Weighty issues

Truth time.  This post might disappear cuz I reveal a lot that I am ashamed of.  But here it is ... for now.

I've occasionally mentioned that I am plus-sized.  Some people assume that means I weigh over 300 pounds (Ummm. No.).  Some people think that only means I am a size 12.  (Dude, I think that's the average American woman, so you need a new definition of plus size.)  People's definitions vary and I never really got into the specifics on the blog.  I mentioned back in October 2007 that I wore a "size 3" at L*ne Bry*nt.  But that's about it.

Ok, so here's the truth.  Size 3 at LB is a size 20 to other people.  Over the last five years or so, that's about where I was.  Ten pounds up, ten pounds down... sometimes I could look good in an 18 ("size 2").  I owned a lot of clothes sized "18/20."  But I was still wearing that size jean as of last spring.  Right before I got pregnant, I had already started buying the 20/22 blouses cuz the 18/20s were sometimes too tight. It got to where I couldn't fit in to my "skinny" 18s at all.  Hell, my 20s were sometimes tight.  My high weight was 235, which I hit about February of last year.  Yeah.  That weight is totally appropriate for my height though, cuz I'm a 6' 3" linebacker in real life.  Ummm, or I'm a barely 5' 2" girl and have all the firmness and tone of warm cottage cheese.   

So ... OMG you guys! 

I'm down over 45 pounds from that high weight.  All of the suits that I wore in Fall 2009 are now enormous on me. Like "I cannot wear them, I look ridiculous" enormous.  I was actually able to wear them through my 9th month of pregnancy.  I've had to buy a few new slacks and skirts since returning to work, and my mom bought me a black suit jacket to get me through the next few months. 

You know that song from the Sound of Music?  I spend my days humming "I am 16 going on 14 . . ."  Yeah. 14.  I own (and fit into) a pair of work slacks and a pair of Old Navy jeans in size 14.  I am almost able to shop exclusively at places that don't say "plus size" or "women" in the store name.  I'm gonna need some shopping lessons.  My goal before I start doing serious shopping, which I think is completely achievable by July, is to be a 14 ... going on a 12. 

The weird thing is, I don't see the difference.  Everyone else seems to, but I feel like I look the same.  Maybe cuz I was always in denial about how big I had gotten, I can't see the progress I've made.  I need the affirmation of the raw numbers.