My mom has been thinner than me pretty much since I started packing on the pounds in high school. She might have weighed more than me then -- she has huge boobs and is taller -- but she wore a smaller size pant. There have been a few times we've been the same size, but never in my memory have I been smaller.
My mom has been out of work for a year. She's been seriously depressed. She packed on some weight. I've lost some. I am now smaller by at least a few sizes. She comments on it. A lot. For a while she was convinced we had discovered some diet pill we weren't sharing. No, we've just cut way back on our personal carb/processed food intake and really upped the veggies. Does wonders.
My mom aggressively feeds. Very aggressively. Its like a hostile form of love, impossible to reject because of the "good intention" behind it. When I was last at her house (about a month ago), I felt sick because she put so much in front of me and I reverted to my teenage years and ate it.
She can do that shit on her own territory, but in my house, I'm in control. I control what's in my house. In my mind, a sleeve of Oreos constitutes an appropriate serving size. So we don't keep the things in the house. (Ok, we have single serve bags sometimes for Clownfish's lunch box, but for some reason I can avoid that temptation -- probably because it is clearly for my son and not for 'the family'.)
Mom came to Clownfish's baseball game last night. She kept commenting on how much weight Bullshark and I have lost. Then, instead of driving home behind us after the game, she drove to Dunkin Donuts. She bought six bagels ("but they're whole wheat so they're healthy") 25 munchkins ("they're for Clownfish because he did such a good job at his game, you'll let him have a treat won't you?") and six glazed donuts, my own personal pastry weakness ("well, one won't kill you... or just leave them for Clownfish.")
Right, cuz having them in the house isn't sabotage. Being strong in the face of temptation is not a personal quality I possess, but this time I'm mad.
I am now blogging because I am staring at the donut box. She's not awake yet, but when she wakes, I imagine she's going to very aggressively try to get me to eat one.
Not gonna happen. Nor will I "compromise" and "just" have a bagel.
Just. No.
Ugh. I'm glad you're mad -- you should be!
ReplyDeleteStay strong - different motivation, but my mom does something similar. She's also always been much skinnier than me, but has a powerful drive to indulge those she loves. So cake & ice cream for me, treats for our older dog (which the dog loved but which clearly made her very sick).
ReplyDeleteIt's ok to just pitch that sort of thing in the trash. Lie to her if necessary about where it went, put it in the neighbor's trash can - just get it out of the house.
I can't believe you said your mother has huge boobs.
ReplyDeleteHow frustrating!! I'm like you, there are certain things I can't have in the house because I tend to eat the whole package at once. I hope you were/are able to stay strong!
ReplyDeleteGood for you on standing up to your Mom. I too have similar issues with not being able to control portion size. It's just easier not to have it in the house.
ReplyDeleteUgh, food pushers!!! My father-in-law is a food pusher. The worst part? He doesn't eat any of the food he brings! I'm like WTF?!?! You're trying to guilt me into eating more of this crap, and you haven't so much as taken a bite!! I am a small person, barely over 5 feet tall, I do not need a 24 oz steak!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Dinei, dump the stuff in the trash. It's okay to throw out food. That is something I have always struggled with.
@ Sandy. I almost said knockers.
ReplyDelete@ Everyone who said "throw it out." I normally would, or I would bring it to the boys at work, if she had brought it and left it here. But she's staying for a few days. I just got home. Hungry. They're still here. Having fruit instead.