The professional's lament (again*)

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers."

 ~ Randal Graves. (Clerks, film, 1994). 

I used to be a teacher. I left the profession for many reasons, not the least of which was my inability to leave my kids' problems at the schoolhouse gate.  I taught the damaged kids, the kids who were never sure what they were going home to, so why should they give a fuck about George Washington or fractions or reading at anything approaching grade level?  A friend I've known since high school, a history teacher as it happens, says that I never had a chance to just teach my content area, which was history.  She says that if I had, I never would have left.  I spent so much of my time managing crazy -- the parents' crazy, the kids' crazy, the administrators' pathological levels of crazy, hell, my own crazy -- that I rarely ever felt like I taught anyone anything.  Maybe if I could have spent less time managing the crazy and just, say, planned and executed fantastic lessons about the Battle of Long Island, I would have stayed. 

I didn't.  I left.  I became a lawyer.  And on a fundamental level, its the same damn thing.

No, not every attorney faces Attorney At Large's "Clients You Will Meet."  My interests tend to lay in areas of law that would bring me into contact with more corporate clients.  So I look at posts like this (Magic Cookie) and this (Alice) and any of a dozen posts by Lag Liv and I think, corporate clients have absolutely no need to respect their lawyers as people.  They can drop a demand on you on Friday at 5 p.m. and expect it Monday at 5 a.m.  Such clients may not make you cry with empathy, but that doesn't mean you don't cry.

I love being a lawyer.  I'd love to just do the job without all the bullshit that comes with it. Ok, yes, fine. The bullshit is part and parcel of the job.  That doesn't mean Randal doesn't have a point too.   

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* I had posted a post with this title and similar content for a moment, then took it down to make an edit, and then blogger ate it.  I drafted the original at 2 a.m. a couple of nights ago, though it posted later. This is my best effort at reconstructing it. I split whatever was in the original it over two separate posts because its taking so long.  You may have seen the other version in an RSS feed. Sorry.

MILP #258

Kate had the Roundup at Today Advocating Tomorrow.  Nicely done theme, too.

Next is Reluctant Grownup.

Booble

Booble. (BOO-bull). Noun.  Angelfish's word for boobies.

She is a little obsessed with mine, probably because I nurse. She likes pulling my shirt down and telling me, and anyone within earshot -- like the soccer moms at Clownfish's last game -- that I have boobies.  No, boobles.

She also loves tummies. She was obsessed with my baby belly, and loves showing off her buddha belly.  She still occasionally lifts my shirt and points to my belly, questioning. Like, hey, what happened to that watermelon looking belly you used to have? But I digress.

This story is about booble.  Let's set the stage.

Yesterday, Lionfish was relaxing in the papasan.*  Angelfish repeatedly walked over to her, attempted to hug her or pick her up and/or gave her a kiss on the head, and then ran over to me to hug my legs as I lavished praise on her for being "so gentle" and "so nice to the baby."  It was super sweet. 

One time, as I leaned over to lay some more hugs on her, Angelfish pulled down my shirt and said booble!

Me:  Yes. Mommy has boobies.
AF:  Booble! (lifts shirt)
Me:  No that's your tummy.
AF:  MY!!!! (lifts shirt)
Me: (lifts her shirt higher) Yes, you have boobies too... well you will, right here (points)
AF:  Booble! (looking)
Me:  Yes.
AF:  MY!!  (pointing)
Me:  Yes! Good job!
AF:  (Turns around, walks over to Lionfish and tugs on her onesie t-shirt, which is slightly bunched in the chest area)  [Lionfish] booble!!  
Me:  (On the floor, laughing)



________________________________
*Ours is less plush, but its close enough... we've owned ours since Clownfish.      

MILP #257

Proto had the Roundup at Attorney Work Product.

(Kate has it next.)

Lessons from my Dad

Dad is home for the moment, recovering, but has to get another procedure done in a few weeks.  Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.  It was and is really appreciated.  I prepared this for him for Father's Day.  Thought I'd share.

Ten Lessons from My Dad

10. If you start telling a story about Bob, and then remember his name is Fred, you should start over, using Fred.
9. Be curious about the world around you -- history, science, art, music, and politics are all valuable. Curiosity makes you seek out knowledge, and having knowledge makes you a more interesting person. 
8. In your morning paper, read the comics first.
7. Enjoy what you do for a living. It shows in your work, and makes Lesson #1 a lot easier.
6. A "good guy" (gender neutral) is someone whose balls you can bust, and who busts yours right back, and you still want to have a beer with at the end of the day. Be a good guy.
5. Know a few funny stories or jokes -- you'd be surprised at how humor can make social situations less difficult.
4.  If its awesome, it was probably invented or built or marketed or touched in passing by an Irish guy.
3.  Education is important, but without hard work and integrity, book learning won't get you very far.
2.  Love your family ... love them fiercely, and they will know it.  In your words and through your actions, in your fights and in your hugs, they will know.  
1. Always, always, always do your best work. Even if it means taking a loss on a particular job, always do your best. Your reputation is more valuable over the long term than any saved dollars on any one job.

Angelfish 17 months

Angelfish, now, in more Bullets of Awesomeness (compare with this post)

• She can do many more animal impressions, and says certain animal names (no no monkey! from 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed)
• She says and identifies eyes, nose, mouth/lips. She identifies others (hand, ear, stinky feet).
• She says mommy and papa regularly. 
• Still getting hugs ... now with kisses! 
• She's still a honey badger and still don't give a shit. 
• She still dances and loves the telephone.
• She signs and SAYS "more" and "please" and "all done" ... working on Thank You.  Finally says milk. And "bubble" (which I think is bottle.)
• The tantrums... the oh my god so dramatic tantrums.  Just... wow.  But she still recovers and moves on relatively quickly.  
• Word most often spoken:  UP-EEE.  Followed closely by MY!!!!! and NO NO MO!

I love this phase -- she's in full blown expressive language explosion.  When Lionfish cries, she says "[her word for LF] cry."  But if she falls and gets hurt, she says "Baby cry."  She also says "outside" and probably a dozen other words I'm not thinking of right now.

I also dread this phase. She's into absolutely everything. I find myself having to redirect her a whole lot, and even then, having to say NO a lot more than I'd like.  Generally, I try to save my elevated voice for safety issues, but it seems she gets herself into "OMG AAAAAAH" situations hourly, and she apparently thinks my reactions are hilarious.

She knows when she's in trouble, though, and she knows the quickest way out is to hold out her arms, say "mom-eee," and give me hugs and kisses.

Resume the resume

Ok, so I am applying for this job.  I have to get a copy of my transcript and write a cover letter, but the resume update is done. I'll have figure out which potential recommenders (is that a word?) to approach because I'm taking Magic Cookie's advice (i.e. don't list my current boss til later in this process). I should have it all done by the end of the week. I'll let you know if anything comes of it.

I have blogged in the past about the issue of class rank and GPA on resumes.  See, for example, here, where, in the comments, I stated:

There are two major law schools in my geographic area. My GPA at my school puts me in a good (though not omg wow) class standing. That same GPA at the other school would put me very low in the class indeed. My school: magna cum laude. Theirs: no honors at all. Really. Their grade inflation versus our hard core curve.

So yeah, folks from my school are apt to put class rank, at least the first few years out, just because we look less competitive than we really are.    

(Especially when jobs ask for transcripts. Ugh.)  

I am happy to say that, in 2012, I have officially removed all the bullshit from my shiny new "I'd like to be a real lawyer now, please" resume. No GPA or Class Rank at all.  Magna cum laude says it loudly enough, and my experience block (located above the education block) looks much more solid now.

Does it hurt to apply?

I last wrote about my career situation here.  I accepted an offer to return, but it would not be (seriously) burning a bridge if I changed my mind before my start date.  (It would be seriously burning a bridge if I started for another term and then bailed.)  That said, I'm not exactly advertising the fact that I occasionally look at job postings.... 

So... I am thinking of applying for a law firm job.  A firm has posted an opening for a new entry level associate, and unlike most job postings I've seen, I am qualified.  I am hesitant to apply for a number of reasons, not the least of which is their requirement that I provide my references (which I guess would include my boss) up front.  I would do it, though, if I were sure it was worthwhile to apply.
     
What I know:  Solid local reputation.  Most would consider it a small firm, but with about 18-20 attorneys, I would call mid-sized in my market. My only other firm experience is with a similar sized firm, so while I understand each firm has its own culture, I at least have some idea of what its like there.  Its office is minutes from my house.  I am interested in the practice areas listed in the opening, and what the firm does generally.      
Almost all of the lawyers graduated law school in the 1970s, or earlier, making them in their 50s or older.  The youngest lawyer, it appears, is exactly my age (based on the year he graduated college), but went to law school right out of college and therefore has been a working attorney for 12 years.  I don't think I have any connections there -- no one in my network, as far as I know at this point, knows anyone there who can give me more insight than I got from perusing the website.

What I don't know:  A lot. Salary. Billable requirement. Culture. How they'll view the fact that I have three kids, two very very young.  Can I generally expect to be home for dinner and put my kids to bed, and work in the evening if necessary? 

More importantly, if the answers to those questions are "best case scenario (law firm edition)" am I ready to climb onto the law firm treadmill?  Each position I've taken since law school has had an expiration date.  And while that has given me no small measure of trepidation, its also been an escape hatch:  if I hate this, I'm done in x months. I didn't hate it, but part of that was the "best case scenario" in hours / work-life balance, though the salary was always lacking.  And then I went and had two kids, so... ack, I don't know if I am able to take on "full time" employment if full time means 60-80 hours a week and a blackberry tether and never being able to make weekend plans again.

Also, if I decide to apply, do I mention the fact I'm on maternity leave in the cover letter?  In the interview?

MILP #256

Ptlawmom had the Roundup.

(Atty Work Product has it next.)

Interview with a Clownfish, age 7 and 3/4

I took the following questions from Interview With a Four Year Old, a post from 2008, and asked again.

Favorite color: black
Favorite food: corn, fish, & carrots
If you could only watch one television show: Beyblades
Favorite thing to do outside: play soccer
Favorite letter: E
Favorite number: 8
Favorite instrument to play:   recorder
Favorite after school snack: apple
Favorite lunchbox snack:  Cheezits
Dinosaur you'd most like to have live in our house: Maiasaurus. (Holy shit! He gave the same obscure dino answer!!!)

New questions:
Favorite baseball team (to watch):  Boston Red Sox
Favorite football team (to watch): New England Patriots
Favorite hockey team (to watch): Boston Bruins

 ... are you noticing a theme?

Heavily influenced by his father, he is.

He has started earning an allowance.  We very much subscribe to the theory that things that things he can do as part of his "family responsibilities" do not earn him a monetary reward -- like making his bed (which I don't enforce daily), putting dirty clothes in his basket, and putting away his laundry (with supervision).

But, every evening, after she goes to bed, Clownfish helps out by straightening up Angelfish's play area (beyond what we can get her to do herself ... which is very little).  It takes him less than 5 minutes a night and he does it while watching television, but it is very much not his mess.  So we decided that it deserves compensation ($1 a week.)  He can also earn a few dollars for big tasks, like helping with a major gardening project.  He has been saving his dollars and recently purchased another Beyblade.  And he had a lesson in taxes -- an $8.99 Bey is not $9 after all.

He's a good reader, but prefers math.  He does very well at academic stuff, but he'd rather be playing outside or tinkering with his Legos or Erector sets.  He is kind and gentle and funny and goofy and a bit of a smartass.  He's my first born, and I love him.

Stutter

Heart attacks can stutter.  A doctor can say things like, we've done four catheterization procedures... there is nothing more we can do... heart muscle damage is inevitable, and he's likely to suffer more attacks in the next few days.  And we can take this as good news, relatively speaking.  Not out of the woods, but no longer blindly crashing into trees while searching for an exit.

Dad

When we bought our house in August 2003, a few things were on our priority list.  There was a huge air conditioning unit in the dining room that didn't work. It was built into the wall, so removing it would leave a huge hole in the wall.  In Spring 2005 *, my Dad came up and he & my husband built a deck off the back of the house, and the a/c unit was replaced with a sliding door. 

Sunday, I was sitting out on the deck with my three kids.  Clownfish was kicking a ball against the siding and ostensibly, occasionally throwing the ball to Angelfish.  Angelfish was sitting at a blue plastic table we acquired forever ago from Ikea, covering the paper I taped to the surface in orange washable marker.  She got a fair share of marker on her legs, face, hands, the table and the deck too.  Lionfish was sitting in her carseat, being rocked by me, just out of the sun.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with a desire to talk to my Dad.  I wanted to thank him for the deck, and really, probably for ... well, everything.  I called and left him a message about us, the kids and the deck.  And I hoped he heard the "and everything" in the message.

His 70th birthday is this week.  He had his first heart attack before his 50th.  He had stents put in.  About 12 years ago, he had a 5-way bypass.  Last week, he had his annual blood work and EKG... everything looked good.  Doc told him to keep doing what he was doing.   

He was rushed to the hospital Sunday night / early Monday morning in cardiac arrest.  The rest of the details of the last few hours aren't important.  There is at least one procedure in his future, and everyone is hoping to avoid open heart surgery.  The important thing is, he's stable now.  I'll get to see him tonight.

And my mom did confirm he heard the phone message yesterday, so that is something. 

(Thanks to the Twitter folks who offered prayers / support today.  My family has not put this on Facebook, so I appreciated having an "anonymous" place to vent my worry and frustration and sense of impotence today.)
 
______ 
* Pretty sure it was Spring 2005.  Clownfish (born August 2004) was still nursing.

MILP #255: Not at all funky

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis among several blogs.  Next week is Ptlawmom.  We aim for Sunday posts.

I noticed a theme among many of the blog posts this week -- seems that some of the MILPs are in a funk of one kind or another.  This suggested a music theme, but I know about as much about funk as the Glee kids (umm...  they did Marky bloody Mark during the Funk episode, season 1).  I have also been in a bit of a funk lately -- blogging-wise, as well as on the career versus SAHM front. 

So instead of a theme, I'll just link to this video -- guaranteed to un-funk anyone.  Meep!  On to the Roundup.

Here's the funk:

• LEO and BigLawMommy burnout. 
• Legally Certifiable is overwhelmed, and can't see a way clear in the immediate future.
• Wild Northwest Litigator is in a blog funk, and struggling with the impending end of maternity leave.
• Izzie (only3years) is in a post-law school, SAHM, what comes next? funk.
• Atty Work Product has been in a blog funk, but made up for it (with pics!).
• Denei had a tough day at work (the post may disappear, so if the link doesn't work, you can also read this post in which she struggles as a newbie lawyer, but we all know she will come out on top with time and experience). 
• YouWillHaveABrightFuture is trying to unwind.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the MILPiverse...  

• Reluctant Grownup is finding some peace (and taking pics) during bar review. 
• LagLiv takes a much needed (though brief) family vacation (with pics!).
• as did Cowgirl in the City 
• and Frenchie (Mommy in Sin City).
• But I Do Have a Law Degree has a toddler showing his stripes and 
• Alice in Wonderland's son shows his nurturing side.
  

And finally, the kidspeak posts of the week:

• AndYouKnowWhatElse has a fucking awesome kid;
• Magic Cookie's son will fart at you; and
• Attorney At Large's daughter has an existential crisis.

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The regular hostesses of the MILP Roundup, currently, are:  Butterflyfish, Ptlawmom, Attorney Work Product, Attorney at Large, Kate (Today & Tomorrow), Magic Cookie (CM), and Reluctant Grownup.  We're awesome.