My post meme

Law Student Hot Mama (author of "Law School Sucks and So Do Lawyers" and one of the recent additions to the MILS round up) tagged me for a meme.

I noticed A New Duck and LSHM herself had difficulty with this because of a dearth of material as new bloggers; at well over 300 posts, I have the opposite problem.

So here it is: The My Posts Meme

I found myself going back farther in time because I am too close to my recent posts . . . its hard to know what I'll find funny or particularly reflective of a time until that time is past. These don't represent my best (because most of my posts are of the 'meh' variety) but they were fun to look back on.

Family: This post from June of last year sums up the conflicting feelings I have about boo boos.

Friends: Laughter was a commodity in short supply during my 1L year, but sem#n trees bring out the best in everyone.

Me: I was torn between talking about my v&gina or my insanity. I'll let you pick.

Something I love: Ironically, punctuation*

Anything: Ohhhh, one of my favorite moments from 1L, for the benefit of my newer readers.


* * *

Tagged: CM at Magic Cookie because she might do it, Useless Dicta to make her post, and Silly Little Law Student because I'd love to see which posts she chooses. The two newer acqaitances I've made in the blog world have already been tagged, so I'll just go with Lag Liv and Ismael. I'm such a scofflaw. EDIT: Didn't realize Lag Liv was already tagged. Going after Nicolle.

Spreading the love beyond the MILS because I have a feeling they'll all get tagged eventually.

Here are the rules: Post about the meme and link back to the person who tagged you and go back to your archives and link to your five favorite posts.
Link One: must be about family
Link Two: must be about friends
Link Three: must be about yourself
Link Four: must be about something you love
Link Five: can be anything you choose

** Tag five other people (at least two must be new acquaintances so that you can get to know them better). Let the person know that you tagged them by leaving a comment.

_________________________________
* Really, being ironic.

Ninja lessons

Things said by Clownfish:

• I'm a ninja. Hiya! Hiya! (followed by elaborate quasi-karate-style kicks and jumps)
• When a ninja falls down he says "I meant to do that."
• Ninjas are sneaky. Unless they are jumping and they yell Hiya! Hiya!
• Ninjas try to steal pie from the Samurai.
• I think Pablo is a good ninja.
• And they wear all black and I want to wear all black tomorrow because I am going to be a ninja all week!
• But mommy, ninjas don't HAVE bedtime!

Things said by Mommy:

• Please don't jump off the couch.
• Please stop kicking me.
• Ow.
• Ok, take off your socks if you're going to jump around like that on the hardwood floor. Its slippery.
• You know ninjas tiptoe very quietly, right?
• If you see the ninja, he is not a ninja. Think about it.
• Seriously, no more Backyardigans before bed time.

F**k square 87

Queen Frostine is a slut, gingerbread men come at inopportune moments, square 87 can kiss my ass, and other lessons from Christmas.

In case the above didn't clue you in, I played lots of CandyLand and Chutes and Ladders and other pre-schooler-type board games over Christmas. Only considered a dozen different ways to end my own life.

There are 100 squares in Chutes and Ladders. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get to #100. And you can feel good while doing it -- you do some "good deeds" and you climb ladders. You eat cookies like a naughty urchin and the chutes send you down the number line. But you don't actually have to be guilty of these offenses -- when the spinner of fate lands you on the dreaded Square 87, your ass is back in the low 20's, thus prolonging the pain.

Its the ultimate Mommy blasphemy to say you don't love love love board games with your sweet cherub, but I don't. He beat my brother and I in his first game of CandyLand. Between the two of us "adults" we've probably got 40 years of experience playing the game. Clownfish double purpled and Gumdrop Pathed his way to victory. We got f**king pwned by a noob.

Clownfish didn't gloat too much. His "victory dance" only lasted a minute or two. It involved a lot of butt-shaking and air-spanking. And really, its cute that he yells "who's your daddy, bitch!" every time I get sent down a chute or stuck in licorice. Really, it was the running-around-the-house for "High Fives" from all the relatives as he sang "Mommy got pwned" that started to grate on the nerves.

* * *

Ok, truth. Clownfish is awesome to play with -- he doesn't cry when he loses and says "Good game Mommy" when he wins. And I do enjoy spending time with him. But the games themselves? Hot poker through the eye is more appealing, if only because the pain eventually stops.

* * *


I had a friend recently tell me my blog is funny, you know, when its not sad. I've decided to call that a compliment.

Also no additional grades have posted yet to lift my spirits / send me looking for the nearest bottle of liquor. Rest assured, when they do, you'll hear about it.

Oral Arguments tomorrow

A dialogue with myself...

Clean suit?

Check.

Spiffy shoes?

Check.

Index cards for quick reference to cases?

Check.

Thorough understanding of the standard for cross motions for summary judgment in case judge decides to quiz you?

Check.

Argument organized, written, rehearsed, polished?

Ummm....

But you've begun the argument, right?

Define "begun..."

Ok, have you at least filled out your index cards?

Well...

Have you figured out how you're going to distinguish your case from the one that pretty much destroys your argument?

Well, I thought I had, but the Prof handed me my a** in class today, so maybe not...

So shouldn't you be working on that instead of blogging?

S'pose so... ItalicsMe is such a task master. The rest of Me totally wants to go outside and play "chase the birdies" with Clownfish. Anyway, I'll report on the train wreck later in the week.

Yeah, I'd care more, but it doesn't count much toward final grade, and I'm pretty good on my feet.

Now look who is making the procrastination justifications...

Fine. Oh, and you really need to stop arguing with yourself. Get back on your meds.

How 1L is like parenthood, post #1

1L IS LIKE THE FIRST FEW WEEKS AFTER HAVING A NEW BABY...

10. Everyone tells you its going to be hard, but no one told you it was going to be HARD.

9. Lack of sleep and excessive caffeine and/or alcohol. (Unless you're nursing, then "moderate" amounts of each, which will feel excessive because you haven't had any of either for 10 months prior)

8. You live for the little triumphs, but mostly you feel drained, slightly fuzzy-headed and lost, and marginally brain dead much of the time.

7. Nothing -- no books, no pre-whatever-classes -- can actually prepare you for it.

6. Trying to put into words what is "so hard" about it is nearly impossible, except to someone who has been there.

5. Try to converse with a 1L about a non-law-school related topic. Try to converse with a new mommy about a non-infant related topic. Personality? What personality? Nuff said.

4. 1L and babies are both expensive, and there is incredible pressure to have the "right gear" that will make surviving it easier.

3. Professors, like diapers, are often full of shit... (who didn't see that one coming a mile off?)

2. Once one survives it and adequate time has passed, one thinks: That really wasn't so bad, maybe I'll do it again... (otherwise, why doesn't everyone drop out after 1L?)

1. From what I can tell reading other law student blogs and talking to older law students, and indeed lawyers, you look back on it with a mixture of fondness, dread, nostalgia, and regret.