June

Last June was training time at the Lucy job.  I was miserable.  Due to certain quirks of the system, I had to do twice the work of other trainees in the same amount of time. I worked through lunch most days and stayed late, while the others were socializing and/or doing bar prep. I was also, unbeknownst to anyone at the job, in the early days of my pregnancy, taking hormone shots in the ass that amplified all negative feelings of panic, sadness and stress.  June 2010 was not a good time.*

I promised myself then that I would advocate for my replacement, though in such a way that it did not appear as if I were complaining about my own personal hell June.  Due, in part, to some of my advocacy and in part to some systemic changes beyond my paygrade, my replacement is going to have a much less awful month than I had.  Well, his workload is comparable to everyone else's, anyway.

Too bad, once again, I can't say the same is true for me.  There is a fixed amount of work to be done before our term ends in July.  I have picked up two huge assignments and several small ones -- enough to keep me very busy between now and the end, but not enough to cause me panic attacks.  Yet every day I feel further behind, because the idea of a fixed amount of work is illusory.  I keep getting other crazy little projects.  Stuff that not only would not have bothered me a month ago, but stuff I would have enjoyed. Now? Seeing the days trickle down on the calendar, while also seeing my work pile grow.... sigh.**

It is gonna be another one of those Junes. 

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* The rest of the year was seriously awesome and I loved it. There was less stress. Time was on my side. I got stuff done without the looming threat of a drop-dead date. Oh, you know, except for the weeks leading up to my daughter's birth.  But people backed off giving me new stuff towards the end then, and just let me finish what I had. 
** Don't think I haven't considered shoveling some of it onto my replacement's desk, cuz I have.