Butterflyfish

See, look, I'm posting again

2012-01-27T19:35:00.000-05:00

I passed my glucose tolerance test. Time for a cookie.

We are having dinner this weekend with this friend. Nope, I'm sure it won't be awkward at all. We've had it on the calendar for two weeks. I almost had to cancel to go to a wake.* I decided to avoid the drama and go to the wake on Sunday afternoon.

We're teaching Clownfish how to play Risk. Bullshark has decided that the best way to teach him how to play is for Bullshark to completely dominate the globe and do happy dances when he takes over a new continent. My last stand in Greenland occurred days ago. Bullshark offered to let Clownfish surrender and serve in his global army. Clownfish said no and fought to the last man. He finally lost his last battle in New Guinea. At least he had a nicer climate to defend.

* (Not someone I was close to personally, but a family friend.)

Should I go to law school?

2012-01-25T19:24:00.001-05:00

Proto Attorney and Dinei and CM posted these "should I go to law school / why I went to law school" posts, and suggested that others do it so applicants can see a range of experiences. Those three ladies are role models as far as knowing precisely what each was getting into, and what each wanted out of a legal career. You should read their posts. Also, you should read this post from Lag Liv on what it takes to steer your legal career toward your dream job.

Because I'm no role model. I stumbled about blindly and found myself happy. Unsustainably underpaid, yes. But, for the time being, happy.

I had always wanted to go to law school, but even now I can't give you concrete reasons as to why. I didn't know any lawyers growing up. I never worked with or for a lawyer. I definitely liked the idea of a profession where I'd get paid to think for a living... to problem-solve, but without the math. I didn't think about the business of law, or what kinds of clients I'd like to serve, or what the day to day of lawyering looked like. I just had this thought that I could go to law school, develop my skill set, and find a spot in the profession that worked for me.

When did I make the decision to apply? When we first moved here from Texas, one of my criteria was local grad school / law school. In my heart, I knew I was changing careers eventually, but wasn't sure what that would mean. Eventually, I took some time off from full time teaching. I gave birth to a Clownfish. I was working in the test prep industry and cobbling together a few part time jobs and tutoring. I was teaching LSAT prep. Learning how to teach LSAT prep was the most fun training I had done. Teaching the classes and hearing from people talk about why they decided to go to law school made me say "what's it hurt to take the test ... for real?" Next thing I knew, I was admitted to the only two schools in my market to which I applied, and the lower ranked school offered me a sweet scholarship.

There is an old saw about people who love law school actually hate lawyering. I loved law school. I mean, sure I bitched a helluvalot on this blog... it was challenging, it was different, it was an intrusion on the life my husband and I had built, and we didn't always handle the hurdles well, which was stressful. But I'd kind of love to have the chance to do it over, and enjoy it more ... and skip Labor Law and take Crim Pro this time.

I spent a lot of my 2L fall on the expected treadmill, stumbling through OCI interviews at law firms, clueless and uncomfortable at callbacks. (Many of those posts didn't survive the post-grad purge... sorry.) It was like I was trying to (literally and figuratively) look good in an ill-fitting suit. It didn't work. But I didn't have a particular passion for, say, advocating for children or criminal prosecution or securities law or real estate transactions. So I was the worst kind of job seeker... directionless, having some sense of what I didn't want and a vague sense of what I did.

Again, read the posts by the other bloggers, because they went in with their eyes wide open, and had a very good sense of what they were looking for.

I found the work that I do now almost totally by accident. And it is a perfect fit for me, at least for the time being. I'll write more about that in a separate post, to keep this from getting ridiculously long. I'm very, very lucky. But my advice to law school applicant is this: do your homework, have a sense of purpose, and don't count on dumb luck.

Angelfish, age 1

2012-01-23T22:42:00.000-05:00

This is a quickie post, but I needed to preserve some of these memories.

Angelfish turned one. She has started to say a few recognizable words. She has a giant stuffed tiger Clownfish gave her for Christmas.** She loves it -- she wrestles it and cuddles with it with her thumb in her mouth. And she calls it Tah-gur. She also says Hi.

She points to everything, as if she wants us to name it. It appears as if she likes to test to see if we consistently tell her the same answer each time she asks... yes, that magnet on the refrigerator is still a moose.

She currently is obsessed with Sandra Boynton's Oh My Oh Dinosaurs book. On the page where the dinosaurs sing a dinosaur song she does a little dance, and when the dinosaurs wave goodbye, she waves too. She has a specific sound that means "read this again please" that sounds a little bit like again. She'll make me read the book six or seven times in a row, and gets increasingly agitated with each reading, anticipating what will happen, wanting the pages to go faster. She'll start waving "bye" two pages before the end. I put the book back in her bookshelf in different places. Sometimes, she pulls out another book. But every day, she finds the dinosaur book. And we read it.

She has taken a few independent steps, but she is still just omgsoclose to walking. Sometimes she likes to stand in front of me while I read the dinosaur book to her, and she turns the pages and squats and stands. Its like a little workout while she's reading/listening.

Food frustrations abound. Sometimes she likes what we give her, but not in the order she's receiving it. A few more words in that expressive vocabulary will help.

** (No, its not Ian. He had more than one giant stuffed tiger. Thank you, in-laws.)

MILP #236

2012-01-23T11:48:00.001-05:00

Ptlawmom had it, even though she had planned to take a Roundup hiatus.

We really do have to figure out what we're doing here, soon. More on that... eventually.

Pregnancy update

2012-01-11T12:50:00.000-05:00

I'm seriously sad that this is my final pregnancy. I feel like I haven't been "enjoying it" or "appreciating it" as much as I should. Yeah, it was unexpected. And its hard to "navel gaze" about pregnancy when you've got a baby to contend with. But I've been making an effort lately to be in the moment, in the pregnancy, while I can.

In other news, my pregnancy acne is back. My face is all red and yucky. It is about the only thing I don't love about pregnancy. Yes, I know, according to WNWlitigator and others, this makes me mentally ill. :-) Its a very individual experience, but my experiences with pregnancy -- not childbirth, not the losses, not getting pregnant, but the physical state of pregnancy itself -- have been awesome. (Except for the acne. Oh, and the persistent nausea/vomit reflex.)

I'm finally using button extenders and my belly band -- on my size 16 pants. Heck, I can still wear some of my 14s with the button extenders. Victory is mine. (Last pregnancy I was rocking the 18/20s throughout, which was still an accomplishment, because I didn't have a net gain of any weight last pregnancy -- I was just much bigger when I conceived.) My weight has stayed pretty steady for the last 15 weeks or so, but my belly has grown.

In other words, I'm totally hawt and rocking my "bump revealing" maternity tops.

I'll try to get some pics of my hawtness up (maybe on FB?) this weekend... Angelfish turns 1 on Thursday.

MILP #235: Reality TV Show pitches

2012-01-10T20:45:00.000-05:00

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between Butterflyfish, Attorney Work Product and Attorney at Large blogs... and some players to be named soon! We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts. Yeah, I'm late.

I always say that I don't watch reality television, but the truth is that I am just really selective about the reality television I watch. Does Mythbusters count as reality? Cuz I watch that. Cooking competitions (Chopped? Top Chef?) Yes! Self-involved wanna be celebrity types? (Kardashians? Jersey Shore?) Hell to the No!! People bidding on storage lockers? Umm... I plead the fifth.

So I got to thinking... what if I looked at the blog posts from this week as a pitch for a new reality television show? Which ones would I watch? Let's find out...

Reluctant Grownup. Watch the weekly tribulations of fitness, vegetarianism and bar prep.
Nonsense & Frippery. Bar prep, teething Bosun and no sleep... hilarity is bound to ensue.
Lag Liv. A Biscuit explores the world of shoes, starting with ruby red stilettos.
PtLawmom. Looks forward to good things in 2012, including more sex.
Cowgirl in the City... at the rodeo with a baby! Cows in the urban environs. Moo!
Fumbling for Truth. Attempting to communicate with an 11 month old one meal at a time.
LEO. Food wars.
Izzie. Adventures in birthing in foreign countries.
Wild Northwest Litigator. She's back to litigating, and now with a view!
SammieB. Inchstones and imagination.
L C. Quilts, plays the flute, exercises... and (maybe) ignores her mom.
Magic Cookie. Setting limits and saying no (a must see for the overachievers!)
SuzieJd searches for a legal job after Biglaw, and practices her negotiating skills with her teenage daughters

Truth? I'd probably watch all of them! How about you?

If you are a regular blogger in the MILP circle, and would like to help host the weekly roundup, please let us know. Drop a comment or email or facebook message... we'll reach out with a schedule ... maybe later this week-ish?

A little blue

2012-01-06T20:14:00.000-05:00

Things I haven't been blogging about...
... my good friend got drunk at New Year's and, completely uncharacteristically, went off on me about how I've been too busy to hang out and I don't make enough of an effort to be a good friend. When her husband tried to intervene she said "no, I've been saying this to you for years... its time she knew." So... clearly not just a drunk tirade. It went on for a while, and I didn't say much. The whole thing was hugely upsetting for many reasons -- some of it was probably fair and true, which made me sad, and some of it was unfair and untrue, which made me mad, but I wasn't arguing with her at that moment -- and the whole thing has really thrown me.

... Work is good. I think something that I worked on is gonna get reversed on appeal. I mean, my part in it wasn't huge, and I have nothing to do with what happens in the appeal, but I don't like the idea of being "wrong." I mean, it could be upheld too. Time will tell. But I have a bad feeling about it.

... Angelfish is omgsoclose to walking. She may have taken three steps at daycare today. I may pretend that didn't happen.

... There is a CLE I really really really want to attend. They're bringing in a speaker that I might never have the opportunity to see otherwise. But its an all day thing, about a week of my due date, and its pretty expensive. Logistically, probably not gonna happen.

... I am a little panicked about summer. I'll be home with a newborn, an 18 month old, and an almost 8 year old. The girls, I can make work. But my son is going to want to go places, like the beach or a pool. Most of his friends will be at day camps, so I can't count on play dates. And I don't think, with me not working, we'll be able to afford camp for him. So what this comes back to is what it always feels like it comes back to for me these days... money. It gets me down sometimes.

So... not spiraling in a pit of depression or anything -- lots of blessings: 25 weeks pregnant; days away from Angelfish's first birthday; everyone is reasonably healthy -- but not been feeling my best either.

MILP #234

2012-01-03T20:36:00.000-05:00

Atty Work Product broke the hiatus.

If you are a regular blogger in the MILP circle, and would like to help host the weekly roundup, please let us know. It's time for some new blood! (Some of us old blood need a break.)

If we have like 8 of us, I'll only have to come up with a theme every other month... meaning I might actually do it :-)

Snippets

2011-12-23T06:59:00.000-05:00

Senior Partner hears my hacking cough. Him: "You should try tea with brandy. I may have some in my desk."
Me: "Umm... I'll stick with honey, actually. I'm expecting after all."
Him: "Oh right. And forget I said anything about the brandy."

* * *

My seven year old son runs with a good crowd. He and two of his friends each checked out a copy of Shel Silverstein's A Light in the Attic from the school library, so they all read it at the same time. Clownfish has also read "The Missing Piece" and I own pretty much the whole collection, so Clownfish has plenty to keep him busy over the break.

* * *

If you have a last name that is a common enough first name like Xavier, isn't it nuts to give your son a first name that looks like a last name? There's a kid in my daughter's daycare named the equivalent of Murphy Xavier.

Sick day

2011-12-21T09:39:00.000-05:00

Woke up late after being up coughing most of the night. Again. Contemplated taking a half day, going in late, rest a little and doing a little clean up this morning in advance of Christmas. Then I walked into Angelfish's room to find her playing with last night's dinner, which she had thrown up at some point during the night. She's in reasonably good spirits and has no fever, but I guess I'm staying home today... without the rest.

Coming out redux

2011-12-18T17:06:00.000-05:00

Last time I told work I was pregnant, I had a wonderfully inappropriate response from a supervisor.

This time she said: "Ok... so, its too late now, but after you have this one, you and I have to have a serious discussion about your family planning options."

MILP #233

2011-12-13T18:31:00.002-05:00

Atty At Large had it.

Angelfish, almost eleven months

2011-12-10T07:50:00.002-05:00

SLEEP!!! My God glorious glorious SLEEP! She has finally finally learned to sleep through the night. Ever since Thanksgiving, she has slept from about 7 p.m. through at least 4 a.m. and often as late as 6 a.m. I am getting more than 4 consecutive hours of sleep at night for the first time since January. Thank you, thank you for blessed sleep. I know it will all change again in April, so I am grateful to have it now.
That said, she and I have less time together now. And that makes me sad.

She associates my arrival home with dinner time. Evening routine is now pretty much dinner, play, bottle, change, bed. I tend to bathe her in the mornings because we like our evening play time. Our mornings tend to be a little harried, but not too bad because my commute is much shorter than it was last year. She gets a little Clownfish play time most mornings while I get dressed. My getting dressed is pretty much the last thing on the morning "to do" list. I really hope I don't forget that step one day and hop into the car with my hair in a towel and body wrapped in a bathrobe. Clownfish would probably let me do it, too.

Angelfish points to people. It makes her happy when you touch her finger with yours and say "E.T."

Snaggletooth is no more. She cut two more on top. Her six-tooth smile is still kind of the lop-sided jack-o-lantern variety, and I love it.

They're trying to teach her some baby sign at the daycare center. They say she's pretty good at it there. I'm trying to reinforce "more" and "all done" at home. Occasionally she'll do it, with prompting. Really. But more often, her sign for "more" is to yell and slam her hands on the high chair, and "all done" is throwing food on the floor.
Still pulling herself up on furniture, and has finally started to employ some horizontal cruising. Otherwise, she drops down and crawls and pulls up to a new spot when she needs to move. Her favorite activities involve banging things together and/or onto tables while standing.

This morning, for the first time, she let me read her a book without having to hold onto/chew another book/toy. She also helped me turn the pages and touched and pointed to things as we went through.

Today, she's got a runny nose and a doctor's appointment because we suspect pinkeye. Yuck.

Note: This post was written over the course of about two weeks... so you'll see the food stuff is inconsistent as she goes from enjoying new things to tasting stuff & then throwing it because she'd prefer fruit.

She loves loves to try new food. Bullshark took us out for Korean food for a treat -- I gave her just about everything that wasn't wicked spicy or raw fish, and she loved it. Sticky rice and dumplings for the win. We've fed her some Mexican and Italian-type food at home, also successfully. Thanksgiving food was a huge hit. Turkey, sweet potatoes, peas, mashed potatoes.... yum. I took her out to brunch with one of my friends and ordered a Cobb salad, and instead of eating the baby food I brought for her, she pretty much ate everything that makes that salad good -- avocado, boiled egg, cheese, chicken, tomato pieces. I enjoyed eating the plain Romaine... really.

The downside of broadening her baby palate is she completely rebels at plain baby oatmeal now. Sticks out her tongue, spits it out. Add a little cinnamon, though, and its game on. Same with plain pasta -- she wants a little tomato sauce or butter & basil. Also, cheerios have lost some of their appeal, probably because they're boring-flavored. She'll still eat them, but I have to give her some fruit or something yummy first, and then she'll snack on cheerios begrudgingly while I try to make her lunch or cram some breakfast down my throat.

She's also started to rebel against baby food in general, which stinks because we've taken to relying on one pureed dinner jar a day to ensure she gets protein and veg. Canned fruit and eggs are pretty much our staples now. Lately she's rejected most of whatever Bullshark has made for dinner, and I end up improvising. But I'd rather her have a full belly so she sleeps. Sleep!!

Also, Bullshark bought some of those overnight super-absorbent diapers because, now that she's not getting a middle of the night diaper change, she wakes up soaked to the skin all over.

Two words: Epic. Fail.

hey, remember when I passed 2 bar exams?

2011-12-07T04:47:00.002-05:00

I'm (hopefully) getting admitted to state 2 today.

Provided I can get there in time and pass the interview.

Woo?

For sale

2011-12-05T05:31:00.000-05:00

My sister overheard this exchange and felt the need to call me and tell me.

My Mom, to my Dad: Did you tell [my maternal uncle, Dad's golfing buddy] about Butterflyfish's big news?
My Dad: Nah, I didn't mention it. But I'm sure he knew already.
Mom: How would he know?
Dad: Well didn't she put the baby up on eBay?
Mom: I think you mean the Spacebook.

MILP #232: The Balancing Act

2011-12-04T12:32:00.004-05:00

First, a shout out to Miss K -- congratulations on the birth of Clara Margaret! Why, yes she did have to send work emails from the hospital.
Fumbling for Truth. "How do you possibly juggle a demanding job with two small children?"
Sammie B. "I always wonder if I'm failing at this parenting thing. I always feel imperfect."
But I do have a law degree... Trying to find the balance through part-time work.
Lag Liv. Adjustments, including the "job, which had been a consistent positive, finally threw me into a brick wall of hours, travel, and (low) morale." (And pictures!)
Cowgirl in the City. That is a helluva commute.
Googiebaba. I could not possibly sustain the balance if I had to give up the D&D.
Atty Work Product. Taking on the additional challenge of home cooking.
Atty at Large. Family holiday balance
SuzieJD. Blog life balance.
LC. Picture time
WNW Litigator is litigating again
Only 3 Years. Plans derailed by kiddo illness
Today & Tomorrow. Law school finals
GAL for the Job. Representing children, raising children... now gestating! Congrats!!

__________________________
If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at any of our sites. Expecting moms in law school and attorneys are welcome.

Conversation with one of my favorite Tweeps

2011-12-03T13:50:00.000-05:00

butterflyfish1: Baby kicking, like whoa!
emcpan: Kick back!
butterflyfish1: I'd kick the baby back if it was the baby outside my tummy, but since its the inside baby, I'm just not flexible enough to kick back.
emcpan: Put baby shoes on your hands and lightly tap your tummy and then say "now you know how it feels."

_____________________________
(Links go to her twitter account and blog respectively.)

Compliment

2011-12-02T19:50:00.000-05:00

I was trying to explain a really complicated matter to one of the people I work for, and he said that I was brilliant and that I had a great memory for detail.

That made me happy.

Whoooooa, we're half way there!!!

2011-12-02T06:46:00.002-05:00

Twenty weeks today.

MILP #231

2011-11-30T06:24:00.000-05:00

Attorney Work Product had the Roundup. Here next!

Reacting badly

2011-11-29T06:32:00.003-05:00

What?
It couldn't have been planned!
Didn't your doctor tell you to wait?
How are you going to afford another baby?
I thought you were done...?
Why am I the last to know?

My mother's reaction to the news that I am pregnant. Notice the words congratulations & happy are absent from her initial barrage. My sister has about half of it on video. But she didn't really get the initial facial reaction. It can only be described as fury. It probably confused the hell out of Clownfish, who was otherwise so proud of himself for making the big announcement.

It took a couple of days. But she seems to have accepted it now, and has learned to put on a smiley face.
I'll take it.

MILP #230

2011-11-23T06:08:00.001-05:00

Ptlawmom had the Roundup, here.

Sockless

2011-11-20T04:41:00.000-05:00

Angelfish has an aversion to socks. She pulls them off the second I put them on. When she wears tights, she pulls and yanks at every opportunity. When I pull the tights off for a diaper change, she is so excited, she puts both feet into her mouth in celebration. Makes diapering difficult, that.

Moreover, she sees it as her mission to free all babies of the world from the confines of socks. Or at least, the smaller not-yet-mobile babies in her daycare center. She'll crawl over and tug on their socks until redirected to a chew toy or something loud to bang on a table.

She's in the early stages of cruising, so I am afraid to put any shoes on her that would affect her ability to get her balance. Currently my attitude is, meh, live and let live. Let her be barefoot baby.

But with winter coming, I'm open to suggestions!

It's a....

2011-11-18T18:54:00.000-05:00

GIRL!!

(Ok, in all honesty, I was hoping for another boy. But it was only a tiny twinge of disappointment that ~~is quickly evaporating~~ has evaporated with the relief that I feel since all appears to be healthy and fine.)

I plan to tell work soon -- I need to work in the main office to tell them in person. They'll be thrilled and supportive though, so I'm not worried. Telling Clownfish this weekend, and telling the folks on Thanksgiving. I guess after that, I'm out. Well, it is not official til its on Facebook... right? Next week then.

MILP #229

2011-11-14T06:37:00.002-05:00

Attorney At Large #occupies the Roundup.

Stolen Lines

2011-11-13T11:19:00.001-05:00

After hanging up the phone, I stood for awhile looking out my window and wondering if I should have told him no.

My fiancee was already living in a tiny little town in south Texas. He was stationed there with the Navy. I had just quit my very first teaching job. Rather, I finished out the school year, and turned down their offer to return the following fall. It felt like quitting, and like jumping without a parachute. I was moving halfway across the country to a town that had two stop lights and more churches than restaurants... possibly more churches than families. I had blanketed south Texas schools with my resume, but who there was going to hire a Yankee second-year teacher with creds like mine? No one in my own state had ever heard of my undergrad institution. Small liberal arts Catholic college on full scholarship for the win?   History major. Education 7-12 certification. Hmmm... maybe there would be a bookstore that would hire me when I got there...

And then I got the call. From the principal of the middle school of that very same small town.

A few resume questions. And then... Would you be willing to teach special education? 7th and 8th grade?

I had never taught special education. I was completely unsure what kinds of questions to ask in response to this. Later I would learn that it would have been appropriate to ask whether the classes were self-contained, what kind of kids under the "special ed" umbrella were we talking about -- students with learning disabilities? emotional disturbance? intellectual disabilities? an autism spectrum disorder? students who really shouldn't be receiving special education services but since no one else can deal with them they found a way to classify them to get them out of the "main stream" classes?

Had I asked these questions, the answer would have been simple: Yes.

And that was my answer... yes. I thought: I'm young. I'm smart. I'm willing to learn. I can make it work. I was excited to be employed, to have a plan, to take on this challenge.

We talked about other things, a start date (surprisingly early!) and other details that I don't remember. I recall thinking how fast it was all happening, and how I was going to have to get a plane ticket, stat, which would be a pain and probably expensive. (This was before the Internet was in every home, kids.) I was also thinking, Bullshark is at sea... how the hell am I gonna get into his apartment and move in?

And then, right as we were wrapping up the phone call, he dropped this question on me, in a tone that suggested that he knew that the answer was a foregone conclusion:

By the way, would you be willing to be the pep squad / cheerleader sponsor for the junior high girls?

After hanging up the phone, I stood for awhile looking out my window and wondering if I should have told him no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stole this line from page 220 of Rules of Civility by Amor Towles

DaisyJD brought back the Law With Grace classic. This is my contribution. My prior foray into stolen lines can be seen here. (I always liked #6).

Ten Months

2011-11-11T09:12:00.000-05:00

Angelfish claps when she's happy. She claps when I pick her up from her crib. She claps when she sees her brother. She claps for Cheerios. She also slams her hands down on her high chair tray ... her sign for "I'm out of Cheerios." Cheerios are important.

We're in the "chop food up into tiny pieces and see if she'll eat it" phase. Bananas, yes. Apples, she shoves them up into her chipmunk cheeks and then gags. For such a pro with Cheerios, you'd think the texture wouldn't be a problem. Veggies? Hit or miss. They're not Cheerios, after all. Fortunately, she'll eat anything you feed her off of a spoon, so she's getting a good variety.

She hits her head with her hand when she is tired. If you miss that sign, she'll rub her eyes. If you bring her to her crib when you see the signs, she'll gratefully pop her thumb in her mouth, turn onto her belly and head off to sleep. Woe to you if you miss the signs. She sleeps ok at daycare. But anywhere that's not a crib -- car seat, stroller -- she has more difficulty.

She loves blocks and cups -- anything she can attempt to stack, shake, carry, and most importantly, slam together. She loves to pull herself up to stand by furniture. Apparently standing and banging things together is sooo much cooler than doing it while sitting. My sister loaned us a toy piano -- perfect height for standing and banging. It is possibly her favorite thing since Cheerios.

She hates having her nose wiped, which is unfortunate because she's pretty much had a runny nose since she was 4 months old. Meh. Daycare. Its one of the only things that will elicit a real, hard cry from her.

She loves baths. (My son hated baths at this age... it was trauma. It is so nice not to have this fight.)

She has a lot of personality, and she's starting to make her very strong opinions known about things. I can only see this as the beginning of trouble... in the best possible way.

Substance

2011-11-09T21:09:00.000-05:00

I haven't gone through this long of a blog drought in a while, so I figured I should post something to get started again.

Work is ... whether product liability defendant can seek common law indemnification against a non-product liability co-defendant under a particular statutory scheme... whether the exclusion in the insurance contract means there is no duty to indemnify... whether a guy can show aggrievement from the denial of a permit when he's self represented and the the permit is in the name of his sole proprietor corporation... whether the guy who pleaded guilty to escape sex offender registration status has to register anyway... whether seasonal employee who quit because he was hired back at lower wage could collect unemployment... whether a district's voting scheme violates the Constitutional guarantees for equal protection... whether the prison employee is immune from suit of a prisoner who sued claiming the employee stole his soap.... In short, it continues to be varied and challenging and interesting.

Angelfish has three teeth on the bottom and one tooth on top, but the top tooth is off to the right. It is not one of the two front teeth. So she has the funniest lop-sided smile -- I call it snaggletooth. It won't be like this for long. She had a fever and stayed home with Bullshark one day this week. I was jealous of him. She's so huggy when she's not feeling her best.

Clownfish ran a half mile race against a bunch of other kids -- about half the field was his age or older -- and he came in first place. He's been going to Bullshark's gym. He's been trying to climb one of those knotted ropes with some success. He can jump onto an approximately 20 inch box. Yeah... he's not getting any raw athletic ability from my genes. But he reads like a demon and has freckles on his nose, so I feel as if I've contributed in some way to his awesomeness.

I'm 16 weeks pregnant or so. Nausea and strong gag reflex still going strong. I find out the gender in two weeks. I'm feeling girl. I'm kind of hoping boy. We're pretty settled on a boy name. Really up in the air for a girl name. All the ones I (presently) like are either taken by close family or have negative associations among close family. I'll probably have to "come out" at work soon too. Not nearly as anxiety-producing this time, though.

What's anxiety-producing is whether we can afford for me to take time off... and whether, with the cost of daycare already eating half of my meager salary, we can afford for me to go back to work.

MILP #228 There is No Theme

2011-11-08T06:50:00.000-05:00

he Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, Attorney Work Product and Attorney at Large blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

Only 3 Years. Productive Halloween
Sammie B. "Trick or treat! Thank you!! YUM!!"
SuzyJD. Ballet... or not
Wild Northwest Litigator. Epic Halloween costume.
Nonsense & Frippery. "What would it be like to just feed the baby and have it be easy, then watch the baby grow and have that be easy, too?"
Jenny. An expensive conversation with a raisin.
PtLawmom. "Your boobs have really gotten big since Baby J was born."
Better Together. Leaving LA
But I do Have a Law Degree. Halloween
Attorney at Large. Returning to law... oh right, daycare.
Mommy on the Floor. "One fall, I decided I was going to become a saint. I prayed myself into a frenzy and refused to eat."
Legally Certifiable. Lawyers can be such jerks.
Magic Cookie. More Halloween & baby
And you know... baby attack
Lag Liv. Halloween at work!

Ok then. Sorry so late and if I missed anyone.

MILP #227

2011-11-02T06:37:00.001-04:00

Atty Work Product had it. Here next.

Snowtober

2011-10-29T18:22:00.000-04:00

It is snowing.
Baking apple pie.
Then cookies.
Then making kettle corn and hot chocolate.
Clownfish wants to go sledding.
I think not.
Gonna watch some Mythbusters or something family friendly on cable.
I don't intend to be otherwise productive today.
I mean... seriously.

GRRRRR!!

2011-10-28T18:39:00.000-04:00

My mother in law has been in the hospital for going on 10 weeks now. She's been in a transitional nursing home situation twice, only to end up back in critical care. She lives almost two hours from our house. Nonetheless, my husband, who already has an almost hour commute the other direction every day, has driven out to see her several times a week through all of this. He calls and checks in daily with either her or father in law. He also checks in with his sister, a nurse, who lives many hundreds of miles away, to make sure she's getting to same information that he is. He has been the listening post/venting board for his mother, who gets so upset with the doctors and with FIL... he has also listened to hours of rants from FIL, and has heard his share from his sister and his brother through all of this. He's been keeping it together about as well as anyone can be expected in the circumstances, while still doing his job, his Navy stuff, the lion's share of the cooking and being the primary parent in charge until I get home at 6 p.m. each night.

So right now, my father in law leaving a long rambling message on our answering machine about how "nice" it would be if Bullshark had a chance to go out and visit her "sometime...", even though he was there on Monday, is just chafing my ass.

OMG! GRRR!!! (I am still liveblogging this very lengthy phone message...)

Just because she gets mad and yells at you, FIL, does not mean she has dementia! You keep asking the doctors. They keep telling you that between the meds and the dialysis and the loss of orientation that comes with lengthy hospital stays, a little confusion is normal. So stop telling everyone she has dementia! I don't know what you hope to gain by that.

ARGH. Now he's using his patronizing voice to say what a "good girl" she was when she ate all her lunch today. No wonder she gets furious with him.

The digital recorder on my answering machine actually cut him off. It apparently had reached its limit as well.

_____________________________________
This has been an uncensored rant about my in-laws. You may now return to your regularly scheduled blog reading.

MILP #226

2011-10-24T18:22:00.000-04:00

Ptlawmom had it. Here in two weeks. Rock on.

Unicorns and the Tooth Fairy and ...

2011-10-23T09:34:00.000-04:00

... a stay at home mom who wants to watch babies for free.

Category: Things that only exist in the delusional mind of a co-worker who doesn't have any children.

Context: She's thinking of having kids and returning to work, and asked how I did. I mentioned that the cost for quality daycare was out of control, but you suck it up and pay it. She has an alternate plan: to find this fictional magical mommy. Good luck with that. And take a picture of the unicorn, when you find her, because I've always wanted to see one.

Today

2011-10-16T18:28:00.003-04:00

Bullshark had to take a class and then visit his mom in the hospital.

I took the kids to a local fall festival at a farm.

Clownfish used some old timey farm equipment that really looked like it could take a hand off. He used a slingshot to shoot some apples into a lake and crushed some more apples for cider.

I was stung by a bee.

We saw a rare Australian river turtle, some very large snakes, some very old turtles and other assorted "rescued" animals. (People are idiots).

Clownfish held a red eyed tree frog. Camera wasn't charged. Mommy fail.

I noticed so many omg pregnant women there. I'm not showing yet. I was totally jealous of the baby bellies.

We also saw some some goats, moo cows and a llama. Angelfish did not ask if the llama was her mama, despite our reading the book a dozen times. On a related baby-talk front, I believe that she has clearly identified me as Mama, Bullshark as Papa and Clownfish as Buhbuh. Ok, fine, maybe she makes those verbalizations in a random pattern. I think she's talking. Thbbth.

Near the exit, there were some art pieces -- large, metal geometric shapey pieces.

Clownfish said to me:

I don't get public art.*
That piece looks like Chinese for goodbye.

I love that kid.

* This is a quote from Phineas and Ferb.

MILP #225

2011-10-16T16:36:00.000-04:00

Hymn at Atty At Large.

This post will self-destruct

2011-10-12T21:53:00.001-04:00

(aww, you missed it!)

"Get this silly hat off me.... Ok, I'll do it myself."

~ Angelfish

MILP #224: Autumn

2011-10-10T15:58:00.001-04:00

Geeky Lawmom. Morning run.
Lag Liv. Playing outside.
Nonsense & Frippery. Playground perils.
Divine Miss K. Somber passings.
The GAL for the Job. Fall cold.
In a minute... Another fall cold, and disappointment.
Jenny. New semester.
- R -. Say pajamas... fire... all sorts of fall things.
Magic Cookie. Long weekend.
Googiebaba. Apple picking, apple pie.
Legally certifiable. Magic, and magic lost.
Reluctant Grownup. Football.
Attorney At Large. Contemplating career options.
Only 3 Years. Dry skin.
But I do have a law degree... Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Today and Tomorrow. 1L fall priorities.

Though she didn't post this week, happy first anniversary to PTlawmmom.

(Also, there is finally a Baby Boo baby ticker on this blog. Pregnancy is progressing.)

________________________________
If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at any of our sites. Expecting moms in law school and attorneys are welcome.

Define jerk

2011-10-08T17:05:00.000-04:00

We had a tragedy in our neighborhood last night.

While I understand news people have to do their jobs, when I tell them (nicely) no comment, I mean GTF off my lawn. Not "please see this as an invitation to throw a few more questions at me." "Would you just confirm...?" No. I understand you think you're "not being a jerk" and "just doing your job." Turning off the camera isn't changing my answer. I'm not telling you my neighbors' business, which I thought I made clear with my initial "no comment."

Also, my baby is crying, so you kind of are being a jerk.

MILP #223

2011-10-05T06:19:00.000-04:00

was at Atty Work Product.

Here next!

In other news, I am 36. I had such a lovely birthday, considering it was a work day.

Angelfish, almost 9 months

2011-10-02T14:06:00.000-04:00

Gross motor. Crawling like a maniac. Successfully pulls herself up on furniture. Oh yeah, I am in trouble. She even does some rudimentary cruising, but it usually results in a fall because she moves the top part of her body, but doesn't always remember to move her feet a corresponding distance. Can transition from sitting to crawling, but not from crawling/belly position to sitting.

Eating. She is eating cheerios and other finger food. Her pincer grasp still needs work, but the "stick it to my soggy fist and cram it in my mouth" method seems to work pretty well.

One tooth. Very little hair. Huge, gummy smile. Sleeps with her thumb in her mouth. Clownfish is her hero.

Loves peek-a-boo, chewing on books, hair pulling, and trying to eat my shiny silver necklace. She really seems to understand some basic verbal-only commands (like "clap your hands" "peek-a-boo" "so big"), but when she doesn't respond, its hard to tell if she doesn't get it, or gets it but is not in the mood.

Still a baby with a very sunny disposition, content to play with her toys so long as she is fed and rested.

We sing lots and lots of silly songs to her, usually pop songs with alternate lyrics that we make up on the spot.
Clownfish made up alternate lyrics to Foster the People's Pumped Up Kicks.

"All the other babies with the pumped up diapers better run, better crawl, faster than my baby.... All the other babies with the pumped up diapers better crawl, better run, outrun my girl."

I like his version better.

Things I've learned this week

2011-10-01T15:29:00.001-04:00

I was officially not "good enough" on paper to make it to the interview stage for a particular job I had applied for. Meh. Rejection sucks. But I'm over it.

The lawyer who treats closing arguments in a trial on damages only as an opportunity to read to the jury "excerpts" from the medical records (again) (they're full exhibits) is the lawyer getting 1/3 of a whopping $4000 payout.

A Clone Trooper costume (consisting of a cheap polyester tunic, plastic mask, and blaster gun) costs over $42.

I do *not* use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer. It only SEEMS that way based on all available evidence.

Sesame Street Glee Parody. So, so good.

MILP #222

2011-09-26T06:14:00.000-04:00

Ptlawmom had it.

Wow, I didn't post all week. Huh.

MILP #221

2011-09-18T19:41:00.002-04:00

Atty at Large had it. Wish I could send her some tissues and chicken soup.

Updates

2011-09-17T22:19:00.000-04:00

Clownfish sports update...

Clownfish moved into the next soccer age group -- he and his teammates are the youngest kids in the league. His team was routed today -- something like 7-0 and they pulled the other team's goalie halfway through. Apparently, they put all the young kids on one team. The other team looked like giants in comparison. Nice job, commish. I hope the whole season isn't like this. I hope we play at least one other team that stacked young. I mean, it is good for him to be challenged, and good for him to lose... but if every game is just a beating, it will cease to be fun.

Two notes for the baby book....

She finally, after 8 months, cut her first tooth on Friday. Clownfish was the one who discovered it.
Today she started a spontaneous game of peek-a-boo. She was in her car seat in a shopping cart. She kept picking up a blanket, putting it over her face, and pulling it down quickly.... and laughing. She has done it in the past once or twice, and I've played peek-a-boo with her, but this was the first baby-initiated, much-repeated game I've seen her do.

In career news...

I applied for a job. It was a long shot, but I really thought that I had a shot for at least an interview. It appears I was wrong. I'm ok about it -- Baby #3 ("Pea" and/or "Boo" in utero) complicates things anyway. But I did get it in my head I would at least make it to the interview stage. Silly me.

(I have yet to be officially rejected. Unofficially....)

In husband news...

Bullshark had a disappointing career development. The upside is, he won't have to travel as much next year as we thought he might have to. Which, with Boo, is probably a good thing. Sucks to see him disappointed, but he said that things work out the way they're supposed to.

I'm beginning to think there is something to that.

Ultrasound

2011-09-16T18:46:00.001-04:00

Heartbeat and arm buds and leg buds and movement and HOLY COW! There is definitely someone home in there! Someone who has made me gain 15 pounds in 9 weeks, apparently. Gonna have to get that under control, stat.

MILP #220: In Her Own Words #7 and the Deathly Hallows (Pt. 1)

2011-09-11T21:08:00.001-04:00

"I barely even believe that electrons exist, so don’t even bother trying to explain subatomic particles to me." - R-
"It probably didn't help that I hadn't worn a shirt to bed that night." Nonsense & Frippery.
"Wake me up if I'm gonna die." Today & Tomorrow.
"I have totally forgone even using tissues and have been slowly making my way through an entire roll of toilet paper during class." Only 3 Years.
"There are a million things I could be doing, but instead I'm going to take a little 'me' time." Fumbling for Truth.
"I'm just not sure how much longer I can do this." Magic Cookie.
"I didn't even need to ask favorite what-- it's just favorite anything." Lag Liv.
"I instantly fell in love with that peanut shaped thing on the screen." WNW Litigator.
"I was particularly struck with the way they got along with each other." Suzy JD.
"We start out feeling lost on this journey, and over time, we thrive." Sammie B.
"Discovered I can't join the rest of the residents of my state in becoming a pill head . . . ." Proto.
"I’m not sure if I picked the right weekend or the wrong weekend to give up caffeine . . . ." Atty At Large.

I take this opportunity to repeat something I said on this day last year:

Today, I spent a little time reflecting on my own life. I then spent some time virtually visiting with the MILPs -- I am so blessed to be part of this community of women, women who kick-ass. So I guess spent some time this morning thinking and reflecting. I am thankful. I am sad. I am hopeful. I pray for those we lost, those left behind, those who fight and those who work for peace. And I remember.

Piercing the blogger veil

2011-09-09T10:04:00.019-04:00

I am back at work today. I am working at the same place that I did when I graduated law school. I am somewhat conflicted about the decision, in terms of both my career trajectory and my general conflict with the idea of putting Angelfish back in full time daycare when a decent sized part of me just wants to be a SAHM... at least for a while longer. She is such squishy, wonderful baby!

I have always had difficulty blogging about my job. Chalk it up to an overabundance of caution. But I love my job, I do. Indeed, it is a big part of who I am now. I'm generally really very happy in my work. I'd like to tell innocuous stories, but it gets hinky ... do I just call everyone Bob? So much is lost in the translation, and prior feeble attempts have resulted in confusing posts. I am going to try something different this year. The structure of my current work environment is similar enough to that of a law firm that I think I may as well start blogging in those generic terms. I didn't want to throw long time readers for a loop when I start talking about name partners, senior associates and fellow associate underlings. So consider this your glimpse behind the blogger veil.

Brain crumbs

2011-09-07T08:49:00.000-04:00

I return to work on Friday. I have so much to do between then and now, and all I want to do is play with the squishy baby. Also, I want to nap, because squishy baby has forgotten how to sleep. I've gotten more excited about my pregnancy and have started considering names. My son and daughter each have a name that begins with the same two letters. It wasn't planned that way, and I am pretty sure that we won't continue the trend for #3. I think we're solid on a boy name -- the one we picked for Angelfish had she been a boy. But if its a girl...? Sooo many options.... Bullshark still likes our #2 name for Angelfish. I'm... less enamored with it right now. Clownfish made his own lunch this morning and was so proud of himself. Hope he wants to do it every morning -- that would be awesome. He is such a good boy. I have to get myself together -- I had planned to leave Angelfish in daycare this morning to Get Stuff Done. So far... not so much.

This post had direction when I started it, but kind of lost its way by the second sentence...

MILP #219

2011-09-06T08:22:00.000-04:00

Proto Atty is a rock star and did the roundup even though she just gave birth ... like minutes ago. Ok, exaggerating. Slightly. Still, rock star. Here next.

The kids are alright

2011-09-02T22:44:00.004-04:00

Clownfish turned 7 during the blackout. We played boardgames by candlelight and let him pick a terrible chain restaurant for dinner. He said he had the best birthday ever. We bought him three Beyblades, which are these tops with a launcher, and plastic bowl "battle stadium," where he launches the tops and lets them crash into each other. In lieu of a big party, we're taking him to Medieval Times this weekend as a surprise.

Angelfish is about 7.5 months. I really think she has less hair now than when she was born, and people often mistake her for a boy... a boy wearing green sundresses with strawberries, I guess. She sits up very well unsupported, but needs to be put in that position. She can transition from there to her army crawl, usually without much head crashing. She pushes up on her hands and knees and occasionally really crawls a few steps. She has the most colorful assortment of squeaks and growls. She does not know how to sleep for more than 6 hours at a stretch, so there will be at least one nighttime feeding. She doesn't cry when she wakes up at night, she yells. I swear she says MA! MAMA! I have occasionally tried to "wait it out" to see if she'll go back to sleep without a visit from mommy. Nope. She does not want to be held, soothed, rocked, patted, rubbed, diapered, loved or touched -- she wants to be fed. Just a few ounces, but then she will happily go right back to bed and to sleep. I used to at least nurse at night, but with the stress of the blackout, I just found making a bottle easier, and she accepted it happily. Guess I'm done nursing her. Sad, really. When I pick her up at night, I put her up on my shoulder, and she hits me repeatedly, excitedly and happily... its like an abusive version of "oh there you are Mommy, thank you Mommy...." Kind of makes it hard to resent our little nighttime visit, even if the sleep deprivation gets old.

The little pea to be continues to be. Nothing is real til its confirmed by a doctor, which will happen sometime next week. Little pea is making me constantly nauseated and hella cranky, though.

Edited to add: For those who read in blog reader, I updated the descriptions of the kids on the site, if you're interested.

MILP #218

2011-09-01T20:26:00.000-04:00

Ptlawmom had it. Days ago in fact.

I was without power until a couple of hours ago. I eeked out a few desperate tweets on my old-school Verizon (not "smart") cell phone, but have been otherwise incommunicado. Curse you, Irene! I am nauseated as hell. Hope all is well with the rest of you.

Things

2011-08-27T16:22:00.002-04:00

I have had a headache, an upset stomach and mild but unrelenting kidney pain for several days.

Angelfish has a body-wracking cough. I give her nebulizer treatments at bedtime, and during bad nights like last night, around 2 a.m. The looks of betrayal when I hold her little arms down when all she wants to do is getthemaskoffgetitoffgetitoffnow are brutal. Also, as a result, I'm not sleeping well.

Hurricane Irene is due here eventually. My street always floods in a storm. The best I can pray for is that we don't lose power (for very long anyway) and that the flood waters don't destroy my car or basement.

They cancelled Bullshark's flight home from where he touched down in CONUS. He was due in tonight. I have no idea when he'll get home now. He's at airport trying to work that out. Oh, and he just got a call from his father saying his mom is in the hospital. Yeah, ok... I think Bullshark is having a shittier day than I am.

Tie breaker?

2011-08-24T21:49:00.000-04:00

Ambivalent: strong, simultaneous & contradictory attitudes or feelings.

We have talked about whether we want to try for a third child. We haven't done any medical procedures to prevent a third. Because we're ambivalent. In the early years, we always assumed we'd have at least three kids. We didn't know how challenging it would be to bring #2 into the world. Or that it would take six years. Or that the timing would come as such a challenge, but in the end it all worked out fine. Angelfish was a long-awaited, long-wanted wonderful surprise of a pregnancy. I was anxious throughout, considering my history, but now we have this amazing wonderfully squishy baby. We consider ourselves so blessed to have been given two happy, healthy kids -- a boy and a girl, no less -- wouldn't it be just the height of selfish to ask for more than that? Plus, the expense. We're barely keeping our heads above water. We've been married for over 12 years. It would be nice to, someday, not constantly feel like we're barely making it every month. A third child would push that "someday" off even farther into the future. And college saving? The kids are gonna need some scholarships or something as it is. Retirement savings? What's that? So maybe our ambivalence was really just a way of postponing what would be the inevitable decision... our family was fine at four.

So imagine my surprise when I popped positive on a pregnancy test today.

I hadn't planned on mentioning it here for a while. Bullshark is overseas after all. I was hemming and hawing as to whether I should tell him over email or wait til he got home. I had made telling him about prior pregnancies sort of an event... a special occasion. These ended badly. So, with Angelfish, I told him without ceremony. But it was at least in person. Then in his email tonight, out of the blue, he said:

Not to get too personal, but did your aunt flow come? or are we expecting a tie breaker in 10 months?

Yeah. So I took that as a sign, caught him on instant message before went to bed, and told him.

I know I should be overjoyed, but I'm still kind of reeling. I had only just begun to figure out what it meant to be a working mother of two, and honestly still faced some ambivalence over "selfishly" returning to a job that makes me happy instead of being home with my children. I wanted to dote on my squishy baby and watch her grow into toddlerhood. I hadn't planned on doing that with a demanding infant in tow. I am kicking myself for not being more proactive about birth control. I only just got my damn period back! I should have known, though. My kidneys have been hurting. Last time that happened was here. Also, I thought my rack looked awesome because I finally started wearing normal (not nursing) bras. But I guess its not that.

I'm sure I'll eventually get to the "OMG I am so happy" place. Congratulations are, of course, completely appropriate. But I don't feel the "squeeeeeee" ... not yet anyway.

And also, because of my history, I feel like a really bad person right now for not being overjoyed. Like, if anything happens, I will beat myself up mercilessly because I somehow caused it by my ambivalence. Which, intellectually, I know is bullshit. But... well, now you know what its like to live in my crazy ass head.

_________________________________________________
(I know that this is insensitive to women who have fertility issues and had challenging pregnancies. I know the me who struggled for so long to get & stay pregnant with Angelfish would be so angry reading this post. But it is where I am now. And I remind myself that I am not responsible for how other people feel.)

MILP #217

2011-08-21T20:21:00.001-04:00

Attorney At Large debuts as a regular host of the roundup with a bang. A glorious, geeky bang.

Beach day

2011-08-19T08:08:00.000-04:00

My sister suggested bringing the kids to a quiet little beach I had never heard of. It was a short walk from the parking lot to the sand. There was a lifeguard on duty. The sea was calm, and there was no undertow or indeed any current to speak of. Overcast skies, but I was still vigilant about sunscreen. The weather was not overly hot or humid, and of course we had that glorious shore breeze. There were maybe 20 families there with little kids there, and spread out enough that we weren't assaulted by other kids' sand fights and running.

I had bought a small tent years ago when Clownfish was a baby and I was glad that my super-organized husband had hung it in the garage where I was able to find it for Angelfish. The tent protected her from the sand and the sun and gave her a place to take two naps relatively undisturbed. Angelfish fights sleep in the cutest way. She settles in on her tummy and sucks her thumb for thirty seconds, then pops it out and cries, then pops it in and sucks, rinse repeat between three and seven times... until the thumb finally remains in place and she drifts off to sleep.

Admission wasn't cheap -- $20 for a weekday pass -- but giving my son a day to run around with his cousins, to swim and pretend to be a shark, to build castles with moats, to collect rocks because "Papa would want them," all without having to worry about being the "big brother" for a few hours?

Priceless.

Money can't buy me love

2011-08-17T16:43:00.001-04:00

Just did our back to school shopping for Clownfish. New sneakers & new shoes (on sale), two new pairs of uniform pants, other assorted uniform necessities, lunchbox, and assorted school supplies. The benefit of the uniforms is that I don't have to get a whole wardrobe, etc., but they do charge an arm and a leg for a single pair of pants. Oh, and I have to go get them shortened. Grand total came in at around $225 (not including alterations... maybe Bullshark can do them?). This is probably less than some families and more than others. But dropping that much in the span of a few hours, plus $60 on gas for the car, just made me say ouch.

This Angelfish post will self-destruct

2011-08-15T14:06:00.001-04:00

Laughter. Maniacal laughter, but laughter all the same.

(Oh, that's Clownfish saying silly things trying to get her to laugh.)

(Sorry you missed the video.)

MILP #216: Fear and Loathing

2011-08-15T09:09:00.002-04:00

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, Attorney Work Product and Attorney at Large blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

Did you notice a change there? Attorney at Large? Yes, she has joined our rotation full time, and we're happy to have her. She'll have the roundup on Sunday. Then Ptlawmom, then Atty Work Product. If this all seems too much to keep up with, don't worry. As usual, if you check any one of us, we'll set you right.

This week, I blogged about my fear of spiders. So I thought I'd see if any of the other MILPs blogged about fears and loathings... or things that mildly annoy them. Yes, I skipped some folks -- ya'll just were too positive to meet the theme this week, not matter how I stretched it.

There are some new (to my roundup, anyway) MILPs on this list. Ch-ch-ch-ch-check them out.

Here we go.

Fumbling for Truth. Biglaw hours.
LEO. Biglaw boredom.
Rayne of Terror. Thinking she knows what she's doing in court, and being wrong.
Atty at Large. Pain in the head and gut.
SuzyJD. Bone spurs.
Jenny. Ex-husband. And buses.
Magic Cookie. Nursing in the bus tunnel.
Mommy & Sin City. Postpartum depression.
But I do have a law degree... Meddling baby nurse.
- K -. Pregnancy "glow"
Wild Northwest Litigator. Pregnancy bloat.
Sammie B. Bedrest.
Nonsense & Frippery. Medical idiocy.
Ptlawmom. Post-vacation madness.
Legally Certifiable. Obligation.
Atty Work Product. Deadbeats.
Edited to add: -R- Swimsuits.

Also, not in the theme, but since she's new, I thought I'd include Today & Tomorrow, who is all in for 1L to begin, and, since its too awesome not to link, huge congrats to Reluctant Grownup, who has a new job and a place to raise her family.

_________________________________________________
If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at any of our sites. Expecting moms in law school and attorneys are welcome.
FYI: I am no longer doing the hat tip to the Legal Underground because neither he nor his cohorts and successors are doing the law school round up any longer. We are the only game in town now, beeotches. People doing round up knock offs gonna be hat tipping US.

Arachnophobia

2011-08-14T07:17:00.001-04:00

I am pretty terrified of spiders. I think Ron from Harry Potter is completely and utterly rational in this regard. While Bullshark was deployed, I adopted a live and let live approach to any little spiders that found their way into the house. Until I started killing them occasionally. Only if they were small and unsuspecting and slowish and I was sure I would be successful the first time.

Now, I have a very large problem. There are (at least) three very very big spiders who live outside my house. During the early evening, they weave very very large and intricate webs between my roof gutter and front yard lamp and in front of my front door. So, if I come home after dark, my path is blocked by enormous spiders hovering in the center of enormous webs.

This has happened four times. Each time, I elected to have the kids stand back while I used an ISWBD (improvised spider web breaking device--junk mail, usually) to break a few key strands so we could move past without getting covered in sticky web attached to angry huge spiders. This has taken no small amount of skill -- night time, after all. The spiders move their webs every time, and the only warning you get (if you're looking for it) is the hovering spider himself, marking the center of the web.

But then I leave them alone. Because they are far far far too big for me to kill. UGH. As I type this, I keep getting that icky feeling that I have spider webs on me or spiders crawling on my skin.

Last night, after we made it safely inside, and the biggest spider by the door started repairing his web, I decided to take action. I found a can of ant killer in the basement. I sprayed the spider through the screen door. He fell to the ground, stunned more by the liquid than any poison. Then he climbed back up and went back to work.

Great. Now I've pissed them off.

Maybe there's a reason they say you can't go home?

2011-08-11T11:06:00.051-04:00

New tag: working girl-3rd year. This starts my third year year as a lawyer, and I've still never represented a client. Or defended or taken a deposition. Or drafted a will or a contract. Instead, I work behind the scenes. I get to legal research and writing for a living. It makes me happy that, as a result, I can talk intelligently about a wide variety of legal issues and areas of law. And I'm very happy doing it this way. For now.

For various personal reasons (see for example, Angelfish), I applied to return to the place that I worked for my first year out of law school. They agreed to take me back, but, again, they can only commit to a one year term. I am much more anxious about going back than I thought I would be. They'll expect a lot of me -- I should know what I'm doing, after all. And I'm afraid that I'm going to blow my hard-earned reputation by screwing something huge up.

Also, again, because of the nature of the job, I am looking toward the next horizon -- fall 2012. I'm banking on my experience and references and applying for jobs that I would never have been considered for just out of law school.

We'll see how it goes.

MILP oversights

2011-08-09T19:37:00.000-04:00

I just discovered yet another MILP blog that I haven't included in my roundup, ever. I have given up using bloglines and other readers because I kept missing posts.

If you're a MILP, please check the MILP blogroll to the right. If you're not there, and wish to be, comment please.

This has been a Butterflyfish Blog special report. We apologize for the inconvenience and now return you to your regularly scheduled blogging.

MILP #215

2011-08-09T13:26:00.000-04:00

Proto Atty had it. Here Sunday.

In other news, I rearranged the labels on my blog this morning. Yeah, that wasn't on the list of things to do. But you know, coping mechanisms take weird forms. Anyway, there was a temporary post, which may have spammed your feeds. Sorry about that.

Without him, I feel his arms around me....

2011-08-08T22:50:00.001-04:00

Bullshark is heading overseas for the rest of the month. Naval reserve stuff. Bad news is, I'm flying solo with the kids, etc. for the rest of August. Good news is, the timing could not have been better because I'm unemployed until September. I had hoped by writing this, I would shake off the complete and utter denial I am experiencing right now.

Don't think it worked.

Ok, so I'll list the things I need to do before he returns.

Things to do:

Every morning, water the garden, check for veggies to pick, make lots of salads.
Every morning, go for a walk! Seriously, no fucking excuses. Pack the baby into a stroller and get your fat ass out there. (Oh yeah, the professional pics taken at the race were not flattering.)
Go to the dentist (long overdue filling for me, annual check up for Clownfish).
Make an appointment to see a kidney doctor. The stones are lurking, but couldn't be dealt with during pregnancy.
Finally finish the bar application for State 2. Passed the damn exam in 2009 and haven't gotten admitted yet.
Make a doctor appointment about Angelfish's lungs... could be nothing, but she gets frequent coughs.
Start on Angelfish's baby album. She's seven months old. It is time.
Hey, haven't you been meaning to print the old blog posts about Clownfish? For like, years now?
Oh, there was that list of books you've been meaning to read...?
Plan Clownfish's birthday.
You've got at least two softball games and you have to arrange for childcare at the field.
Visit all of those friends and family you've been politely putting off until August. Its August now. The calendar is starting to fill up... and you haven't even started calling those doctors.
. . .

Ok, now I'm just freaking myself out.

Edited to add: Clownfish's school uniform, school shoes, school sneakers, back to school shopping....

I think I'll go have some wine. Bullshark should be done packing soon, I hope.

(Anyone recognize the post title?)

The first 5k are the hardest

2011-08-07T11:31:00.000-04:00

I "ran" my first 5k today. That's 3.1 miles. "Ran" because I walked a lot of it, probably more than was strictly necessary. It was pouring, pouring rain. It started with a slog down an unpaved road with 5-inch deep puddles, then up a decent sized hill, and then through residential neighborhoods with lots of turns around corners and up and down side roads. Needless to say, I lost the field pretty early and found myself running alone. I had real difficulty finding a good pace and my asthma was acting up after that first hill. I got discouraged for a while and walked for a good bit. Somewhere between mile two and three, I was able to jog with consistency and actually had a good pace going, but my last place finish was already secured by that point. Toward the end, they had a guy in a truck following me, because all of the other people along the route who were giving directions had gone back to the finish line already. There was a 10 mile race too, so everyone was still there when I crossed the finish line.

My goal was to finish, and I did. In 166th place, and about 10 minutes behind the next slowest runner.

Oh well, I have a time to beat for the next one.

Things I learned:

I had not trained nearly enough.
The beginners typically do not come out for runs when the weather is shitty.
Nor do cheering fans.
Asthma f**king sucks.
Jimmy Eat World "The Middle" is the best song on my running mix. I played it three times because it was totally responsible for me finally finding a solid pace.
Running in the rain sucks a lot less than running in the heat.
Hot showers feel goooooooood.

Debt ceiling

2011-08-06T05:42:00.000-04:00

The 17 year old Chrysler (mentioned here) finally died for good. Between a catastrophic failure (kachunk, pshhhhhh, flap flap, flap, and then everything stopped at once) and the "do not resuscitate" order I entered last time we dropped a grand on the thing, it was time.
Of course, we need two cars -- Bullshark and I work in opposite directions and run very different hours. Now we now have TWO car payments, both 100% financed because we have zero savings thanks to law school. Between those payments and daycare... seriously, exorbitant daycare costs that are about to skyrocket when Angelfish starts full time in September. Daycare costs are so high, it sometimes feels like it would pay for me NOT to work. Then I look at the other bills, knowing that I contribute toward paying them, and I realize that its not an option for me to stay home. Why? Mortgage/taxes, Clownfish's tuition (whole year must be paid between July and December, so payments are pretty high right now), student loans.... Plus we have other debt. Old debt that we've been working hard to pay down, plus debt acquired in law school.

Raising the family debt ceiling sucked. But now we have a sweet little commuter car (Hyundai Accent) that can get up to 40 miles per gallon. We'll probably come out ahead... eventually.

This Angelfish post will self destruct

2011-08-03T18:50:00.001-04:00

Angelfish does yoga poses. Please ignore my super excited mommy voice. You have been warned. Really. Turn down the speakers.

(Video is gone. Sorry you missed it. She has several of those Carter's monkey outfits. The video involved her shaking her monkey butt and chunky thighs.)

Kind of loving my time at home

2011-08-03T09:58:00.000-04:00

We used to place stuffed toys at the edge of the blanket on the floor to get Clownfish to crawl forward. He'd pull the blanket so the toy would move toward him instead. Angelfish, on the other hand, has achieved forward momentum in her crawling efforts. Her first order of business was to attempt to remove Clownfish's slipper. I think she was going for his toes. Vicious baby on the loose. You're on notice.

MILP #214

2011-08-01T20:47:00.002-04:00

Ptlawmom had it.

Mover and shaker

2011-07-30T21:31:00.000-04:00

At six and a half months old, Angelfish is a girl ready to MOVE.

In an attempt to do the "I can't call it an Army crawl cuz Bullshark is in the Navy" Crawl, she has done though some distinct phases. There is the starfish/surfer arms, neck and legs up belly spin, which allows her to face different directions.

There's the inchworm. She pushes up her tush into the air, her legs almost straight, but her arms kind of still in starfish position out to the side. Accordingly, she sort of supports her front end with her face and then falls, resulting in some forward movement. It looks a bit like an inchworm.

This morning, she did "downward dog" yoga pose -- back legs straight and arms straight. She supported her weight for a good few seconds. I got that on video. Facebook friends will see it tonight. Probably.

Every now and then she coordinates the arms and legs in to accomplish a proper "I can't call it an Army ... etc." Crawl. But then she stops, rolls over on her back, and eats her feet.

Food: I still haven't introduced meat yet for one simple reason -- laziness. I haven't looked up how to make it myself. I imagine it involves, you know, cooking it and pureeing it. But we've been eating spicy stuff lately, no plain grilled chicken or anything. So... anyway. She's happily eating carrots, sweet potatoes, green beans, peas, avocado, applesauce, peaches, plums, blueberries, bananas and cereal... and combinations thereof (plum/blueberry/applesauce/rice is a lovely dark pink bit of breakfast deliciousness). Hmmm... suggestions (other than meat) for what to make next?

I have to put this down because otherwise I'll forget it. She growls. There really is no other word for that sound. Its a growl, it comes from her throat, and it is serious business. She emits it when she's hungry.

Nursing is a bit of a challenge now -- she really prefers the speed of the bottle. She gets frustrated sometimes and slaps my boob. She then looks up at me, like wtf Mom? I might start taking it personally.

She is an unrepentant belly sleeper, but if we get her into the crib when she first rubs her eyes, she goes right down. Naps can be short and frequent on a bad day or nicely organized and about 2 hours in length on a good one. But woe to the parent that misses the sleep window! The crying... it hurts me so much!

She still insists on waking up twice a night (depending on your definition of night) at 1 a.m.-ish and 4 a.m.-ish.

She really is the smileiest baby. She'd give Lag Liv's Biscuit a run for her money.

Me, as a lawyer

2011-07-30T12:25:00.003-04:00

The Lucy job is over.

My [boss] said that I did "conscientious, resourceful, and energetic work" and that I tackle difficult issues with "tenacity - and cheerfulness."

Tenacious and cheerful in my work. That really is exactly how I see myself.

MILP #213: Drawing a Blank

2011-07-24T21:34:00.000-04:00

Lag Liv on the work-life imbalance
Inspired by - R-, I totally should do a full length picture... umm... sometime...
Jenny got stuff done til her son got home.
Shan is all about the criminals.
Izzie is on a labor rant.
Atty Work Product saw one scary doggie.
Lag Liv (again) Biscuits by the truckload.
LEO on where to put the baby.
WNW Litigator is adjusting to the drastic career change.
Suzy on the importance of the second parent.
Atty at Large on why 4 year olds are awesome
LC on why 10 year olds are awesome
Dinei on marriage vows.

__________________________________________________________
If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at any of our sites. Expecting moms in law school and attorneys are welcome.
FYI: I am no longer doing the hat tip to the Legal Underground because neither he nor his cohorts and successors are doing the law school round up any longer. We are the only game in town now, beeotches. People doing round up knock offs gonna be hat tipping US.

Summertime and the posting ain't easy

2011-07-23T12:07:00.000-04:00

The pool day didn't start off well. We were parked on the highway for over an hour when it was shut down for an accident. Eventually had a nice visit with my sister (and her pool) that day, though.

Softball. One of the guys put it best: "You play we... with a lot of heart." Three games next week (damn rain makeups). Yeesh. At least Bullshark is going to bring the kids for one of them.

We hardly ever eat in chain restaurants anymore... surely less than once a quarter and only when traveling... and when we do, I am just bored with it all.

My job ends on Friday. I am sad to leave. Nothing seems to be progressing on that "potential" job I mentioned. I do have a job lined up for September, though. Going back to my first job.

Angelfish is amazing at 6 months. I'll post details soon.

Date night with Clownfish. Dinner at a local tex-mex place and Winnie the Pooh. Perfect.

MILP #212

2011-07-18T12:08:00.001-04:00

Atty Work Product had the Roundup. Here next.

Pool day!

2011-07-16T10:38:00.000-04:00

Best case scenario: no sunburns, no injuries, no crying, and tired happy kids allow me 7+ hours of consecutive sleep tonight.

Fingers crossed!

MILP #211

2011-07-13T21:41:00.001-04:00

Ptlawmom had it. Here in two weeks.

Vegetable garden

2011-07-10T21:15:00.000-04:00

After a few years of growing tomatoes on the deck in pots, we started a garden this year. Every time I see it, I think of this song from Married with Children.

This clip was the best I could find, click through to 1:00 or so, its only a few seconds.

Dum dee dee dum dee dee dumdum VEGETABLE GAAAAARDEN!
Dum dee dee dum dee dee dum dum dum dum dum CORN!!!

Me and the kids, solo this weekend

2011-07-10T06:34:00.000-04:00

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see whats in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes,
her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when shes gone
there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know

~ ABBA

MILP #210: Songs of Summer II

2011-07-04T22:08:00.001-04:00

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

Back around MILP week 50, I did a songs of summer edition. Since summer is good for reruns and sequels, I thought this old theme could get another go round. Maybe I'll figure out how to pay myself some royalties while I'm at it.

This week, it is summertime, but that doesn't mean the living is always easy:*

"Margaritaville," Jimmy Buffett. WNW Litigator (huge career change deserves some drinks)
"Cruel Summer." Banarama. LEO (ready for maternity leave)
"Born To Run," Bruce Springsteen Magic Cookie (ready to return to work)
"I Can See Clearly Now," Johnny Nash. Sammie B. (send good thoughts)
"Let's Go Crazy," Prince. In a Minute (on rage) and Attorney at Large (on family)
"Wipeout." Beach Boys/Fat Boys. Izzie. (dial up)
"LOCOmotion," Little Eva. Like falling off a blawg. (Why Bill?!)
"Saturday in the Park," Chicago. Dinei (she can go there, then, even)
"Summertime," DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince. And you know what else? (suntan lotion)
"One Week," Barenaked Ladies. Atty Work Product (gettin it done)
"School's Out," Alice Cooper. Legally Certifiable (& tracking coyotes)
"Boys of Summer (& and Biscuit too!)" Don Henley Lag Liv
Groovin' The Young Rascals. But I Do Have a Law Degree (groovy grownup with young rascals)

Meh, they're not all great pairings. Themes are hard, ya'll.

By the way, PBB has been blogging actively -- just a reminder to check there too, if you can!

____________________________
FYI: I am no longer doing the hat tip to the Legal Underground because neither he nor his cohorts and successors are doing the law school round up any longer. We are the only game in town now, beeotches. People gonna be hat tipping US.

Angelfish, five months

2011-07-03T07:32:00.044-04:00

I look at my chubby, smiling infant with disbelief. How was she ever that tiny little newborn with skinny chicken legs? Her legs look like tied pork roasts for goodness sake! Sleeping is still "not so much" -- we're getting a long evening nap, which sometimes goes until as late as 10 p.m. Some nights, she'll sleep from 10 all the way til 4 or (even once) 5(!) a.m., but usually she's up at least once before that. She hasn't pooped in three days. This is normal for a breastfed infant, but new for her. She's getting crabby about it.

I started writing that post in early June.

It is now July 3. She's sleeping a bit better. She loves to chew on her thumb right before she falls asleep -- it has replaced the green binky. She rolls from her back to her belly, but can't roll back. Its a problem because she's fallen asleep on her belly a few times. This causes me no small amount of anxiety, but short of staying in her room and flipping her over repeatedly, there is not much I can do.

She's very smiley with big brown eyes. Everyone notices the eyes first. She's very alert and aware and curious. My son had similar eyes, but I don't remember him being as easy with his smile.

She wants very much to move and she's frustrated that she can't. She gets on her belly and starts kicking her legs, moving her knees and trying very hard to coordinate so she can belly crawl. She can change her orientation and move around a small space a bit, but you can just tell that she wants to be able to locomotor to wherever the action is, preferably near her big brother.

She's so curious! She starts to nurse, but then hears something or someone that makes her want to turn her head. She usually doesn't detatch in order to investigate (streeeeetch -- ouch!) and, when she does let go, she returns her attention to nursing with a vengeance that best resembles a shark attacking a baby seal.

The homemade baby food thing is going well -- sweet potatoes were a big hit. Oatmeal, carrots, green beans, peas and bananas so far. Gonna try to give her some avocado today because I am making my bean dip for a barbeque at my sister's this afternoon. Pretty soon she'll have sampled enough stuff that we'll be able to feed her some table food.

Yay 4th of July weekend!

Accounting

2011-06-30T21:30:00.000-04:00

I've played in two softball games this week. I made contact with the ball three times in three at bats and actually got on base once. Sure, my hit was so shallow that another runner was forced out, but that hardly matters. I rock.

I finally started week two of the couch to 5k program I'm allegedly doing. Its been easier this week because my mom is not here. She's back next week, and Bullshark will be away. We'll see if I can keep to it. Anyway, I've been able to run when it tells me to and just when I think "ok, really, I've got to switch to walking or something is gonna break," I hear the little notes telling me its ok to walk. Minimal wheezing, probably because I take a few puffs off the inhaler before I go. Clownfish walks/runs with me. Tonight, at the end of our workout, Clownfish and I each took an earbud and walked back to the car listening to his favorite songs and holding hands. Best part of my day.

Weight-wise I've been at a plateau for about two-three months. I'm happy that I haven't gained anything (playing within the same 5 pounds), but I knew I would need to add activity if I was going to lose anything more. I really think I can lose another 20 pounds by Thanksgiving if I just keep slow and steady.

Oh, here's a link to the actual running program Bullshark downloaded for me -- its called podrunner intervals, but I'll continue to refer to it as couch to 5k, the same way people refer to all brown fizzy beverages as Coke.

MILP #209

2011-06-28T20:47:00.000-04:00

Big thanks to EH at Attorney At Large, who volunteered to guest host the Roundup this week. THANK YOU!!

Here Monday (long weekend in honor of the 4th).

Crowdsourcing

2011-06-26T17:19:00.000-04:00

1) How do I "break in" a softball glove?

2) I need a new camera. Digital point and shoot, compact for ease of transport with kids, at least 10x zoom (because my current camera has 3x zoom and it sucks), decent performance in lowlight and for sports a plus, price point less than $300 (preferably with all accessories, like battery and memory card). Considering Nikon Coolpix S8100 (on Amazon for about $230). Thoughts, other suggestions welcome.

3) Eating pepperoni pizza while making organic baby food for your daughter: best idea ever, or BEST idea, ever!

Career Post

2011-06-22T22:26:00.000-04:00

So, by popular demand -- meaning one request -- I am going to post the career dilemma. I tend to talk about my job in oblique terms. This post won't be any different. But these are the relevant details. I work for a large agency with several arms. My job last year and my job this year were each one year term positions within the agency. The position I held this year in arm X is nonrenewable. The position I held last year in arm Y was renewable under limited circumstances, but since I was hired for the position in arm X, I didn't apply to be renewed. In light of the (then pending) birth of my daughter, however, a few weeks into my position in arm X, I applied to Y for a position starting in fall 2011. It was more or less unheard of to do that, but I figured, what the hell?

And... it worked.

Job "Bird in the Hand":

The top boss in arm Y is awesome. She knew exactly why I applied to return (predictable hours + job I already knew well = pretty darn family friendly position in the law). She liked my work. So, she took me back. I was ecstatic, overjoyed, grateful and relieved to know what I'm doing this fall. Plus, I'll have August off (unpaid, but the timing works out for various family/childcare/military reasons.) Y Boss can only commit to hiring me for a one year term, but there are rare (really rare) opportunities for permanent positions in the Y arm, and my odds of securing such a position increase substantially if I'm already there.

If not, well, I had another year, and I will be eligible in that year to apply for anything else that might open up in the agency. Regardless of what happens "In the Bush," I'm ok. Which is awesome.

Job "In the Bush":

I wrote this post about how I am a f**king idiot because I did not apply for a permanent position that opened up in arm A. There is a possibility another position will open up unexpectedly, and if it does, it will open soon. Potential boss in arm A asked me if I would hypothetically be interested in such a position if it opened. Hypothetically, I am interested. Hypothetically, if the position opened and I was chosen, I'd have to have an answer pretty damn quickly. So, here are the problems.

Problem 1: Summer. If that position opened, I might have to start August 1. Daycare, plus I'll have to try to enroll Clownfish in camp or something and compel my mom to commit to yet another month of driving up to help out on the days I don't have care for Angelfish -- in short, its do-able, but sucky. I was frank about this concern with potential boss since we were speaking hypothetically, but there probably isn't much they could do about delaying the start date. But ... it would only be sucky for a month. Then, I'd have a JOB. A real permanent job - job. Well, as permanent as anything is in this climate.

Problem 2: Bridges. Its the same agency, and people move within it all the time. Boss Y is awesome and would be understanding if a permanent opportunity came up and I took it. But, it would leave Boss Y, who has been nothing but awesome to me, in a bit of a lurch. As far as she knows, I haven't applied for anything else. I haven't given her a heads up because, technically, I haven't actually applied for anything else. This hypothetical job may never materialize. Or, if it does, I may apply and not get it.

Problem 3: Distance. Its a longer drive and harder to leave if anything comes up with the kids, and Bullshark works too far away to be a viable alternative before 3 p.m.

For comparison sake:

Salary/benefits: close enough to not make a difference in my determinations.
Family friendly: Both are about as "mommy track" as you can get as far as regularity of hours (45/ week), but neither are flexible regarding working from home, or arriving earlier or staying later to make up hours.
Commute: Hand is much shorter, by at least 30 minutes in the evening, 15 in the morning most days.
Coffee: Available in both offices for a modest fee, but cheaper at Bush.
Personnel: Each environment has its characters, nutjobs, whackadoos, and assholes. Probably a draw.
Physical work environment: Bush is literally in a basement. Advantage Hand.
Neighborhood: Bush is near an awesome city park, great for the occasional lunchtime "I need fresh air" stroll with lots of options for grabbing quick, healthy meals if you forget your lunch. Hand could be one of several locations, and may be in the kind of neighborhood in which you don't walk outside without a mace. (Not like pepper spray, I mean the medieval instrument used for bludgeoning.)
Potential for growth: More opportunities for advancement in Arm X. Advantage Bush.
Courtroom exposure: about equal, but for different purposes.
Law: Hard to say which I'd like more. Like most law jobs, attention to detail, research and writing are the hallmarks of both positions.

Hand: wide variety of different areas of law, new stuff just about every day, frustration and flying by the seat of pants is the norm. More likely to "feel like I've made a difference."
Bush: very specific and quirky area of law, lots of legal brain work and analysis in that sphere, the little that I know of the work is that it can be somewhat more routine, but with maybe higher stakes.

So there it is.
If Bush materializes, what should I do?
Crowd sourcing.
Go.

Softball

2011-06-20T21:22:00.001-04:00

I attended my very first ever softball practice tonight. It was four athletic guys, one girl who plays on two other softball teams, and me.

How new at this am I? I had to buy a glove. I bought a glove for lefties. I never used it before today. Turns out, although a write with my left hand, I throw better with my right. Who knew? I borrowed another glove and played on. (Thank goodness the sporting goods store let me exchange mine -- I stopped on the way home.)

I lost the ball in the sun and got hit in the chest. I also got nailed in the arm. Once, diving away from an inside pitch, I got hit in the finger. Oh, I also took a shot to my left boob. My left hand is sore -- a glove affords less protection than one would think. My shoulders hurt. Gonna take some Advil. There is no crying in softball.

Everyone has a nickname or two. Cupcakes (also Highlight Reel), Jeter (also Primadonna), Rep., Boss, MVP.

No nickname for me yet. I'm hoping to at least avoid a moniker synonymous with failure. So far, so good. Why? I accidentally caught the ball on at least three occasions. I purposefully caught it more often than that, but the three occasions people cheered because the play looked good, it was more serendipity than skill. At bat, I repeatedly made contact with the ball ... and would have effectively grounded out to first on every play. But everyone was so happy that I was making contact.

Important life lesson: When you set the bar low, you never disappoint anyone.

MILP #208

2011-06-20T18:38:00.000-04:00

Atty Work Product had it. Here next week, probably late because of the long weekend.

Written, but unpublished

2011-06-16T22:08:00.000-04:00

So far in my draft folder from tonight, I have:

a snarky "open" letter to a co-worker who has screwed me over
a (really rare) photo post in which I whine that I don't think I really look any thinner (which could be construed as compliment fishing, except I really don't see a difference that can't be attributed to maybe better hair).

From recently but not tonight, I have:

A joke. Punchline is Weiner/Holder 2012
A lengthy screed about my finances
About three other versions of the "I don't think I look thinner" post
A career update, with the attendant "OMG I have to make decisions ... and all options have consequences ... and I don't want to burn any bridges ...."

Sigh. I'm gonna have a glass of wine and wait til Angelfish wakes for her next feeding. Then maybe I'll sleep.

Aren't you glad you read this blog?

Wisdom

2011-06-14T18:58:00.000-04:00

My life isn’t perfect. No one’s is. Sure, there are things I would change, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like what I have now. And I’m not gonna waste the prime of my adulthood sitting around wishing this or that was different. This has been your daily fuckin’ affirmation.

~ Mike, thejerkstore

Bits

2011-06-12T19:22:00.001-04:00

On Tuesday, my mom put the family dog, Shannon, to sleep. We had her for over 12 years. She was beautiful, a white faced husky/Shepard mix with grey and white fur and pointed ears, one of which always flopped down. She never growled and rarely barked, but she was prone to mad escapes around the neighborhood. My dad was more broken up about it than anyone else, and it hit him harder than any of us expected. I didn't live with the dog for long and won't pretend I was particularly attached to her. Still, it was a sad week for the family.

In other news:

I ate far too much Chinese food for dinner.

The "running thing" isn't going particularly well. I've got to get on that. My 5k is like 6 weeks away. I'd like to traverse it in under an hour (note: I didn't say 'run' -- I don't think I'll actually be able to run the whole thing.)

I joined a softball league at the behest of my co-workers. I've never actually played softball. Yes, really. This should be... interesting. Hit the batting cages tonight. For the first time in my entire life. Yes, really. I went like 2/30. I'm awesome.

This week's moment of Mommy fail: Saw a commercial with Bon Jovi talking about charity. It was playing snips of Bon Jovi songs. Asked Clownfish if he knew who it was. Thought he'd know the music for sure. He said 'Justin Beiber'?NOOOO!

MILP #207

2011-06-12T19:04:00.001-04:00

Ptlawmom had it. Here in two weeks.

June

2011-06-07T03:37:00.000-04:00

Last June was training time at the Lucy job. I was miserable. Due to certain quirks of the system, I had to do twice the work of other trainees in the same amount of time. I worked through lunch most days and stayed late, while the others were socializing and/or doing bar prep. I was also, unbeknownst to anyone at the job, in the early days of my pregnancy, taking hormone shots in the ass that amplified all negative feelings of panic, sadness and stress. June 2010 was not a good time.*

I promised myself then that I would advocate for my replacement, though in such a way that it did not appear as if I were complaining about my own ~~personal hell~~ June. Due, in part, to some of my advocacy and in part to some systemic changes beyond my paygrade, my replacement is going to have a much less awful month than I had. Well, his workload is comparable to everyone else's, anyway.

Too bad, once again, I can't say the same is true for me. There is a fixed amount of work to be done before our term ends in July. I have picked up two huge assignments and several small ones -- enough to keep me very busy between now and the end, but not enough to cause me panic attacks. Yet every day I feel further behind, because the idea of a fixed amount of work is illusory. I keep getting other crazy little projects. Stuff that not only would not have bothered me a month ago, but stuff I would have enjoyed. Now? Seeing the days trickle down on the calendar, while also seeing my work pile grow.... sigh.**

It is gonna be another one of those Junes.

_________________________________________________
* The rest of the year was seriously awesome and I loved it. There was less stress. Time was on my side. I got stuff done without the looming threat of a drop-dead date. Oh, you know, except for the weeks leading up to my daughter's birth. But people backed off giving me new stuff towards the end then, and just let me finish what I had.
** Don't think I haven't considered shoveling some of it onto my replacement's desk, cuz I have.

Baby food

2011-06-05T20:03:00.000-04:00

So I think I'd like to make Angelfish's baby food. I have a food processor and a veggie steamer. How hard can it be?

What I don't have is a food storage system. I'd like to use something that can do individual portions. I need something that can be frozen and be warmed up in the bottle warmer (because that would work for the daycare down the line, especially if I'm going to insist that they don't microwave it).

Suggestions, tips, recipes, comments like "you're nuts, buy jars, it was good enough for Clownfish" and other thoughts are welcome.

Baby tricks at almost 5 months

2011-06-05T19:22:00.001-04:00

Blows bubbles.
Makes thbbbth noises.
Can hold, remove and manipulate binky.
Sucks thumb.
Has mastered the art of the fake cry.
Still protest crys at nap time, but with extra vigor (see previous entry).
Occasionally sleeps for 5 hour stretches, at night no less!
Loves baths, walks outside, warm breezes and trees. (This is beginning to sound like a personals ad.)
Ate her first solid food (oatmeal w/ mommy milk) today -- and loved it!
Rolled over from back to stomach (also today), though she seemed bewildered by what had occurred.
Weighs in at around 16.5 pounds.

MILP #206: It is like a multi-part harmony, really...

2011-06-05T09:10:00.002-04:00

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

This week, I noticed that the posts, as a whole, hit all the notes that we usually see in the Roundup. Put together, they capture almost the whole MILP song. Take a look.

Urban living:

Magic Cookie. Adventures in public transportation.
Atty At Large. Portland.

Kid cuteness:

Lag Liv. Happy birthday Biscuit!!
PtLawmom. Pics and plans.

Working mom challenges:

Lawyer success:

Legally Certifiable. WIN!
Googie. Run!
Only 3 Years. Summer associate.
Atty Work Product: Interview.
Jenny. A law school A.

About the only things missing were sex, wine and shopping. Get on that for next week, ladies. Mwah!

__________________________________________________________
If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at any of our sites. Expecting moms in law school and attorneys are welcome.

Thinking of planning to have a baby while in law school?

2011-06-03T19:51:00.000-04:00

Pregnant and in law school?

Mom going to law school?

A collection of the best advice, anywhere, from women who have been there, done that and have the spit-up stained cami under their best interview suit to prove it can be found here.

(Yes, its that post everyone contributed to back in early 2010. I saw a recent spike in searches finding this blog. Thought I'd direct them to the best one-stop answer spot that I know.)

I am an idiot

2011-06-01T07:55:00.001-04:00

There was a posting for Job A. For a myriad of reasons note relevant to this story, Job A was for internal transfer only. It was well known by everyone that they were posting it as a formality because Employee S was getting Job A. Employee S was competent, well-liked, had paid his dues in a similar position that paid less... Job A was his. To avoid stepping on toes, etc. I did not apply for Job A.

What I thought was a reasonable plan was to apply for Job B -- the job Employee S currently holds. After the application period for Job A closed out, I mentioned to a boss that I was interested in Job B if and when it becomes open. Boss' face fell. She told me I would have been an excellent candidate for either position, and she'd love to have me. Even though I didn't tell her why I hadn't applied, she guessed right away. This happened to a few others who she knows were interested in Job B. She had wanted to give us a heads up, but she didn't want to be seen as soliciting applications. You see, unfortunately, Job B is going to be filled by the same applicant pool as Job A ... and they couldn't accept new applications.

Boss said nice things about my work and was able to speak candidly about my future prospects because there was no chance I could get the job. It was all nice to hear. But, in short, I am a f**king idiot.

(All is not lost -- there may be other opportunities, etc. in the future. I'm not terribly upset about it, things work out for the best, blah blah blah.... but I still feel like a f**king idiot.)

MILP #205

2011-06-01T06:06:00.002-04:00

Proto had it. Here Sunday.

Midnight toker

2011-05-30T06:52:00.000-04:00

My co-workers and I love sharing cites to obscure state trial court decisions that contain things we find funny. Sometimes its a well-deserved benchslap; sometimes its poetry (yes, literally -- we have some zany judges in my state), sometimes its just a case with great facts. One of my co-workers sent me a case in which the plaintiff alleged damages arising out of the plaintiff "negligently" adding marijuana to some cake batter, baking it and serving it to the defendant. The following g-chat conversation ensued.

Co-worker: [Other co-worker] says this will be moot in 5 months because [our state] is legalizing weed. The rest of us are highly suspicious of his statement.

Me: No I heard about this -- They're considering legalizing possession of up to an ounce.

Co-worker: hmmm I had no idea

Me: Dunno if it will make it out of committee but the bill is generating some buzz, if you'll pardon the pun.

I crack myself up.

Facebook Friends

2011-05-28T23:17:00.000-04:00

Thinking tonight about my friends. And Facebook.

None of my childhood friends have remained friends for life. There are a few people from that time who are Facebook friends. They're the "I accepted your friend request because when I saw your name I was suddenly curious about how you turned out, but now that I know that, I'd love for you to fade back into the obscurity of the past, thanks, and would prefer not to see your political rantings on my feed" friends. If de-friending wasn't such a "big deal," I'd probably have defriended them forever ago. As it is, I've hidden more than a few feeds.

(As an aside, there should be a term for these people. Suggestions?)

One high school friend has remained a friend for life. She and her partner are going through an icky separation. She has two kids and lives about 100 miles away. We see each other a few times a year -- probably would be more often if not for the icky separation thing. She's the person I identify as my "best friend" in the "known her forever, she knows a lot of the worst about me and still loves me, I trust her with my children, she's like a sister" sense. Of course, she's not on Facebook. Her partner is. Partner's "she's not my girlfriend, I just fuck her, but I don't see why that means I can't still live at home and raise the kids" posts on Partner's wall a lot. Awkward sauce.

Nearly all of the other high school girls with whom I am FB friends fall into the same category as the childhood friends above. (Really do need a term.)

I only made a few friends in college, but I really loved them. Then shit happened, like shit does in college, and we all stopped being friends. And now we're grown ups with kids and mortgages and have all eventually become FB friends... and though we all live within 100 miles of eachother, that's probably going to be the extent of it. But at least when I see their wall postings, I don't hide them like I do with the [need a term] friends.

I lost track of the one friend I made my first year teaching. I know he's married and has a son and is still teaching in the same school. But he's not on FB, so we've lost touch. I have two friends from my years teaching in Texas that, but for FB, might have met the same fate. I would be sad if that were true. My life is richer with them in it, even if only through the occasional online interaction.

There were maybe five girls I considered to be friends in law school. One moved far away (but is a pretty good FB friend), two are very caught up in life and career and never return calls or post on FB (I still reach out every few months, but I also don't need an anvil to the head to get the hint), and two I still see fairly regularly. I also made one good friend in my first post-law school job whom I still see regularly. The remainder of my law school classmate friends on FB are probably more "professional social networking" friends -- good to know to what they're up to, make introductions if another friend needs something, etc., but we're probably not gonna polish off a bottle of wine over boardgames any time soon.

We have two "couple" friends -- couple in which either I am friends with the wife or Bullshark is friends with the husband and we all hang out with our kids, who are of similar enough age. FB is where we share pictures.

Then there are my FB friends whom I've never met, and with whom I only interact online. They're probably my favorite FB friends. We have similar interests, cute kids, and snarky commentary on eachother's posts. Ya'll know who you are. You're the only ones who know about Butterflyfish, after all. Other than the randomness of my wonderful Irish relatives and the few far-away friends I've mentioned, they're probably the only reason I stay on FB.

Incompetence Redux

2011-05-25T19:49:00.001-04:00

At least my son made it past his second birthday before I cut him while cutting his nails and caused him to cry.*

Took a chunk off Angelfish's fingertip. Lots of blood. Loudest, hardest crying she's ever done. Boo boo bunny (fuzzy bunny ice pack) doesn't work when you're an infant and aren't distracted by bunny ears.

I am so, so sorry Angelfish.

* Ok, so not the first time I did it to him. But the first memorable time. Also, I didn't have a blog when Clownfish was an infant.