of a newborn has been completely obliterated.*  

7.  I feel lots of guilt over things I cannot change.   See, for example, #8.

6.  I am the opposite of a wine snob. Wine slut?  Whatever, I'll drink something with a screw off cap and a name like "Midnight Hobo"** if it tastes good.

5.  I have a list of books I feel as if I should read, mostly classics, that I probably never will read.  Its like the "substantive law" blog feeds to which I subscribe that never seem to be my first (or second ... or fifth) priority in reading, my love of law & legal geekery notwithstanding.

4.  I am not vegetarian, yet I am completely repulsed by preparing raw meat, especially poultry and seafood, for consumption. When I engage in the process, blessedly a rare occasion now that Bullshark has taken on the lion's share of the cooking, I gag and retch the whole time.  Ugh, I am gagging right now thinking about it. Blech.    

3.  I am not an adventurous eater.  I am put off by foreign spices, smells, and especially textures. If I had the money, I'd love to travel the world, but I suspect I would be that asshole American who'd be looking for the local McDonald's after a few days. And I hate McDonald's.

2.  I am terrible about skincare.  I wash my face in the shower each day with that dime-store classic Noxzema, but that's usually it.  I very rarely put on moisturizer or sun block.  Then again, I rarely wear make up.

1.  I wish someone would nominate me for one of those makeover shows like "What Not to Wear" so I could buy a whole new wardrobe and get lessons in make up, etc., without guilt.  I act like I don't think that "that stuff" is important to me. But it is.  I want to be able to care about looking better and actually look better and spend some money on myself.  But I can't.  I have a very hard time spending money for just me.  



* When Clownfish was about four months old, I propped him up on a pillow on my bed to take his picture. I turned my back for a second and he tumbled off the bed and onto the floor.  He wasn't hurt, thank God -- my bed back than wasn't particularly high and he landed on carpet -- but I was a mess.  The mommy fail from last week feels 110 times worse.

** HT Jeph Jacques.