Thursday, May 10, 2012

Three weeks: who needs sleep?

Disjointed thoughts drafted throughout the last two days.
  • Lionfish is a very pretty baby.  She has long fingers and dark hair and eyes and a sweet little face.  When she's curled up on my chest like a little kitten, snoring lightly, its mommy heaven.
  • She's strong.  She lifts her head and moves so much.   
  • She's growing quickly.  So quickly.  Too quickly? Happy/sad.
  • The nursing situation has improved -- less cracking and bleeding, some trauma and soreness, but no crying (on my part) lately.
  • Two babies crying simultaneously is not awesome. 
  • I haven't begun pumping yet because omg I don't know when I am supposed to find the time.  I feel like, during the day, when I'm not holding the baby, I am holding or playing with Angelfish.  At night, if/when I get to put the baby down for more than ten minutes, I use that time to sleep!
  • Lionfish wants to be held... pretty much all the time, but especially between 5 p.m. and 8 a.m.  During the morning rush to get Clownfish ready and feeding Angelfish breakfast, etc., I pop her in the Baby Bjorn. 
  • Right now, Wednesday morning, I'm kind of overwhelmed.  I feel hungry all the time, I'm eating crap, its raining so I can't get outside, and Angelfish is crabby, and it has literally taken me almost two hours to construct this sentence.  Lionfish pretty much won't fall asleep unless she's held.  If I put her down before she's asleep deeply enough, she awakes and wails.   (Note: Bullshark comes home & makes dinner every night and tries to give me a break in the evening, but the last few days, he's had tons of work to do at night, and he's exhausted too.  I can't say that my partner is anything other than supportive and awesome -- its just reality that my sleep schedule sucks right now, and I am depressed and overwhelmed as a result.)
  • Right now, Thursday morning.  Last night, I got more sleep (poor Bullshark got much less), but I'm less overwhelmed today.  It also helps that I just dropped Angelfish off at daycare.  (She goes two days a week to reserve her spot for the fall.)
Ok I'm gonna post this now, disjointed as it is, because it is already kind of a ridiculous scattershot post and its not likely to improve with time.  How the hell other new mommies post prolifically in the first month is absolutely beyond my comprehension.


  1. Ouch, I feel your sleep deprived pain. My baby wanted to be held ALL the freaking time too and ONLY napped if he was held. It is so beyond exhausting because you never get a break, even when baby is resting. Thank goodness the newborn period doesn't last forever! Hang in there and, IMO, you are posting a lot for a new mom (or anyone, really). You're blog rockstar!

  2. Other new mommies post prolifically while the baby is napping and the house is quiet. You don't have that luxury.

  3. I can't even imagine how challenging your days are- mine are rough with just two! Just remember, this will pass eventually and you are one strong momma! We're rooting for you!

  4. Your hands are full! Hang in there, mama. And I'm so glad you've been able to post at all :) It's good to hear how life with a brand new baby has been going for you.

    Here's a dumb question about pumping I feel comfortable enough asking you: can you do it after you nurse the baby - like just take the baby off and put the pump on? Or does the baby drink all the milk and you have to come back to pump later? These are the kinds of things that I seem to plan for in my head and then when it comes down to actually doing it in practice, I'm sure I'm going to be completely lost!

    1. Replying via email. These are exactly the questions you should ask!!

  5. I guess one of the saddest part of being a parent is that they all grow up so fast. One day they're still your little babies, then the next they're off to college.