Adjusting: Parents

Oh my gawd, you guys.  Bringing home an infant post-cesarean is 1 million times harder when you have a 15 month old that you're not allowed to lift.  (The doctors did a great job putting the fear of death into me regarding that, and I've been really scrupulous about it.)  Angelfish sleeps and naps in a crib, and eats in a high chair.  Lifting is essential.  Fortunately, Bullshark took off work for the whole week last week.  He has always been an awesome Papa and partner, but this time, he really out did himself.  I really could not have made it through the week without him.

Lionfish is (so far) a pretty typical newborn.  She still has her days and nights mixed up.  During the day, she cries when she's hungry and when she needs a burp.  Otherwise, she sleeps.  At night, its like she's at Mardi Gras -- she's wide awake, she wants to dance, and she constantly wants access to my boobs.  

Last week, Bullshark took a shift holding her between 9ish and midnight so I could get a block of uninterrupted sleep.  Then I took the overnight with Lionfish, and Bullshark responded to Angelfish if she woke during the night.  (Angelfish typically wakes once, and goes right back to sleep if you give her two-three ounces of water.)

Bullshark is back at work today, so my mom came up last night.  We'll see how the next few days go. Last night, I visited with mom during my sleep window so... yeah... today I'ma gonna nap.

I've had some discomfort and recovery seems slower this time.  Actually, its probably not.  We brought home Angelfish in the middle of one of the worst winters ever -- we were stuck inside for weeks, really, so I didn't feel any rush to be able to get outside and take walks or run errands or go to the park.  This time, its spring... a really lovely spring, and I have errands I want to run and a burning desire to be outside.  I've been pushing pretty hard to get out every day, so discomfort is probably inevitable.  Also, this "no driving" thing sucks.

Ok... Grandma is taking Angelfish for a walk, baby is fed, and I'm gonna nap if I can.

Adjusting: Angelfish

How are we doing since the arrival of Lionfish?  Let's start with the one I was most worried about -- Angelfish.

At first, she had a hard time understanding that mommy could not pick her UP-ee because mommy had a "boo boo."  But she has adjusted.  She's learned that she's allowed to climb all over my lap so long as I'm sitting on the floor, and she's been happy with that.

I really feel like she has grown up  and changed sooo much this week.  Its as if she suddenly understands so much more of what we're saying... or, she's understood all along, but has decided what we say is worth heeding more of the time.  She says Mama and Papa a LOT now, which is awesome.  Oh, and NO. Lots of NO these days.  Plus, there have been instances where she says words like "outside," but she doesn't say them consistently or clearly, so its hard to count them.

Yesterday, I was sitting on the floor, and she decided it would be fun to play with my hair.  She made mommy "pretty."  Then she came around and gave me a big kiss on the lips.  She has never given kisses without my asking.  It was mommy heaven.    

Overall, she has responded very well to the arrival of the "bay-bee."  When I'm holding Lionfish, she occasionally takes out a doll that she holds and pats and feeds and calls "bay-bee" and/or the baby's name.  She occasionally pats Lionfish and says "hi" to her and says her name, but otherwise ignores her.   This, I think, is the best case scenario with a 15 month old.

MILP #249

PTLAWMOM HAD IT.

SORRY FOR SHOUTING. HOLDING BABY WHILE TYPING

Welcome Lionfish!

Lionfish was born on April 18, 2012. She weighed in at 7 lbs 12 oz and was 21 inches long.

Today is the day

Going to meet baby Boo. 
Will update when I can. 
No smartphone, so don't be surprised if its a day or two before we have pictures.

15 months

Angelfish, now, in Bullets of Awesomeness

• She has started some animal impressions -- monkey, elephant (trunk wave!), wolf/howling dogs (ahh-ooooooh!).  If she doesn't know or remember, she does a roaring sound that is hilarious.
• She can walk very very fast (or maybe my 39+ week pregnant belly is slowing me down).
• She says 'what's that' and points.  
• She hardly ever says mama/mommy or papa... but she says Clownfish all day long. 
• She suddenly understands what hugs are and gives them freely (well, mostly to Clownfish).  But she'll play independently, and then suddenly come over and hug my legs, and go back to playing.  So that's something.  
• She is very independent -- we go on walks around the block, and for a good bit of the walk, she'll charge ahead, refusing to hold hands or even look back to make sure we're still with her.  I've noticed several mommies referring to their daughters in the 15-24 month age range as honey badgers ... I totally see it -- she just don't give a shit.  
• She shakes her tushie and dances to the ABC song played by our fridge magnet.
• She is fascinated by the telephone -- she loves when I put my sister or mom on speaker.  She walks around house with a plastic cell phone chattering away.  She also has a plastic purse (a gift from a friend), and she carries it around with her phone like she's a big girl.
• Whenever she is given a stuffed animal or baby doll, she puts it on her shoulder and pats its back and says "Hi Baby!"
• She still signs "more" and "please," though "please" usually needs a reminder.
• She still insists on having the same book read to her 15 times in a row, and its hard to distract her from it if that's what she wants. She happily anticipates the animal noise or movement or whatever that's coming on the next page.  I've noticed that she alternates from looking at the pages to looking at my lips ... maybe to see how I say the words? 
• The tantrums... the oh my god so dramatic tantrums.  Just... wow.
• Word most often spoken:  UP-EEE.    
• She's a pretty good sleeper and decent napper, which I hope will continue in the coming weeks

MILP #248: The Monkees

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis among several blogs.  Next week is Ptlawmom.  We aim for Sunday posts.

All right, ladies.  I'm going for another music theme.  Growing up, I watched reruns of the Monkees television show. I bought the "Then and Now" cassette when it came out in ... (quick Wikipedia search) ... 1986 (holy shit!! really??) and played it incessantly.  Since Davy Jones died, I figured the time had come to try this theme.  So here's a theme based on the titles of songs off that album.  There's some doubling up here...

• Daydream Believer. Wild Northwest Litigator welcomes Baby Ryan!!
• Pleasant Valley Sunday.  Lag Liv and Atty Work Product on Easter fun-times and cuteness.
• A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You.  Izzie feels like she's been pregnant for over two years, and thanks to nursing, her body hasn't been her own in a loong time.  Yeah... 
• Sometime In The Morning.  K Marks the Spot ... 2:00ish in the morning, actually.
• The Girl I Knew Somewhere. But I do have a law degree... and the voice of the SAHM.
  
• You Just May Be The One.  And you know what else has found a new BFF.
• What Am I Doing Hangin’ Round.  Googie wants out of the legal profession.
• I’m A Believer.  Kate thinks believers deserve respect; Reluctant Grownup enjoyed Holy Week
• Words.  Alice and Dinei on toddlerspeak.
• Goin’ Down. Atty at Large takes on sinus infections... and jackasses.
• Listen To The Band. (but don't illegally download the songs or images for profit), amiright Legally Ceritfiable? (I am.)
• That Was Then, This Is Now.  Butterflyfish on possibly losing her job.* 
  
• She. Mommy Madness, feminism and cuteness. 
• Anytime, Anyplace, Anywhere.  Juliet & the contagious disease central that is daycare.
• Take a Giant Step. Welcome pregnant fledgling lawyer, You Will Have a Bright Future (we need a shorter name!) to the roundup, who is taking a giant step into mommyhood of a boy. 

Bummed I couldn't work in Last Train to Clarksville cuz its been stuck in my head ever since I started this roundup.

* (I never include myself, but it totally fit)

_________________________
The regular hostesses of the MILP Roundup, currently, are:  Butterflyfish, Ptlawmom, Attorney Work Product, Attorney at Large, Kate (Today & Tomorrow), Magic Cookie (CM), and Reluctant Grownup.  Check here each week and I'll direct you to the post. Pinky promise!!

Rug still gone...

... but I'm ok.  Didn't even cry today.

I have an awesome husband, adorable kids, and a baby on the way.

I have some solid credentials, great references, excellent work experience, a working knowledge of civil litigation and a number of areas of substantive law on the civil side (and some substantive criminal law, though not so much on the crim procedure truth be told).

Once I know my status for certain, I have a good network of people that I can call on to start looking out for potential jobs for me.  Til then, I've decided I'm not going to worry til I know I have to.

I am super cute (ok, that's just because of the belly and therefore is temporary, but still).

It could just be that I ate pizza for dinner (yummm!! its been a while!!) and am high from the piece of left over Easter candy I ate for dessert (I have shown remarkable control with my allotted 5 Cadbury caramel eggs), but I feel more like counting my blessings than worrying about the unknown right now. 

Rug pulled

I've been happily awaiting my last day of work, which is tomorrow.  I haven't looked at this day with sadness or dread at all because, based on every discussion I had with my boss, I had a job to come back to.  I haven't said goodbye to anyone because I'm just going out on maternity leave... I'll be back in a few months.  And won't it be great!!  Yay!!

Today I was told that, well, maybe I won't have a job to come back to. 

I'll be blunt.  This fucking sucks.  I've made plans for daycare etc. starting in September on the promise of a secure re-start date.  Now, maybe not.  Now, maybe I have to spend my leave looking for a job.  And interviewing.  And potentially facing decisions like taking a job that starts before I was ready to return to work. And that's in the best case scenario... because the worst case scenario is that, come September, I won't have a job.

AND I'll have blown our (carefully built but meager) savings by paying for a part-time slot at Angelfish's daycare between now and September in order to assure full time spots for both girls come this fall.  Which, if I'm unemployed, I'll have to give up anyway.

Baby girl is coming on Wednesday, ready or not.  I was feeling a little not ready before my employment situation got turned upside down.  (A 'little not ready' =  Bullshark's on Reserves... I have the kids alone all weekend... what if I go into labor? ... I still haven't packed a bag... I'd better go through the newborn clothes and pick out the spring stuff... is there any spring stuff? ... how the hell do we generate this much laundry in two weeks?  Basically, a somewhat stressful, but manageable, situation.)

My employment was the one thing I wasn't worried about.
 
And now I kind of want to cry ... and I really don't want to go in tomorrow, feeling like I'm gonna cry.

___________________________________
(No, no, lawyer friends.  No violations of the law or anything here -- I still get every minute of my unpaid "leave" if I want it.  Its just that I have a term position... if I take my full leave, my term will expire while I'm out.  I was under the impression -- hell, I was told -- that I was coming back for another term. Today I was told that no decisions have been made.  So while it may all work out, nothing is as assured as I have believed that it was....)   

MILP #247

Attorney At Large had it. 

Goal for the week... post something other than MILP updates!!

Here next... I think!

MILP #246

Magic Cookie had it.

Attorney at Large is next.

Boo

Pregnancy with Angelfish, I had a scare that required an immediate ultrasound.  Too much fluid was suspected.  In the end, all was well. 

On Thursday, the nurse midwife suspected that I had too little fluid, but they couldn't do the ultrasound til today.  Again, something to do with my belly measurements being off. Ultrasound tech says everything looks fine... but for various reasons, I am far from reassured this time.  I'll talk to the doc on Wednesday at my appointment.

One thing that came out of this visit though is that this baby is going to be B-I-G.  She's already bigger than Angelfish was at term.  

More disjointed thoughts

Language pause.  Angelfish seems pretty content with her current expressive vocabulary.  She uses whining sounds to get attention and then uses the signs she learned in daycare to get what she wants ("more please").  If you say "do you want more?" She'll say Yah!  But she won't say more. Or please. Or thank you (though she used to).

Progress on the nesting/cleaning front.  There is a lot more room in my closets/drawers/floor since I whittled down five wardrobes to one.  Except for the pieces I need to get through the remainder of my pregnancy, I bagged up for donation anything size 20+ (wardrobe 1), size 18 (wardrobe 2), oversized maternity (wardrobe 3.)  I have out "normal maternity" and wardrobe 5, which is everything sized 14-16.  There is very little professional wear in the latter size... I had only started building that wardrobe last spring when I got pregnant.  But I have all summer to lose another size, and shop sales.

Today's goal is to pull apart Angelfish's room, box up the stuff that's too small or too warm for her, and stack it in one of the lovely containers my sister loaned me ... because we'll need it for Boo.

In-laws. Also, we are heading to visit my mother in law in the rehab center this afternoon.  My father in law will once again drone on about historically inaccurate facts that he recalls reading in some book (last time was about the Crusades) and will wonder why my seven year old looks bored, why my 14 month old keeps trying to run away, and why I look annoyed because my mother in law hasn't been allowed to speak more than six words for our entire visit.