Things I haven't been blogging about...
... my good friend got drunk at New Year's and, completely uncharacteristically, went off on me about how I've been too busy to hang out and I don't make enough of an effort to be a good friend. When her husband tried to intervene she said "no, I've been saying this to you for years... its time she knew." So... clearly not just a drunk tirade. It went on for a while, and I didn't say much. The whole thing was hugely upsetting for many reasons -- some of it was probably fair and true, which made me sad, and some of it was unfair and untrue, which made me mad, but I wasn't arguing with her at that moment -- and the whole thing has really thrown me.
... Work is good. I think something that I worked on is gonna get reversed on appeal. I mean, my part in it wasn't huge, and I have nothing to do with what happens in the appeal, but I don't like the idea of being "wrong." I mean, it could be upheld too. Time will tell. But I have a bad feeling about it.
... Angelfish is omgsoclose to walking. She may have taken three steps at daycare today. I may pretend that didn't happen.
... There is a CLE I really really really want to attend. They're bringing in a speaker that I might never have the opportunity to see otherwise. But its an all day thing, about a week of my due date, and its pretty expensive. Logistically, probably not gonna happen.
... I am a little panicked about summer. I'll be home with a newborn, an 18 month old, and an almost 8 year old. The girls, I can make work. But my son is going to want to go places, like the beach or a pool. Most of his friends will be at day camps, so I can't count on play dates. And I don't think, with me not working, we'll be able to afford camp for him. So what this comes back to is what it always feels like it comes back to for me these days... money. It gets me down sometimes.
So... not spiraling in a pit of depression or anything -- lots of blessings: 25 weeks pregnant; days away from Angelfish's first birthday; everyone is reasonably healthy -- but not been feeling my best either.
Sending good thoughts your way. You can't be everything to everyone, but I think you do a pretty fabulous job of being an awesome friend/mom/lawyer/gestator to many! Things will work out, hang in there :)
ReplyDeleteThat is a lot to deal with at once. I hope you manage to sort it all out.
ReplyDeleteDrama with friends who are more social than I am is probably why I have very few friends. I am totally a homebody. I'd rather have me-time and down time than meet up with a friend anyday. That's probably not good but when I'm social at work all week, the last thing I want to do after work is be MORE social. I have had some friends make comments about how I'm too busy for them and sadly, I've let our friendships drift apart. Sounds like you need to sit down with your friend when she hasn't been drinking and have a heart to heart.
ReplyDeleteAs far as work (and family), you just do the best you can and everything will work out. Decisions get reversed. If that happens, then it proves you did a great job of swaying the initial judge when you had a less than certain outcome. I'd be proud! No one can blame you for a reversal. It happens.
And just tackle summer when it gets here, who know what will happen between now and then :)
M and I spend a lot of time talking about the mom trap. You reach a point when it's impossible TO work, because of the cost of daycare. It's maddening. I can't take anything but a legal job (with a big girl salary) because it's not worth the daycare + tax hit we'd take.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your friend -- that just sucks. I hope for your sake that she apologizes and you can make amends. But seriously -- of course you're busy. Who wouldn't be with law school/legal job/new baby/pregnancy? WTF? Good friends should know things ebb and flow. Sigh.
Hey, just an fyi, I dont know who was putting on that CLE, but if its MN CLE they offer scholarships. Just call the office and they can email/fax/snail mail you an application. if you apply, you're almost guaranteed to get a pretty substantial discount! its worth a shot!
ReplyDelete