Devil's (Legal) Dictionary

Chancery:

The Chancellor's Court, the court of equity. Where nothing but performance of the contract was acceptable (no money damages awarded), leading to essentially indentured servitude.

Quoting Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None (Ten Little Indians)

5 little Indian boys going in for law; One got in Chancery and then there were four.

Quoting Seinfeld (Season 4, "The Virgin"):

George: Hey, what about this? I'm in a car accident. The motorist is uninsured, you with me?

Jerry: Yeah.

George: My car's totaled. It's all his fault and now, he has absolutely no money. There is no way that he can pay me. So the judge decrees that he becomes my butler.

The Devil's (Legal) Dictionary

Ambrose Bierce, in 1911 (copyright expired), wrote a satirical dictionary filled with some racist and sexist things that has earned it some criticism, but most of the other entries are dark, funny, caustic brilliance.

An examples from his work:

ABSURDITY, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

After a quick Google search to see that someone hadn't already stolen my thunder, I've decided to add a weekly feature to the blog... The Devil's (Legal) Dictionary. Basically, what I plan to do is take legal terms and phrases and give them the definition I think they ought to have, or what they actually mean in practice.

Ambrose beat me on several legal terms, which I'll post herein occasionally, like this one:

HABEAS CORPUS. A writ by which a man may be taken out of jail when confined for the wrong crime.

Today's Entry:

Joint Tortfeasor: noun. One who smokes the ganja (otherwise known as pot, grass, green goddess, dope, weed, gage, sess, sens, skunk, locoweed, Mary Jane) and then commits a civil wrong (tort) ... often involving a motor vehicle and/or Cheetos.

I invite secondary definitions in the comments, and when this gets published (the secret dream of all bloggers), I will happily give credit to all my contributors.