Friday, April 29, 2011

Conflicted

Usually, I head out the door in the morning without a backward thought.  My kids are safe and happy, I am in going to work mode. I work at work.  I come home and I don't think about work, except insofar as I have to pump and launder and otherwise prepare for going work.

Today, I was out of sorts. My eyes welled up.  Angelfish is growing so fast. So fast. She coos and ahhhs and talks and gahs nonstop.  I'm missing her babyhood. And I feel as if Clownfish and I haven't had a proper conversation in days.

Work was fine -- nothing new or stressful, but nothing exciting either. It was the first time in a long time that I felt "meh" about my job.  

I'm just tired and cranky, I know.  Nothing some sleep and some family time won't cure.

Monday, April 25, 2011

MILP #200: One word

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

This week I'm attempting to round up the posts using a single word.


I read an article about Ruth Bader Ginsburg in which, among other things, she discussed the challenges of being a mom in the legal profession. She noticed that whenever there was a difficulty with one of her children at school, for example, the school invariably called her, and not her husband, who was also a working attorney. Finally, she told them that her children had two parents and that the school should consider alternating which one they called. Such a simple response to a typical MILP challenge.

This is our #200th Roundup.  200 weeks -- since July 2007 -- we've been rounding up the posts written by our little community of lawyer (and law student) mommies.  As I said on week #100:  I would just like to take this occasion to note how honored I am to be even mentioned in the same sentence as some of these fantastic women bloggers. Thank you all for being part of this journey.



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If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at any of our sites.  Expecting moms in law school and attorneys are welcome

Friday, April 22, 2011

Interview

Holy shit, I got an interview at [redacted--but awesome]. Interview in 2 weeks. Spending today being happy I got interview, before I freak out.  WANT!!!! So MUCH!!

24 hours later.

Interview is not for a permanent job, but for another term job. Less awesome. Changes the math on whether its worth it (commute + burning a bridge to a different term job with better commute elsewhere).

Also, the start date, which wasn't posted when I applied, is a problem.  But until I interview, I don't know how flexible that start date is.

I should probably wait until I'm hired before I start worrying about these things, huh?

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Guess

Which is more important to my law school:

timely mailing a certified transcript so one of their graduates can apply for a prestigious job?

or a $2 fee?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

MILP #199

Atty work product had it.

Unpublished

I wrote a post about "shit my mom does," but writing it out doesn't work. I don't know if it would be worse to write about it and have people think, wow, you're making a big deal out of nothing.  Or for people to confirm that really, her behavior is ....  Yeah. 

The little girl inside of me who worked very hard to make sure everything looked normal, nothing to see here, just can't hit publish.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

MILP #198

Ptlawmom had it. Proto up next.  Looks like I get #200. Better start thinking of something awesome.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Angelfish Three Months

This post is so disjointed.

I can't believe that I didn't write about the turtle stretching in the last post.  When Angelfish wakes up, she balls her hands into fists and reaches over her head.  She shuts her eyes tighter as she arches her back and stretches.  She does this thing with her mouth where her upper lip protrudes a bit over the lower lip and she shrugs up her shoulders and shakes her head back and forth in a "no" motion while she stretches.  Occasionally, we get the forehead wrinkle.  Then, her arms and back relax and she pops her head up and opens her eyes.  The overall effect is that of a little turtle pushing its head out of its shell.

Angelfish has grown into a very smiley baby.  I can put her in a papasan and bring into into the bathroom while I shower, then bring her into the bedroom while I get dressed.  I don't even have to keep up a steady stream of chatter -- she just hangs out while I get everything going in the morning.

(On a related note, I am blessed that Clownfish is more or less self-reliant when it comes to getting ready, dressed and breakfast. Being a working mommy with an infant and say, two year old, would be much harder I think.)

I still get the biggest smiles when I change her diaper in her room.  She runs hot and cold on baths -- they're either awesome and relaxing or a form of baby torture.  But she loves when I rub her down afterward with lotion.  She's getting so purposeful in her movement -- she reaches out to grab, hold and shake and is so happy when the toy reward her with a little rattle or ring.

She still loves her binky to sleep and gnaws on her hands when she's hungry.  She is fascinated with her mobile.  On the doctor's recommendation, she has been sleeping in her car seat in our room and not the bassinet because of the coughing.

She has an amazing ability to remove socks. A lot of her socks have monkeys on them (this is Bullshark's doing) because we call her monkey.  Remember that old song Rocky Top (Tennesee)?  I sing her a song to that tune about "monkey socks ... monkey socks on my feet."
 
In other Angelfish related news, breastfeeding is awesome and I'm very glad I'm doing it (and not just for the weight loss).  But the convenience factor that was so prevalent when I nursed Clownfish is gone now that I am working outside the home.  I spend so much of my time washing and preparing bottles, washing pumping gear, pumping, dressing and undressing from pumping, sterilizing (which I am probably not nearly vigilent enough about) . . . . Part of the problem is that the bottles I use are not made by the same people who make the pumping supplies, so there is a more pouring and double the washing.  But she took to those bottles better, and who am I to argue with a happy baby?  Its not unbearable or anything... it just takes a good bit of my time.  I have a limited freezer supply, but I'm still keeping up with demand with only one formula supplemental bottle a day.

Friday, April 08, 2011

Keep your distance from me, don't pay no attention to me...

I mentioned that I had strep with a ridiculous fever.  Clownfish also had strep.  Angelfish has had a stuffed up nose for four weeks.  That is 1/3 of her life.  She has what the doctor called the "daycare crud."  She spiked a fever last week (not strep, thank goodness.)  The crud has moved to her lungs. She coughs a lot. Clownfish has had molloscum since summer camp last year, but it has recently started to spread.  He's being treated by a dermatologist.

Oh, did I mention that I now have pink eye for the first time in my life, ever? 

It is contagious disease central.

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Matchbox 20.

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Weighty issues

Truth time.  This post might disappear cuz I reveal a lot that I am ashamed of.  But here it is ... for now.

I've occasionally mentioned that I am plus-sized.  Some people assume that means I weigh over 300 pounds (Ummm. No.).  Some people think that only means I am a size 12.  (Dude, I think that's the average American woman, so you need a new definition of plus size.)  People's definitions vary and I never really got into the specifics on the blog.  I mentioned back in October 2007 that I wore a "size 3" at L*ne Bry*nt.  But that's about it.

Ok, so here's the truth.  Size 3 at LB is a size 20 to other people.  Over the last five years or so, that's about where I was.  Ten pounds up, ten pounds down... sometimes I could look good in an 18 ("size 2").  I owned a lot of clothes sized "18/20."  But I was still wearing that size jean as of last spring.  Right before I got pregnant, I had already started buying the 20/22 blouses cuz the 18/20s were sometimes too tight. It got to where I couldn't fit in to my "skinny" 18s at all.  Hell, my 20s were sometimes tight.  My high weight was 235, which I hit about February of last year.  Yeah.  That weight is totally appropriate for my height though, cuz I'm a 6' 3" linebacker in real life.  Ummm, or I'm a barely 5' 2" girl and have all the firmness and tone of warm cottage cheese.   

So ... OMG you guys! 

I'm down over 45 pounds from that high weight.  All of the suits that I wore in Fall 2009 are now enormous on me. Like "I cannot wear them, I look ridiculous" enormous.  I was actually able to wear them through my 9th month of pregnancy.  I've had to buy a few new slacks and skirts since returning to work, and my mom bought me a black suit jacket to get me through the next few months. 

You know that song from the Sound of Music?  I spend my days humming "I am 16 going on 14 . . ."  Yeah. 14.  I own (and fit into) a pair of work slacks and a pair of Old Navy jeans in size 14.  I am almost able to shop exclusively at places that don't say "plus size" or "women" in the store name.  I'm gonna need some shopping lessons.  My goal before I start doing serious shopping, which I think is completely achievable by July, is to be a 14 ... going on a 12. 

The weird thing is, I don't see the difference.  Everyone else seems to, but I feel like I look the same.  Maybe cuz I was always in denial about how big I had gotten, I can't see the progress I've made.  I need the affirmation of the raw numbers.

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Question for my BigLaw MILPs (or other BigLaw readers)

Twitter acquaintance, Gigi, a young female associate in a Biglaw firm (not a MILP, but we won't hold that against her), asked this question:

What would you do if your home office still hadn't staffed you on a deal three months into your stint as a 1st yr big law associate?

My gut answer (count your blessings!) is probably inappropriate because I'm sure its tough to meet your billables while you're waiting to be staffed on a deal.

I didn't know what to tell her, but I know enough of you have been there, done that, got the spit-up-stained t-shirt, so I thought you could advise her.

Thanks for any insight.

Sunday, April 03, 2011

MILP #196 & #197: Double Duty

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

I already discussed how and why I dropped the ball last week.  So here's what you missed in the MILP-o-sphere for the week ending March 27, 2011.

Att Work Product has a post about a lawyer's advice that I want to e-mail to everyone I know.
WNW Litigator's work/life is out of balance
Lag Liv on Go Fish in pictures
Jenny is in a holding pattern.
Ptlawmom has job pains and tooth aches.
Frequent Citations is dealing with a shocking loss.
Magic Cookie is making strides with having two kids
So is - R -.
Legally Certifiable on power tools & daughters.
Suzie JD on automobiles & daughters

And here is this week's Roundup.

Magic Cookie on why maternity leave rocks (and kind of sucks) -- except she sounds way smarter when she says it.
LEO on working, sick days and Grandmas.
Nonsense & Frippery on another good reason not to watch television dramas.
Cowgirl is singing C'mon C'mon do the Google motion with me....
Law School Ninja on taste.
Lag Liv on the hard stuff & the good stuff.
Sammie B is playing blog catch up too.
WNW Litigator is an insurance law geek with a killer commute.
Izzie is almost done with 2L (my how time flies!)
Legally Certifiable has the potential for a depo transcript to go viral, if she ever gets to take it.
Atty Work Product on failcation.
Suzie JD is sore for all the right reasons


__________________________________________________________
If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at any of our sites.  Expecting moms in law school and attorneys are welcome!

Friday, April 01, 2011

M.I.A.

So, I suck. I dropped the ball on the MILP Roundup this week. I'm doing a double round up on Sunday.  And I haven't posted a real post in about two weeks.  So here's what's been happening.

The childcare arrangements.  Angelfish is in daycare on Mondays and Fridays.  My mom comes up on Monday night and stays through Thursday afternoon.  She watches Angelfish on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.  It is just temporary -- through June -- but she couldn't bear the idea of my sending the little one to full-time daycare at 6 weeks of age.  For Angelfish, it has been a blessing. She's a wonderful, doting grandmother who takes fantastic care of my daughter.  For the rest of us (including grandma), it has been ... challenging.  I am thinking of starting a separate twitter feed entitled sh** my mom says.  I'd bet I could get a television pilot out of it.

Work itself.  I am fully back into the swing of things.  I am on a modified schedule (I get to leave at 4:00, but I get there early and usually eat lunch at my desk.)  Still an awesome job. Still happy every day I am at work, even when I'm stressed or frustrated.  People have either been supportive or disinterested -- I haven't encountered any overt hostility.  I'll be sad when my term is up in July.

Milk.  I have an abandoned bathroom with a lock on the door where I go pump a few times a day.  If you can't find me, I can usually be found lurking in a disused corridor carrying books etc. in my arms and a large black bag on my shoulder.  I got one of those hands-free pumping bustiers, so once I'm hooked up, I can read or edit work.  Just wish I had a work laptop -- I'd abandon my cubicle altogether, hang out in my little private tiled closet and call it an office.  Milk supply is keeping up so far.  We typically do one formula bottle a day.

Sleep.  Angelfish is 11 weeks old and 13.5 pounds.  She's an eater.  Bullshark does the 10/11p.m. feeding while I sleep.  She usually wakes for a feeding again around 2 and 4:30 and 6.  Sometime during the night, I usually pump once too. I don't get nearly enough sleep, but I usually get enough to get by.  I've definitely chosen sleep over blogging, so that's why you haven't seen much here lately.  I can read my reader quickly in the morning in between preparing bottles, but actually blogging?  Ummm....   

Strep.  I got so sick last week.  Raging sore throat and super high fever sick.  Sweat through your pajamas even after an overdose of Tylenol sick.  I was run down from lack of sleep and was really susceptible, so of course, I got hit. I got tested, got antibiotics, got better.  Clownfish was home with it for two days this week.  Fortunately, Grandma was here so I didn't miss any work.  Now he's better.  But Angelfish spiked a fever -- she tested negative for strep.  Bullshark stayed home with her today.  Strep sucks.

Weight.  I've lost some.  Separate post coming.  But I've gotta go feed the baby, so this post is coming to an abrupt halt.  But, yeah.  Lost weight.  Breastfeeding rules.