I am pretty terrified of spiders. I think Ron from Harry Potter is completely and utterly rational in this regard. While Bullshark was deployed, I adopted a live and let live approach to any little spiders that found their way into the house. Until I started killing them occasionally. Only if they were small and unsuspecting and slowish and I was sure I would be successful the first time.
Now, I have a very large problem. There are (at least) three very very big spiders who live outside my house. During the early evening, they weave very very large and intricate webs between my roof gutter and front yard lamp and in front of my front door. So, if I come home after dark, my path is blocked by enormous spiders hovering in the center of enormous webs.
This has happened four times. Each time, I elected to have the kids stand back while I used an ISWBD (improvised spider web breaking device--junk mail, usually) to break a few key strands so we could move past without getting covered in sticky web attached to angry huge spiders. This has taken no small amount of skill -- night time, after all. The spiders move their webs every time, and the only warning you get (if you're looking for it) is the hovering spider himself, marking the center of the web.
But then I leave them alone. Because they are far far far too big for me to kill. UGH. As I type this, I keep getting that icky feeling that I have spider webs on me or spiders crawling on my skin.
Last night, after we made it safely inside, and the biggest spider by the door started repairing his web, I decided to take action. I found a can of ant killer in the basement. I sprayed the spider through the screen door. He fell to the ground, stunned more by the liquid than any poison. Then he climbed back up and went back to work.
Great. Now I've pissed them off.
Gross - we used to have those on our back porch. They blocked the door, the stairs up to the deck, and there were at least five of them. But they were seasonal - they only lasted a brief period of time in the fall, and then would disappear til spring. You know, right when people also want to hang out outside.
ReplyDeleteThe largest spider I got chased by was in Africa. Turns out if you spray them long enough with bug spray they will eventually curl up and die. It took a while though...
ReplyDeleteI once ran one over with my car to get rid of it... granted, it was a tarantula, but i feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteI recommend getting the children out and burning the house down before it's too late.
ReplyDeleteHahaha Proto, you made me laugh out loud!
ReplyDeleteBFF can you station a broom outside only for spider whacking and use that or do you think they would incorporate it into their giant web? If not, I second Proto, take out your family photos, computer and passports and then just let the mother burn.
Ana wrote a blog post in support of the noble spiders, citing Charlotte's Web. See http://rubyredslipper.blogspot.com/2011/08/spiders-welcome-here.html
ReplyDeleteI responded that if one of the spiders outside my house was as talented as Charlotte, it could write the fucking Federalist Papers in the webs they're building.